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I agree that having sex before marriage opens up a lot of opportunities for you, both sexually and intellectually, I'm not denying that. Trust me, it's not for lack of want haha
It basically comes down to my understanding of the bible. It clearly explains that sex was meant to be enjoyed between married couples only. Anything outside of that would be considered fornication or adultery.
Is it really that impossible to get good with girls when you draw the limit at make outs? If I mastered attraction, comfort and inner game, wouldn't that allow me to find the best possible wife/ life partner who also shares my beliefs?
And I looked at the cow.... She's not my type.
OP: First of all, I respect your decision to stay a virgin until marriage. That takes courage, especially in today's social climate. Hopefully, you're setting yourself up for fulfillment.
As far as pickup goes, you probably won't learn too much good information from this forum. The men here are incredibly needy - even the ones who hook up on a regular basis. They NEED women for validation. They NEED approval (via sex) to feel good about themselves. They obsessively emulate the behaviors of confident "naturals" without doing the necessary emotional legwork to actually BECOME confident men themselves. That's why you see so many guys here posting things along the lines of, "I recognized IOIs, proceeded to neg, and attempted to escalate. Got her number later. Texted her the next day. Call her today. No response. I texted her several times and she never hit me back! Am I friendzoned?"
Needy, needy, needy. Even the guys that do go out approaching every night are driven by the NEED for female validation. I suspect very little of it has to do with forming fulfilling relationships with women. They judge their success based on quantity ("how many HB9s have you banged, bro?") instead of quality ("How amazing was your time with that girl?").
PUA, in essence, is a bandaid solution for much deeper issues. I've been in the game long enough to tell you that it WILL fuck you up emotionally and mentally if you get too deep into it (although some material has some incredibly practical advice that really does help).
As far as solutions into your issues, I would say this:
Don't worry about gaining sexual experience. If you're planning to marry a virgin anyway, it doesn't matter. You'll both suck big time in bed. But you'll both grow together and experience something none of these guys (including myself) has.
Focus on confidence. Focus on removing the NEED for female validation. Learn to express yourself
HONESTLY. Don't bend your personality in order to impress women (or anyone else). Be transparent. Embrace rejection and take it as a sign of incompatibility. DO NOT BE MANIPULATIVE. Set STANDARDS for yourself. Figure out what you will and WILL NOT tolerate from women. Make sure to enforce these standards regardless of beauty. If a woman puts on her bitch shield, walk away. If she flakes on you repeatedly,
break contact. Contrary to PUA belief,
not all women "test" you - only emotionally immature, bratty, and insecure bitches do this regularly. Unless you're going for cheap lays, REFUSE their little "tests." Grow balls and have some respect for yourself.
Since you're not planning to get laid, you actually have an advantage over many here. You can approach women and tell them they're beautiful, not anticipating sexual favors in return. You can learn to express yourself honestly without fear of NOT getting laid. And that's HUGE! When women see you're not invested in how they perceive you, you will become 90% more attractive than most guys.
Since sex is out of the equation, you actually focus on connecting with women on an EMOTIONAL level without that outcome attachment. In fact, I would start with trying to genuinely connect with as many people as possible. Cowards hide behind the mask of PUA and gimmicks.
Truly confident individuals express themselves honestly and sincerely regardless of consequences (this is coming from someone who has experienced TRUE confidence in these past 3+ years after going my whole life faking it). The freedom is amazing.
Lastly, make sure you're looking for women in the right places. Since you want a girl who shares similar values, hitting up clubs and bars isn't going to work well. Get more involved in your church. Start going on missions (or whatever it is your particular religion does). Start talking to the women you meet through these channels without trying to impress them or "raise value."
Be as real and genuine as you can possibly be,
because you're looking for a WIFE now. If you can find someone who vibes with the REAL you (that includes your rough edges, your flaws, etc..), then you've probably found a girl worth keeping.
Good luck my friend.
P.S. - Hitting the gym regularly, increasing your income/financial status, and focusing on self-improvement in ALL aspects of your life also helps greatly in increasing your confidence and makes you more attractive.