Quote:
By actually giving a shit about her and genuinely want to get to know about her interests, hobbies, family.
This ^.
Genuinely is the keyword. You should
want to learn more about her as a person.
It's easy to go from fun banter and actually wanting to know her to going into an "interview mode," which is a great way to kill attraction. When she's talking, actually listen to her intently. Resist the urge to think about the next thing to say and
listen to what she's saying. How do you feel about what she said?
I'll tell you how I met my current girlfriend. "You aren't from around here," I say. "Why do you think that?" she asks. "Girl I can tell when someone's from Chicago or not!" She laughs and says, "You'd be right. I'm from Ohio." I joke: "Whoa. What brought you from the cornfields to this illustrious city?"
Obviously what you say has to be congruent with who you are. It's also not so much about what you say but how you say it. You have to be honest about your intentions, and to do that you have to make yourself vulnerable and open to rejection. If you want sex, push the interaction towards sex, escalate, and don't be ashamed about it. Own up to what you want. Take two steps forward and one step back.
Otherwise you'll end up talking about the weather or the environment around you which is not only boring but a waste of time.