My View On Relationships



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PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2015 7:18 pm 
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I don't think OP is saying that having sex will do some jedi mind trick where a woman will trust you and love you. From what I read he is saying sex makes it easier for her to open up and have those conversations where you get to know her.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2015 8:09 pm 
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I dont know what the history is with you guys on here, but all I know is your thread is entitled "MY Views" so however you feel is how you feel. Can you elaborate on how sex with a woman helps you know her better? And if anyone disagrees, please elaborate on how the OP's views are wrong.
I think pebble did a pretty good job in his last post elaborating this point, but I will make it concise and to the point.

Sex will allow you to get to the know the girl better because:
1. The investment is higher, she will think "This is real." Thus allowing her to drop her guard more and open up to who she really is.
2. A women feels incredibly vulnerable through sex. Take her through that experience many times and she will trust you and have a comfort of incredible quality with you.
3. The investment that I referenced earlier will likely stay higher than if you continuously hung out and not had sex. This will give you a better chance at keeping her around and getting to know her more.
4. Pillow talk after sex is an incredible way to get to know a women. Far better than being in the friend zone for months and talking about stupid shit.
5. Through sex and experiencing that together, the two of you have shared one of the things that bring men and women closer together. Everytime I have hooked up with a girl, I have felt connected to her. Even if it was a one night thing or whatever, sex does bring people closer together.

Through sex, I also get a vibe and energy with women. Something that you can't really get the full experience of getting to know someone in other ways imo.

Let me know how you would dispute these or how you better to get to know a women. There isn't one other than sex.
This is getting to be too much theory. The women that I've been out with have had ranges from opening up after sex or shutting down emotionally after having sex. Point being is that women react differently to sex.

What I will give you is that inexperienced and/or clingy girls do tend to go down the "this is real" mindset. However, these are the same ones that constantly qualify themselves to you before sex. A quality woman does not because she's been through it already and understands how most guys work. She can view you as sex worthy and is willing to find out if you are relationship worthy afterwards and that is the reason why she is willing to open up.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2015 12:19 am 
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Each to their own... I just prefer (if I want to actually get to know a girl) to get her to open up emotionally through conversation... nothing to do with the friendzone.
Still waiting for you to share how you specifically do this, and why it would be better than getting to know a girl through sex.

What I do and I have to or else quick sex (1 or 2 dates usually) would not be possible is to build that deep connection comfort early through conversation.
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You build attraction first, then comfort. A relationship is no different, it's just spaced out more; moments that build attraction followed by moments that build comfort. As the relationship evolves you have more comfort moments and less attraction moments, which is normal and healthy.
And sex is the best form of attraction and comfort.

Your answer would be to game her to get to know her better? Well duh.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2015 12:27 am 
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This is getting to be too much theory.
And then you get into more theory based on judgements:
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A quality woman does not because she's been through it already and understands how most guys work.
What is a quality woman and to who?
Quote:
Point being is that women react differently to sex.
This is very true however the vast majority are more towards the side of getting to know you better rather than shutting down and the ones who do typically shut down because they feel vulnerable. If you can take that for what it is, it is in fact is a positive side of getting to know someone better. She is guarded because she cares. Show her the same affection and she will blossom in my experience.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2015 12:31 am 
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Lastly there is a side effect that women will typically assume that connection with you after you have had sex with them even for just one night. This girl from tinder:

viewtopic.php?f=22&t=191765

Still hits me up sending me love songs on youtube and such from the Philipines. In my opinion, the sex was slightly above average, I took the time to know her, but obviously the connection is there and she wants to get to know me more.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2015 12:52 am 
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I dont know what the history is with you guys on here, but all I know is your thread is entitled "MY Views" so however you feel is how you feel. Can you elaborate on how sex with a woman helps you know her better? And if anyone disagrees, please elaborate on how the OP's views are wrong.
I think pebble did a pretty good job in his last post elaborating this point, but I will make it concise and to the point.

Sex will allow you to get to the know the girl better because:
1. The investment is higher, she will think "This is real." Thus allowing her to drop her guard more and open up to who she really is.
2. A women feels incredibly vulnerable through sex. Take her through that experience many times and she will trust you and have a comfort of incredible quality with you.
3. The investment that I referenced earlier will likely stay higher than if you continuously hung out and not had sex. This will give you a better chance at keeping her around and getting to know her more.
4. Pillow talk after sex is an incredible way to get to know a women. Far better than being in the friend zone for months and talking about stupid shit.
5. Through sex and experiencing that together, the two of you have shared one of the things that bring men and women closer together. Everytime I have hooked up with a girl, I have felt connected to her. Even if it was a one night thing or whatever, sex does bring people closer together.

Through sex, I also get a vibe and energy with women. Something that you can't really get the full experience of getting to know someone in other ways imo.

