| Sorry for the long reply, I read all the advice here and really appreciate the replies.
So we've been on this 'break thing" for nearly 3 weeks. We've hung out a few times during it.
The first time she asked me to pick her up from work because wasn't feeling well and I did, we go back to my place, fuck a few times and go to sleep, I leave for work early in the morning and we don't talk or anything.
Next week we do pretty much the same thing, go for dinner / ice cream, fuck, smoke weed, watch tv and sleep. She leaves for work the next day and we don't talk.
Third time I meet her and her friends at a party and we both have an amazing time. We have a lot of fun together and I can tell she's really happy. We go back to my place continue partying and then eventually 'talk'.
We decide that we both really love each other and want to work things out. Eventually I ask if she was faithful to me during the last few weeks, she initially says 'yes' and asks if I was and I say "no." (Because she pretty much left me hanging and didn't say anything I went on a few dates and hooked up) She then changes her answer and reveals that she was not. She explains that she was really depressed, got drunk with a friend, went to an after party and was 'dragged upstairs' and that she didn't mean for it to happen or anything. I get upset and tell her that this changes things for me, basically that I'm not willing to work on things, and that I don't want to be with someone that does those kinds of things to me.
She get's really upset, starts crying explaining things, justifying, asking me to please give her another chance. Next day I go to work, and she sends me messages about how she's not going to give up on this and that she feels awful and stuff. I basically blame her for everything, and was probably a little harsh too. I made it pretty clear that I didn't want to get back together, but said I want time and space to think on it.
I'm fairly certain everyone on this forum will tell me to walk away, and that's what I probably should do and what my gut is telling me to, but there's a part that wants to stay. I don't know if this is something that can be fixed.
Anyway, just wanted to give an update, and I more so post this just to write it down and reflect on it.
thanks again for the replies _________________ T-1000
|