12/11/2014
The Russian Girl.
So I met that Russian Girl Ive matched on Tinder. 23, tall, kind of looks like a mix between Olivia Wilde and Natascha McElhone from Californication. Yeah, pretty hot.
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So here is the
Tinder convo
On Tinder:
Me: Hey, wanna marry me?
(thats my standard opener, works like 9/10 times)
Her: Not sure yet, prefer to know a man at least for 5 min before marriage.

Me: Man thats quite a while. Not sure if I can wait that long.

Her: ahahaha. Poor thing. It worthj it, then u will have the eternity with me, and no chance to escape

no matter how much u beg
Me: Haha. Sounds like an amazing deal. Im not scared at all.

Her: What r u? fearless? U should be. Im a cruel russian girl. U know the reputation, u cannot really change it.

Me: Whats that reputation?
Her: Of heartless people. Thats what they say about russians.
Me: Oh thats neat. Im kind of a dick. So we should make a great couple

Her: Oh for god sake, self description as a "dick" sounds really terrible even for a dick. Btw. I normally I dont swear. Well will I at least get a tiffany ring for engagement? Otherwise marring u is not fun at all

Me: Sure but whats in it for me

Whats the upside to marrying a heartless russian?

Her: Apart from me being gorgeous, intelligent and funny? Not much really, so id doesnt worth it

skip it man.
Me: You forgot humble

Her: R u kidding me? Im not even slightly humble. Wrong russian, (my name)
Me: We should move it to SPAM thats easier. My number xxx
Her: Sure but my WA died since im here. Can do fb, if u want.
Me: Yeah whats your fb name.
Her: (fb name)
Then on FB:
Me: Man, thats a helluva lot of pictues
Her: well, cannot say the same about u. I still think that u r a maniac
Me: i most certainly am
Her: disaster. who u r, man?
Me: as you said, just a disaster. you should definitly not meet me
Her: sounds very promising. may be only tiffany ring will chnge my minf
Me: so russian women are all about getting stuff, i see
Her: sure, what else, especially from random maniacs
Me: those are the best ones
Her: sounds absolutely terrible, indeed :0
Me: Im thinking about getting a tattoo from a trainee, should i risk it?
Her: no
Me: but the ones she has done look great: (Link to tattoos)
Her: ok, I like her hair style. go for it
Me: alright, but youre gonna have to hold my hand
Her: oh come on! will u do the same when i will give birth to our children?
Me: o0; okay, we gonna definitily gonna use condoms
Her: ahhahah, twice "gonna", so now u r terrified, fearless?
Me: thats how serious i am
Her: men are men, that was easy
Me: what?
Her: was easy to scary u
Me: i dont know what you crazy russian chicks are up to haha
Her: and u never will, so now u r scared. and seemed to be a brave guy in the begining....sad
Me: thats how it goes and for a second there we could have been great
Her: for a second
Me: yeah, fairly cute russian girl would have been great on my resume, maybe tinder will have another one
Her: r u serious?!?!?!? u r such an ASSHOLE!??!?!? truly outstanding... do u add girls to your CV as well?
what's your job after all?
Me: to hook up with a girl from every country
Her: disgusting!
Me: just kidding, Im doing film stuff mostly
Her: porn? might be yes
Me: Im actually still a virgin
Her: of course, all porn directors are
Me:

:D
Her: otherwise they wouldn't be able to do that; tha't so obvioues
Me: you have been thinking quite abit about porn apparently
Her: of course, i watch it non stop, that's my job, I'm from the morality police, u know
Me: worse than the real police
Her: we have no boundaries. where u from, btw? so that I would never go to that place
Me: unfortunatly youre already in xxx
Her: damn! u couldn't have been born among this beauty
Me: Now I know youre joking
Her: oh so NOW u know, thanks god, such a relief
Me: Im cute as a puppy
Her: depends on breed, bulldogs are ugly, and u r even worse than bulldog, terrible. do u have family may be atleast? only this can save u in my eyes...
Me: Yeah I keep parts of them in my freezer
Her: u know your jokes are way too flat, I do not laugh
Me: Alright, then lets get serious. Cause I also need to go to bed soon, work and everything. I think youre cute. I am not an asshole actually, Im a pretty decent guy, and also alot of fun. So if you wanna meet up for a drink tomorrow night, that'd be great. If not, no big deal. Was still fun talking to you
Her: I'm for meeting up, but not tmw. what about sunday?
Me: That might work. But I have some work to do, in the afternoon, so Im gonna check in with you beforehand to make sure.
Then two days later, without any conversation in between she hits me up again:
Her: So, decent guy, my unreliable friends keep changing their plans so I'm free tonigh in case if u wanna meet
Me: Hows xxx at xxx its a great bar, but not to formal, so dont come all dressed up
Her: why would i?
Me: always feisty, are you? its gonna be fun

Her: exactly, no smile
give me your number in case if I'll be terribly lost. It happens. I'm a topographical idiot
Me: xxxx
Her: ok. see u then
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So we met up at a cocktail bar, Ive been taking Tinder girls to, for a while. I read up on dating russian girls, to prepare myself. But fuck me, she was NOTHING like what I was expecting. She was really excitable and talkative and fucking smart as well. No shittests, no cold bitchyness, nothing. But, and here is the big but, I think she had kind of decided it aint gonna happen, within a minute or so. I'm not gonna blame circumstances, I know I fucked it up. But there was nothing to gain at some point.
I already had a drink to get in the mood, and I was game, man. Loads of eyecontact, I displayed alot of confidence, I played with her, while she tried to pierce me with questions about my life story. But It was really hard to get to a base level. She was all about talking about how she got to Austria, about her bachelors degree, talking about laws and shit.
And I tried to get the frame back, get to light topics, be playful. But she always got me back to those deep topics, that get you friendzoned like you wouldn't believe. Within like 20 minutes we were basically talking about all our fears, and wishes and what the fuck. I did some push and pull, but she wasn't to impressed. She was really open and seemed to enjoy herself, but I couldn't get any sexual tension out of her.
And of course she didnt give me anything in terms of kino. I brushed against her, she inched away. I leaned my leg "accidently" against hers, she moved hers. I offered her a sip of my drink, she declined. I'm not sure, if i should have just tried harder, go for it more aggressivly, but as I said, there was no base level attraction to speak of.
In my mind I decided to venue change as soon as I finished my drink, and as if she could read my mind she suddenly told me she would be going home, as soon as I finish my drink. That was after like 1,5-2 hours. Thing is, we met up at 9pm on a weekday, and our buses only go till midnight. So my biggest mistake was probably to stay that long at the bar and not bounce.
So the night ended like 25 minutes later. No sense in trying to KC, without any kino escalation.
Big, big fuck up.
My biggest mistakes:
- Not kinoing more. The thing with the ladder is If she doesnt react positively at the earliest stages youre kind of stuck. Should have probably just tried other things, hand on knee, and shit, but I feel like she would have rejected me. Whats your opinion on that?
- I should have bounced. One of my biggest mottos is: Bounce if the date isnt going great. And while it was going great in terms of conversation, I feel like I was friendzoned like a red haired, pimple faced 15 year old virgin.
Would like feedback and opinions. Should I even bother setting up another date? I feel like that battle is pretty much lost, and I got like 5 other girls I want to meet in the coming weeks.