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Ok so it began with me and this girl that was inlove with me.We dated 1-2 times then i said i don't want to hang anymore , and that i want us to be only friends ( and i was feeling it ) and on the same day i chose another girl to be my GF.I was not happy with my choice and i told the first girl i liked her ( i really did then ) and told her to wait bcz i cant break up with the girl i was dating now. So i broke up with her and made the first girl my GF. And here is the problem - so we started to hang out, she was very happy , and she had interest in me -she was showing it. And we were like 1 month , everything was okay , we were so happy.Then suddenly one day she cried and told me she is awful to me and im perfect and i dont deserve this , she said she couldn't love , that sometimes she feels neutral. We had sex the same night and at the morning she said to me that she thinks she loves me. We started to see eachother a bit less bcz we had things 2 do and i saw how she started she started to be distant from me (i mean she messaged me very oftenly i had to be the first one to write) but me feelings for her grew even more. I got pissed off and told her what's wrong and she said the same thing that she feels neutral sometimes. A day after a friend told me she told her best friend that it wasnt the same like at the start , she hated herself for hurting the people who loved her , but she had feelings for me. I got really sad and told her i know and i told her that i will give her time so she can figure does she wants to be with me or not. She got very depressed when i said that to her and yeah I said im sorry and that I didnt want it to say it in that way that i want to break up with her.Okay but that didnt change the fact that sometimes she was so annoying and careless and i went from sad to even sadder everyday.I told her that and she said nothing has changed ,she was the same girl as before but sometimes I was too inlove with her and stuff.She started to get busy all the time , and 1 day she came at my house , it was very passionate and at the same day she was like before.And 1 day after the same annoying , careless girl.One night i went to her house and we talked about that again , she told me that if I didnt said that at the starters (when i said i want to be only friends) she would be inlove with me right now , I told her im sorry ,she said she forgives me and i said i was going to fight for her , so she can love again and i kissed her . The day after she was answering me with 1-2 words at SPAM and i got overemotional and told her some things like "i cant take this any longer " she answered me with something like "I am busy , i answer u when I can .. what r u doing , stop it" and at morning i called her and told her im sorry she was sleepy and had no reaction but still she was distant again. So she told her bestfriend that when i was "badass" she liked me more.And this night she came to sleep at my house , she was acting distant again , barely kissed me i always made the first step , then we got all passionate again but didnt had sex.She was very tired but we hanged up to like 4 am. and then we fell asleep. At the morning she was hugging me like before like she really cared about me and stuff , but again barely returned my kisses (mby bcz she was too tired). And she said to me that she doesnt care that much like I care about her(not with these words but it ment that,That was before the sleepover it was the day i went overemotional). So yeah i wanna know what 2 do , how to be so she falls inlove with me again, hang out with her more , or be more distant dont return her messages and stuff. By the way i didnt answer her 1 night all day and she started to spam my phone and yeah i felt happy bcz she showed some interest.
(Excuse me for my english if u can't understand something)
Thank you for your time.
Tip: please use paragraphs. That was absolutely painful (in the eyes) to read. Firstly, you cannot make a girl 'fall in love with you'; she either will or she won't. You can only aid the process- by being the man, being the best in bed you can possibly be and by NOT giving her too much attention. After decyphering that almost unintelligible post, I can conclude that this girl is psychologically/emotionally unhealthy; either she has very low self-esteem- thus unable to accept/reciprocate affection or she has some kind of split personality disorder- both would be a deal breaker for any kind of relationship for me as it would just result in hurt. I can't really advise you of the best course of action to take here, because the situation seems way too vague and inconsistent. Firstly, you screwed the potential of this relationship up BIG TIME, by dumping her then deciding to take her back.
I can however give you some pointers that MAY help:
1. Don't show her more affection than she shows you, EVER.
2. Do not become clingy/needy or chase her. If she withdraws, you do the same.
3. Ask her HER TRUE FEELINGS for you- if she refuses or gives you vague/bullshit answers, cut her loose. If her response is negative or gives any red flags, also cut her loose.
4. If you cut her loose, DO NOT EVER initiate contact with, let her be the one to initiate it.
It sounds like this girl is not 'in love with you' AND that she has serious mental issues. I'm sorry man but this sounds like a deal breaker- for me, at least.
Good luck to you!
