Evening all,

Today I resigned from my job and refused to work my notice period. My boss is a bully and he deserves no favours from me at all. I may sound like a jerk, but there's more to this than just bragging or self pity.

We are the intelligent few who know our limitations and our weaknesses and want to change them. It took me a number of years to develop this self confidence and awareness but its definitely something that's worthwhile doing. How we behave when the chips are down defines who we really are, how important our principles really are and if we can look ourselves in the mirror.

Let me tell you something about me. I am flat broke right now. I am in a foreign country and have only been here for a short time so my support network is small. I am not from a well off family so the bank of mum and dad is not an option either I'm fairly proud to say.

The past few weeks have been difficult. Despite working very hard and maintaining a positive outlook, a number of things at work haven't been working out. There's been deception, lies and backhandedness from some of my senior colleagues and in order to survive in that environment its required to get involved.

So I decided to kill off my career. I am an intelligent guy, I have a number of interviews coming up for other roles and I am sure I will be fine. Still, there is no guarantee.

Today, it didn't go well despite approaching it with humility and kindness. Which brings me on to the title. You cannot control others. If they wish to fuck things and up and try and intimidate others then they will. You can only control how you react to it.

It is clear that the boss knew I needed the money. Currently I haven't enough to pay the rent for the month. However, more important than money is self respect and dignity. The money comes and goes. Self respect is the only thing we can keep and no one can take from us unless we let them.

So after many intimidation tactics on his behalf, mocking of me and attempted bullying I told him that he either wants me to serve my notice, in which case he treats me with respect, or I will not serve it and he can dock my wages for the time I will miss. He mocked me in a way that reminded me of my senior school bullies. So I told him that I would not be dealt with in such a way, told him that I would be leaving with immediate effect and I bid him good luck and walked out of the office for good.

Why am I tell you this? Like you care that I am currently a jobless bum sat on my bed in my underwear with eyeliner on (all true).

Well, I am telling you for two reasons.

Firstly, this game has given me the self belief to know that I can achieve anything and have no need to be held to ransom by anyone. This should be the aim of every PUA. Whether it be in the work arena, love, pussy or friends. But this should be obvious. The second reason is more poignant.

The power of quitting is often underestimated.

Quitting is a four letter word (not literally for all you pedants out there). We are told that quitting is bad. It isn't always. It's sometimes the best course of action and I want to share the rather obvious but often missed wisdom here.

Concorde was built by the British and the French. It was a wonderful idea but an economic disaster. It cost so much to make that it was impossible to get that money back. This was well known by Concorde insiders. So why did it become a commercial jet?

Well, sadly it was the fear of quitting. The British and French had spent so much money developing and building it that they didn't want all of that investment to be for nothing. So they put it in the air. Despite it being a loss maker its entire lifetime.

You see, they were so worried about all the time, money and effort being for nothing that they wasted even time, money and effort making their misled dream a real reality by making Concorde available to the masses. This is a clear example where pride and a fear of your past efforts being a waste get in the way of a sensible decision. This is not clear thinking.

Now the point. No matter how much time or any other commodity you spend on a job, a girl, or whatever. Never be afraid of walking away. Never kid yourself. If you do then you are no better than the old drunk gambler sitting at the table and wanting "one more role of the dice". We all know how that story ends.

If you've done well with a 10 and you are chasing that shag but it isn't coming. Walk away if you know deep down you are being led on. Don't chase it.

If you are working your arse off in a job and you find yourself getting in deeper and deeper with a career, boss or colleague that you don't want to be involved with, walk away.

I'm not saying don't try hard. Always try your best. But always be pragmatic. For you wasting your time on any project is a double waste. For every second you waste at a job you hate or a girl that isn't that into you, you have actually wasted 2 seconds. The first for the wasted project and the second for another project you could have been focussing on being successful instead if you weren't wasting your time with the first.

Quitters do prosper, when they do it at the right time.

Gypsy.

Even though he was wrong in his actions towards you, do you believe that you could have dealt with this differently than threatening to walk away if your employer didn't change?

I'm not sure what country you are in and what employee laws that you have, but where I am you could address something like that with an email which will force him to acknowledge his behavior towards you and not responding would make him look bad. In essence, you've documented your complaint and any blowback would be retaliation. Or perhaps just talking to him without a threat of leaving could change his approach towards you.

You may not be able to control others, but there are tactics to bringing them to your side. Like Eddie Fews has said in the past "Chess > Checkers".

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Hello,

Sadly the time for consideration had gone. For the record I didn't threaten to leave. I did leave. It wasn't the first time I had made him aware of the problems he has with dealing with the workforce. I was directly below him (the CEO). So it was a conversation I was able to have with him candidly previously. Sad nothing had changed, we were loosing staff left, right and centre.

However, I don't want to dwell too much on my particular situation. If we are honest then there are always details of interactions that we could have done differently. I challenge myself after such altercations.

The point is that, in principle, sometimes walking away, quitting, is the best course of action. Knowing when to stop and them dedicate your efforts on something more fruitful is key. That's the point I was making. My particular situation, and that of Concorde's, were merely analogy.

It may sound like an obvious point to make but too many of us get fixated with a target and lose sight of the bigger picture.

You misunderstand me. You told him that you would walk if he didn't change his attitude towards you. That is telling him that it's going to be your way or no way. People in superior positions don't often respond the way that you want when this type of action is taken. Since he didn't comply, you remained consistent with your word.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Perhaps I haven't been clear. I was leaving anyway. Hence the handing in the notice... My decision to leave immediately was based on the fact that it was a waste of time staying if it was just nonsense cock comparing and not productive.

Ultimately I was leaving anyway after many conversations on behalf of myself and my more junior colleagues.

Again. I'm not wishing to dwell on that point. There is a more important point here. I felt it was obvious but perhaps not.