Hi Daniel, just to underline some of Hobbit's points.
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I didn't want to be the loser around, I got into the game for that reason. I guess I wanted to get back at my ex and show to my friend that I'm not the loser. I then focused on being a man with everything that comes with it.
No one wants to be the loser but you seem more concerned about projecting this to your friends.
"I'm happy, I'm this I'm that... I'm doing amazing." One thing I've learnt from life is the idiots to stand up all day projecting their soap opera life to the world and how amazing they are doing tend to be the ones deeply unsatisfied.
Also you use the word 'guess.' You guess you want to get back at your ex. Guess sounds to me like you're unsure of what you're doing. Either you want to get back at your ex or you don't... If I was a betting man I know which one I think it is you really want. Do you?
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I wasn't stressed at all by the conversation but it really reinforce the idea that I was less eager to see them since I wanted to protect my ego. As I went to the bathroom later, I understood they were speaking about her and how happy she was.
The thing is, I don't like having this tag on me. I have the feeling that I'm the guy who's been dumped by the girl who's following the perfect love now. I've been tagged as the guy who can't get over it, not even able to get a life (a job)... the frustrated guy to whom we can't speak about her.
Again, this is all in your head. There is no tag. Look at all you've achieved. Bring up Brazil, you can do this over and over again. Where's the shame in it. You seem to completely discount Brazil now you're in Paris.
This tends to be habits of people with low self confidence. Even when they achieve a great milestone they tend to always focus on the negatives. There is a lot of positives you have going. Try to focus on this.
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I've been pretty good at "vibing" recently. I can work a room, be cool, be consistent... but I hate this etiquette. I am obviously making this up to a certain point.
Really, I wouldn't say so. OK... So you admit you're not naturally extroverted. It's OK to admit this. But you're 'not making it up.' At the moment I would say you're a work in progress. You're exploring your personality.
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My life hasn't been progressing since I came back from Brazil, or at least not in a way that they could tell... but I don't owe them anything, I don't have to be validated by them... but still.
I have the feeling that I am looked upon as the guy who can't make it, the poor guy who's still frustrated from the break up, the poor guy who pretend to have an exciting life not to show his weaknesses to protect his ego. There's a lot of truth in that though.
In those moment, I wish I could show up with an amazing gorgeous girl and show them what I'm capable off... why not banging her right her on the restaurant table... I wish I had actually tell my ex to go fuck herself, at least I would have some closure to that story.
^A lot of the above is about projecting to others how you expect them to react to you. You may not realise this, but I reckon it is exactly this type of 'needing to fit in' behaviour which is keeping you from you expressing yourself truly, and keeping potential relationships at bay.
You talk a lot about being THE MAN. Being THE MAN has little to do with worrying about what others think about you? Think about this one...
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I wish I had this amazing job in this amazing company to project this successful image of happiness....
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