Let me know how you would dispute these or how you better to get to know a women. There isn't one other than sex.
OP, I'm curious...if you're getting women to invest in you and stick around more with sex, are you really getting them to open up?

What IS "opening up" and getting to know a girl? Is finding out stuff about her from conversations? Is it getting her to show her true character? 2 different things.

My opinion is....I disagree with both of you. I disagree with you, because you used a hotel room hookup as proof of a connection because she still hits you up. Good job, but doesnt really say you KNOW this girl.

My overall opinion on how to get to know a girl...Time. Or any person for that matter. Sex may get her to be vulnerable and say some nice stories over pillow talk, but you dont really know someone until a significant amt of time has passed. Whether you screw a girl every night for 6 months, or you talk to her deep stuff every night for 6 months, you still dont know her. Now, sex is good to make a girl invest and stick around, and tell you deep things, but for the first few months its really all just bs anyway. It's called the honey moon period for a reason. Yes, go for sex early, just dont fool yourself that either through sex or conversations about what she wanted to be when she was 5, that you're really getting to know someone.

If you're dating/sleeping or seeing someone for a year, you cant even say that she loves you tbh. Go through some shit with her and see what comes up. Words mean nothing, especially from girls...you gotta watch someone's actions when things are good, and things are bad, to even have an idea of who they really are.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2015 2:10 am 
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My overall opinion on how to get to know a girl...Time. Or any person for that matter. Sex may get her to be vulnerable and say some nice stories over pillow talk, but you dont really know someone until a significant amt of time has passed. Whether you screw a girl every night for 6 months, or you talk to her deep stuff every night for 6 months, you still dont know her. Now, sex is good to make a girl invest and stick around, and tell you deep things, but for the first few months its really all just bs anyway. It's called the honey moon period for a reason. Yes, go for sex early, just dont fool yourself that either through sex or conversations about what she wanted to be when she was 5, that you're really getting to know someone.
Definitely this. But to put things in perspective, as a general rule, you get to know a girl better at the fastest time after you have fucked her COMPARED with not fucking her at all. There will be exceptions of course.

To get to know a girl's true character 80% to 100%, time does play an important role BUT you have to be non-judgmental so she won't keep secrets from you.

At any rate, after fucking her really good, a girl will usually open up because she feels talkative and more trusting after the massive amount of oxytocin release. Pebble is dead on the spot though that a few girls DO close up emotionally after a good banging.
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Words mean nothing, especially from girls...you gotta watch someone's actions when things are good, and things are bad, to even have an idea of who they really are.
This is GOLD honestly. It is one of the best lessons that I've learned from the PUA Community. Truth though is usually a combination of words and actions. Truth is never standalone 100% action only or 100% words only.

Way back when I was quite a bit naive with women a few years ago, I thought I can rely on what a woman said was true to be the truth and absolute truth. Now I know better. Women demand for loyalty, faithfulness and monogamy from their husbands and boyfriends and yet at the same time they will try someone else's cock and act like a victim after the pleasurable enjoyment of cock sucking and pussy pounding (when they get caught). But as long as the nights of pleasure trying other cocks remain a secret, they will tend to act holy and pure and keep on speaking about God and being religious to the core to impress unsuspecting boyfriend or husband materials.

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Last edited by Monsignor Crisanto on Wed Aug 12, 2015 2:28 am, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2015 2:25 am 
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This is getting to be too much theory.
And then you get into more theory based on judgements:
Quote:
A quality woman does not because she's been through it already and understands how most guys work.
What is a quality woman and to who?
Quote:
Point being is that women react differently to sex.
This is very true however the vast majority are more towards the side of getting to know you better rather than shutting down and the ones who do typically shut down because they feel vulnerable. If you can take that for what it is, it is in fact is a positive side of getting to know someone better. She is guarded because she cares. Show her the same affection and she will blossom in my experience.
Lol. You are so used to arguing with me that you don't realize that I'm talking through experience and not theory. But to clear up what I'm saying for you is that a quality woman is a woman that is feminine, takes time to make herself attractive, has something going for her, and is grounded in reality when it comes to relationships. Inexperienced and less quality women are the ones that get dreamy after sex. These tend to be girls that are younger or not used to being pursued by men.

I'm not going to get into the conversation of why they shut down because you paint a very broad stroke which may or may not be true for various reasons.

Btw...neo hit the nail on the head. You don't really know a woman until she shows you her unattractive qualities and that doesn't happen until after the honeymoon period is over.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2015 8:51 am 
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I think we can all agree that getting into a relationship before you have got to know her emotionally AND physically is the worst idea in the world.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 12:40 am 
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I think we can all agree that getting into a relationship before you have got to know her emotionally AND physically is the worst idea in the world.

