Hey man, I really don't think I will either but it's hard not to try. I know if I was reading this thread as an outsider, I'd think I'm a pussy too who should move on.

But I have come up with a plan. You guys might not agree and a lot of it might be "beta," but I'm going to give it a shot anyway.

During our relationship, I became friends with one of her guy roommates. I felt like I could trust him. Soon after the relationship ended, I texted him asking him to tell me if he heard anything from her. I told him not to tell my girl or anyone else that I contacted him, and that I trusted him. He responded saying he wouldn't tell anyone and would tell me if he heard anything. He didn't end up hearing anything, particularly because he went home for a week. But before I make any move now, I'm going to text him asking if she's seeing anyone else. If she is, fine. I'll at least have some insight.

If she isn't seeing anyone, I think I'm going to text her casually. If she is seeing someone else, or she isn't very responsive to my texts or attempt to meet up after texting her casually, I am going to say that I simply want to meet up as friends and/or talk on the phone about what went I did wrong in our relationship. I will explain that I want to learn what I did wrong and what mistakes I made so that I don't make them again, because I've started dating/seeing another girl. Some may think this is pathetic. I see it as finding some closure and somewhat getting the upper hand.

I know it's been 4 weeks and this talk would be terrible timing. But I need to get over this, find some closure, and move on. I'm the type of person that needs answers and closure. I wish we had had this talk earlier or I had pushed her for an explanation right off the bat. But I didn't and that's the way she goes...

Let me know what you think.

Send it/ Do something

Read my plan above, and let me know what you think. I'm going to act now.

send it. Take action. Or call him and ask

I sent him a text. No response yet. We'll see. I may follow up tomorrow morning. He may also not want to get in the middle of anything.

Just to clarify, sending the text was not good game wise but it's a million times better than doing nothing. My real advice stays, move on but maybe you need to go for it and see for yourself

So her roommate never ended up responding. So I ended up casually texting her this about an hour ago:

"Hey I worked in Parliament today for CBC, reminded me of you and when we went on that tour haha. How's your summer going?"

Considering that she took almost 7 hours to respond to the text I sent her one week after we broke up, I didn't expect a response tonight. But she surprisingly responded just now, with this:

"No way! That's so cool, what were you doing there? My summer has been great. Reid moved out the other day, so that really sucks. How's your summer?"

I think that's a really damn good sign. Where do you think I should go from here? My original plan was to send something that I read in the Ex2 system about us trying to be friends:

"I realize now that us breaking up was for the best. It'd be a shame to throw away our friendship though. So we should meet for coffee someday soon and work on being friends again."

Obviously I wouldn't respond with that right away, but eventually work it into the convo. But now I'm re-thinking that since she gave me somewhat of a positive response, seeking more information about me. Do you think I should play the "friend card"? Or should I just try to lead to setting up a meet? I'd really like to have her around as a friend with benefits.

In all honesty buddy, I dont think you should have texted her if you already spoke to her a week after yous broke up.

Right now, your just holding on to any hope that she gives you. She is asking how your summer has been, not if you want to be with her again.

The no contact rule works for a reason, its meant to be HER CONTACTING YOU.

it works for a variation of reasons. But what is done is done.

My advice for you is if you do want to get back with her, meeting up for a coffee, and asking to be friends is definetly not what you should be doing. You should be going out, enjoying your friends company, and then get over her. Someday you will bump into her or she will begin to talk to you, and you be able to tell her all about your new adventures. It is most likely that she will want to get back with you then, rather than now. But who knows, you may have already met someone else by then.

So if you want to take my advice, either dont reply to her, or reply quite bluntly.

Do you really think she'd come out and say let's get back together on the first the text? You have to remember that I was also the one that initiated and brought up the breakup. I played it very cool, left her place, and only texted her once one week after.

And have you read the Ex2 System? He says 3-4 weeks after the breakup, women experience massive loneliness and are very receptive to contact. He also recommends texting her and saying the breakup was for the best, let's be friends. It gives me the chance to swoop a re-attract her. Anyway, no contact isn't as effective since I'm the one who initiated the breakup. It changes the dynamics. She's the one waiting for me to initiate contact.

If she was seeing someone else or not interested, you'd think she'd take hours to get back to me, respond briefly, or not respond at all. Don't you think?

You have got one-itis,

Game other women. She responded to a text from you, big fucking deal, and you're already drooling like a starving dog that's just been thrown a breadcrumb.

The ex2 system might well say that after three or four weeks women experience a profound sense of loneliness. Sure, some women probably do. However, all human beings are different, they might react to break ups differently and the truth of the matter is that sometimes a woman doesn't give a monkeys toss whether she ever speaks to you again.

I'm not saying all hope is gone, but I am saying that you're overreacting and you are far too over invested in this girl for a serious attempt to get her back. I think you need to move on and actually start approaching other women.

I helped my best friend get over his ex, he gave me his phone that he used to text her on and got himself a new one. If I got texts from her, I just ignored them completely and often didn't even tell him about it. Eventually he found someone else after three months of no contact.

Now he regularly receives emails from his ex-girlfriend begging him for another chance and asking if there is any hope between them if he were to break up with his current gf. He hasn't replied yet.

I agree with the above poster. I once had a girl break it off with me just before she was leaving for the summer. I did not contact her the entire 3 months. Once school started up again I ran into one of her friends who said my ex had been looking for me...I had moved and changed phones so she had no way of getting a hold of me. Eventually she got my number and called for a meet up. After we met up we walked back to my place and she tried holding my hand saying that she really missed me and couldn't believe I didn't contact her for the entire summer. 2 days later I was banging her again. No contact means no contact, if you do end up meeting her just act very nonchalant and don't ask about what went wrong or anything about you changing. If you don't meet up, erase her number. Hope this helps.

Thanks, it does. I understand no contact but I wanted to try to follow through on the Ex2 system. And he says try in 3-4 weeks. He also states that if the guy breaks up with the girl, it changes the dynamics of no contact. It doesn't quite work as the burden is on me to pursue her and initiate contact. She was acting weird but I was the one who called her out on it and said "let's take a break." Plus I said I had been thinking of breaking up. So technically I broke it off, or at the very least it was mutual. I also think one of the things that triggered the deterioration of our relationship was me hitting on a couple girls at her party. Clearly big mistake. Some more context for you.

What's your opinion on saying I'd like to meet up as friends? I was thinking of just seeing if she'd just like to meet up for coffee and not mention anything anout friends at first, but then go with friends text if she's hesitant.

Even saying that could put me in a position of power and lead our relationship to friends with benefits over time.

I was almost in the same position, I literally lost sleep over this girl. All summer I wanted to contact and see how she was doing. When I heard she was looking for me, I almost went directly over to her house to see her. I didn't call, I didn't go over, I lived my life and waited. Its hard but if she doesn't reach out then I would do nothing, if you see her around just act like you would if you saw any other girl that was a friend. If she wants to get in touch she nows how but you saying you want to be friends doesn't do anything to help your situation because clearly you want more than friendship. If you do actually become friends you will become needy and act clingy because of this...its a guarantee. I wouldn't send any more texts or ask for a meet up, just my 2 cents. Good Luck