*Facebook Statuses that convey Value* DHV



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uhhu
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 5:39 pm 
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So I'm new to all this stuff and just posted the: "just finished cleaning up my friends list, so if your reading this, congratulations :) Although, don't get too complacent being here ;)"
Mostly girls liking, and commenting things like "I am so happy I made the cut! x" etc. which I ignored.
Then...
HB8 (who I used to fuck) "Really?? Me??"
Me: Aw, this is awkward HB8..you weren't meant to make it this far!! (jk)
HB8: Haha shut it! Xx
HB8: I wouldve deleted me a long time ago too!

Not spoken to this girl in years after a failed attempt at asking her out.

Do I
a) message through the comments on my status
b) private message her
c) leave a comment on her page
d) leave a comment on her status

(PS if this post should be in somewhere else, point and I will go)
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TheDreamingTree
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 5:20 am 
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"Always knew I was this good, but never knew I would be this good" from Wiz Khalifa's song Cameras[/i]
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Heywood Jablowme
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 4:50 pm 
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I was thinking I haven't seen any news about Bigfoot or pictures in a while... I hope he's ok.

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chopders
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 5:11 pm 
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If you are missing of ideas, a subreddit have plenty of fails and win on Facebook. User generated content : http://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/
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DrTooMany
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 6:13 pm 
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-The key to any woman's heart is through her mother, have sex with her and you're in

-Sex is like pizza, even if it's bad, it's still pretty good

-Oh you hate your job? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYONE... and they meet at the bar.

-I love how foreigners try to speak the English language, like the other day this Chinese prostitute, who wanted to applaud me for my sexual performance, said "i give you clap"

-I hate when I forget to turn my swag off at night and i wake up covered in bitches

-The only B word you should call a woman is Beautiful... Bitches LOVE being called Beautiful
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dicerolling
 Post subject: hey
PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 10:16 pm 
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i think people put these thing on facebook dlv. if your a guy for sure it make you look gay like a little a attention whore.

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KimPa
 Post subject: Re: hey
PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 10:49 pm 
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Quote:
i think people put these thing on facebook dlv. if your a guy for sure it make you look gay like a little a attention whore.
Stop vomiting diarrhea from your mouth.. This shit is hot as fuck

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Reo
PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 11:14 pm 
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Here's a bunch of statuses I like. Some I have tested, others will soon be tested. :)
==============================================================

"___thinks brunettes do it better." lots of girls qualifying themselves.

"___is out saving the world.......one girl at a time ;)"

"___is debating whether or not he should contact his physician about his erection lasting more than 4 hours." lots of comments

"___just noticed that someone got onto his facebook and deleted all the hot girls :("

"___has been cleaning up his friends list... if you're reading this, congratulations! You're still cool! But don't get too comfortable :P"

"....seriously.. is there any girl out there that can even keep up?"

"___is officially (your college)'s #1 bachelor."

"___is tired of girls just wanting him for sex.. Im a human being with EMOTIONS!"
or
"___is tired of women treating him like some kind of sex object. I have feelings too you know!!" lots of comments

"...a one minute kiss burns 26 calories, so if you need help working out, I've been told that I'm a great spotter."

"___is now accepting Girlfriend Applications. Must be 18 or older to apply. "

"___has had enough of girls that are only beautiful on the outside" - got a bunch of likes from guys and girls and a couple girls comments.
I've been meaning to comment on this thread for a while.

Pretty much all those statuses not just the ones i highlighted make you like a complete try hard and shows everyone that you are not getting laid. Sure girls may comment but thats about it.
I can think of a few guys back in college who wrote things like they were the permanent friendzoned nerds who were not getting any.

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dicerolling
 Post subject: Re: hey
PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 11:56 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
i think people put these thing on facebook dlv. if your a guy for sure it make you look gay like a little a attention whore.
Stop vomiting diarrhea from your mouth.. This shit is hot as fuck
one of those annoying bitch who post ten status a day about their pathetic life and stay on the computer all day gossiping on people fb. loser

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KimPa
 Post subject: Re: hey
PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 12:49 am 
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one of those annoying bitch who post ten status a day about their pathetic life and stay on the computer all day gossiping on people fb. loser
To be fair, you seem like daddy's lil princess bitching around for no reason. Besides, none of these statutes have to do with our pathetic lives at all.. Everyone getting success using them, and if you don't like it you can go sit in your mom's basement and masterbate fiercely until you fall to sleep dickhead.

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dicerolling
 Post subject: Re: hey
PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 1:22 am 
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Quote:
Quote:

one of those annoying bitch who post ten status a day about their pathetic life and stay on the computer all day gossiping on people fb. loser
To be fair, you seem like daddy's lil princess bitching around for no reason. Besides, none of these statutes have to do with our pathetic lives at all.. Everyone getting success using them, and if you don't like it you can go sit in your mom's basement and masterbate fiercely until you fall to sleep dickhead.
Yea you get laid from posting that lol. Dumbass

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DrTooMany
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 1:36 am 
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holy shit, its a fucking facebook status. it doesnt help or hurt your chances of getting laid. i focus on getting laid when im sarging, NOT when im posting a facebook status lol
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KimPa
 Post subject: Re: hey
PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 1:38 am 
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Quote:

Yea you get laid from posting that lol. Dumbass
not particularly.. but it does DHV and most of them are funny .. Can't see why not

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s465435d2
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 6:49 pm 
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Haha, heres a good one I used a while back and got a lot of likes/laughs and comments on: If you say Jesus backwards, it sounds like sausage.

Another that worked great, "you probably shouldn't wear yoga pants if you have a TERRIBLE camel toe."

and the finale "I'm so miserable without my ex... lol jk she has a chipmunk face"
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MMfollower
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:46 pm 
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those are some bullcrap DHV stories to put on your facebook, I don't recommend.

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