| Hey, in a previous post, I mentioned a current friend with benefits that I am still deciding on whether or not to drop. If you haven't read it, I'll give you a brief summary. My girl is debatably the hottest one on this trip, and she is also hooking up with this other guy who doesn't know about me. I also mentioned that since she is kind of crazy, the other girls on this trip are too afraid to hook up with me. As of last night, I broke that barrier and hooked up with this other girl.
The other girl told me the day before that she would be down to hook up so right there I was feeling less shitty about my FWB hooking up with this other guy because apparently I did have options. Right after hooking up with her I number/FB closed a native, and I FB closed two others who want to take me out soon. I would say that last night was a success.
As solid as my situation sounds, I am very concerned with the consistant nature of my game. Last night was just a good night. There was a party, and usually the people on my trip are horny (or insecure depending on how you look at it) as fuck, and are pretty much down for everyone. A part of me feels that the only reason I am able to get any is strictly based on my looks. I was voted the 5th most attractive guy on this trip and as "validating" as that is, it says nothing about my nature, goals, and personality.
During meals, I can be the only guy sitting at a table with seven other girls, and say literally nothing. In return, the seven girls around me will also say nothing, making it easy for another AMOG to take over. The problem is that I'm not fun, but thats mainly because I'm not having fun. Due to security reasons, I have to stay on the compound making this a very enclosed environment, and I grow bored of the people and surroundings very quickly. Did I mention that alcohol is banned? Utter bullshit.
I'm tied for second in getting the most pussy, and I still feel very beta. The other guys have waaaaaay more charisma, which in the long run will get them farther than looks ever will. There is only one other person on this trip that I have any connection too, and I am freezing her out currently as a punishment for being a bitch. At any moment I could end my self-induced isolation, by walking over to my peers and sit with them, but the second I get in set, the other guys prove more alpha, and I lose all motivation.
Before I came on this trip, my only goal was to experience a new culture, and slay some poon. Now that I have done both, I am very unsure what to do with myself, and am desperately looking to connect. The good news is that I have learned how to come off as not-needy a long time ago, making people feel comfortable around me. I get approached on and off throughout the day, but unless I am generally interested in someone, which I'm usually not, I cant hold a conversation for longer than 2-3 minutes at a time. *right after I typed that sentence, I was approached...for about a minute...
I honestly have no idea when I'm going to hook up next. For all I know it could be tonight with a girl on the compound, or not for another few weeks until I get clearance to go off with the girls I closed last night. The truth is, I really dont care about that anymore, I just want to learn how to make it so I can hold a conversation with anyone I want for as long as I want and keep them coming back for more. Alas this is a pick-up forum, and strictly about our interactions with women, I'll spare some of the personal details and keep you guys posted on my (un)successful conquests.
Peace. _________________ -Moody
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