+1
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But to clear up what I'm saying for you is that a quality woman is a woman that is feminine, takes time to make herself attractive, has something going for her, and is grounded in reality when it comes to relationships. Inexperienced and less quality women are the ones that get dreamy after sex. These tend to be girls that are younger or not used to being pursued by men.
Quality is different for everyone. Making a value judgement about what is quality for everyone here is making a lot of assumptions. More experienced women, this is different if this is what you meant. There was a lot of assumptions stated in your post and it would be more beneficial to make your point since I do think you had a good one behind some of those. My thoughts from it was you were assuming a "quality" girl, which I would think of at least in your description here as one who thinks she is worth a relationship will not become as easily connected as one who doesn't feel she is qualified for the relationship.
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My overall opinion on how to get to know a girl...Time. Or any person for that matter.
Good input and a cool perspective to think about is that if there were only the two of you on an island you would eventually hook up, time.

I think we need to go further and make this actionable however. Time is not the only factor and there are ways to distort time and to make her even feel closer with you. If you think that time is the only factor, it is very likely that you will end up in the friend zone with guys like J. Daniels.

Improving on my thoughts, I would say that sex is going to give you a better opportunity to spend more time with a women and thus lead you to get to know her better, I think it's also going to be a way to get to know a side of her that she doesn't show everyone. She won't tell her best friends the most intimate things, but some things she will only reveal to a lover. This kind of connection from what I have seen usually tops others.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2015 7:07 am 
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I bang girls from Tinder who I don't know, then I suddenly know everything about them! OH MY GOD YOU'RE RIGHT! Wow! All this time, I didn't realise. The girls that I've known for weeks who I sleep with, are clearly just fucking me to be polite and they really view me as a friend. Damn!

For crying out loud.

Other people made some good points, but you're just pretending to have the slightest idea what the fuck you're talkin' about. For the record, 9 times out of 10 the sex is twice as good with a girl who I'm (by your logic) in the friend zone with. I also don't know anything about girls that I fuck from Tinder, or girls that I've fucked on nights out...

I can't believe I've just written all of that and even entertained your last reply. I think you probably grew up with a lack of females around you (relatives) and you're unable to build any kind of real connection with them, so you're either lying to yourself and fighting it off or you're just being lazy and ignorant.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2015 7:52 am 
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I have been thinking a lot on relationships lately and I wanted to go into at least how I view them. Now I have had a few long term relationships since I have been in game 3 years now, both open and closed relationships, but I have found this to be an area of life where most non-PUA guys get crazy with.

First, I don't believe that you can really get to know someone well enough to make them your girlfriend quickly. She has to earn this privilege with me. The one girl I dated exclusively in the past three years, she had to wait 5+ months for that opportunity.

When you start dating someone, I leave out any expectations. She may want me to be her bf and I may be so attracted to her I want the same at some level, but you don't know she is of the quality to even consider that at the start. Plus, what if the sex is terrible? Yes some girls are absolutely awful lays.

The first goal is to have sex with her. Then you can see more into who she truly is and what she is ever after. Most things are not communicated with words, it is all actions.

I move then to see her once a week. It should be a meet leading up to sex. If you see her as an FB then no date. If you are still considering her for an MLTR then go for the date. If there is no sex after the date I will give a soft-next, not talking to her for three days.

Soon she should be fighting to be the only girl in your life and you should be dating several women at a time. How are you going to decide on the one girl if you had no basis for comparison, or no options?

At about a month she usually brings up the relationship topic, IE "Where is this going?" I avoid this one because I still need more time. Usually it is some smart ass comment followed by changing topic. Then I am communicating that we are not discussing this right now.

Then at two months she will bring up the topic again. At this point you have to address it. If you don't want a girlfriend you tell her, but state that you really care about her and would like to see her still. Alternatively if you want to make her your girlfriend at that point, do it!

Of course all of this goes without saying that finding relationships and such should go with your current life goals. If settling down isn't something you don't want to do or something that doesn't support you in your life, don't do it!

I don't ever lie to my girls. Honesty is important and it is not just about what you say, but what you do. If you know how to communicate really well in these ways, you can form relationships that others think are impossible.


This thread got off topic pretty quick about one sentence
Quote:
"The first goal is to have sex with her. Then you can see more into who she truly is and what she is ever after. Most things are not communicated with words, it is all actions. "
This is true

Quote:
Only a small percentage of communication involves actual words: 7%, to be exact. In fact, 55% of communication is visual (body language, eye contact) and 38% is vocal (pitch, speed, volume, tone of voice)

This is actually a pretty solid post IMO. You don't want to be settling down with one of the first couple of girls you hook up with. You should be in no rush to settle down either. Sex is important. If the sex is good then generally the chemistry between you is good and that's what makes a good relationship. You won't truly know what good chemistry is, or how good it can get, until you've been with alot of women tho IMO.

to tl'dr op's OP. Fuck as many bitches as you can. Don't settle down until you have fucked alot of bitches. Make the bitch you have the best chemistry with your girlfriend, but not until you've fucked alot of bitches. :lol: :mrgreen:

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