Expert question: do you have to count in "circumstances



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 2:01 pm 
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Sorry skills, but your explanation about fucking at 1st/2nd date & friendzone is limited. There is no golden rule about when to fuck them. My LTR's have very different histories: several dates in two months, after two dates in one week, etc. I do not follow a fixed script, my intuition tells me enough. And if there is one thing that I'm not into right now, it is the friendzone.

And no, you couldn't have land her that date. Yes, there was more than enough attraction, tension etc. But she stressed out. And we all fuck up a date by stressing out at one point. Women can do that too.

I pointed out different things, but anyways i said heavy escalation and/or sex, in second meeting if not friendzone and/or go cold or lose momentum will happened, you are not in the friendzone but she went COLD, and second guessing, this is typical of what happens if you do not heavy escalate to the point of sex in the second meeting... Let say i was you in the second meeting she is in the low point of her life, i would find out why, go into Anthony Robbins mode, address her problem and get her to talk while paying attention and nodding my head without interrupting, then i would give her life advise, then empathy, shoulder to cry on, lift her up, make her LAUGH OR SMILE, change her state, then, then, then escalate...I been here many times, i get these type of problems more than i get asds... And actually this type of situations work so much better to fclose. As i said lmar the problem is not circumstances, is your game.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 2:38 pm 
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Sorry skills, but your explanation about fucking at 1st/2nd date & friendzone is limited. There is no golden rule about when to fuck them. My LTR's have very different histories: several dates in two months, after two dates in one week, etc. I do not follow a fixed script, my intuition tells me enough. And if there is one thing that I'm not into right now, it is the friendzone.

And no, you couldn't have land her that date. Yes, there was more than enough attraction, tension etc. But she stressed out. And we all fuck up a date by stressing out at one point. Women can do that too.

I pointed out different things, but anyways i said heavy escalation and/or sex, in second meeting if not friendzone and/or go cold or lose momentum will happened, you are not in the friendzone but she went COLD, and second guessing, this is typical of what happens if you do not heavy escalate to the point of sex in the second meeting... Let say i was you in the second meeting she is in the low point of her life, i would find out why, go into Anthony Robbins mode, address her problem and get her to talk while paying attention and nodding my head without interrupting, then i would give her life advise, then empathy, shoulder to cry on, lift her up, make her LAUGH OR SMILE, change her state, then, then, then escalate...I been here many times, i get these type of problems more than i get asds... And actually this type of situations work so much better to fclose. As i said lmar the problem is not circumstances, is your game.
I can agree to a certain degree. But, we are in fact dealing with two scenarios. In your scenario, I fucked it up, because I did not divert the situation after a while to a sexual frame. If that was the case, I wouldn't ask for advice. I'm smarter than this. In fact, I didn't. The outcome was optimal in the given situation, but it was not the best outcome. I reached the limits of the given situation, I did most of your advice except her mental state blocked the course of further physical interaction. In this scenario, she's hitting herself to the head because her own actions contradicted what she wanted, that physical interaction. I was empathic, playful, sexual, etc. So, that is why it ended in an awkward ending of the evening. She still contacts me, still sending me the same messages, but she has the association of her own dumb actions with the awkward moment. Women are not the perfect responders, they can fuck up like we do. We both can have certain desires but do dumb things. In this case, it is her fault. Being more comforting would be the chicken way out ending up in the friendzone, being even more sexual would equaled sexual harassment.

So, "circumstances" - her neurotic sad mental state no matter what - were a roadblock for my game. I always could have done better, but not that much better.

For now, I have chosen the freeze out option for a while. Unless you object this taken road?

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 4:38 pm 
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1. We already agreed on having another date. And I fully agree with you. The "problems" around this girl have nothing to do with lack of attraction etc. I'm not in the illusion that I can force her to love me. In that case, I stopped putting effort in her weeks ago. She has to decide if she has enough positive energy to have a date, that was my purpose of giving her the initiative. I'm not going have another date with the same vibe just because she is moody. And I have sent your reply, and I just added "give me a call when you want to continue our party". Nothing more, nothing less.
2. Correct. But not completely in this case. The advantage of my serious talk with her did me realize it has to do with circumstances in this case. She has a "fake happy" crisis, doing or avoiding things in the hope of finding back an emotional stable state of mind. And our story of attraction dates way back before that crisis. It is a temporary thing, otherwise I would again said goodbye weeks ago. So right now, she's paralysed. It happens to everyone, only the timetable of falling back into the old pattern can vary. Does my timing suck ass? Yup, bigtime.
3. True. And I can't say that she's a pain in the ass, she did little things for me and she sent her apologies. Without that, again, goodbye it was.
4. Nope, not really. I'm a very intuitive person. In most of the times, I can perfectly read situations and emotions, good or bad, and act upon them in a more natural way. Why don't I do this now? Very simple, she's doing the same, this is as new for her as it is for me.
5. I try to avoid the real mental cases. Deep = the combination of social awareness, intellectual curiosity and having a distinct personality.
sounds like my gf, when i met her, lol, she was just like this... But now that we are together it was all along a huge shit test, i am not telling you this is what it is, but all along she was looking for SECURITY, since she knew i was a big time player... Not saying this is what it is, but there may be a deeper issue, that you are not meeting in her needs specially after her ex was a so called "pua". With that being said i did escalate her and fuck her in second meeting, lmar that is crusial no matter circumstance you have to take huge risks instead of playing it safe, i believe playing it safe is riskier than not taking huge risks.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 6:09 pm 
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1. We already agreed on having another date. And I fully agree with you. The "problems" around this girl have nothing to do with lack of attraction etc. I'm not in the illusion that I can force her to love me. In that case, I stopped putting effort in her weeks ago. She has to decide if she has enough positive energy to have a date, that was my purpose of giving her the initiative. I'm not going have another date with the same vibe just because she is moody. And I have sent your reply, and I just added "give me a call when you want to continue our party". Nothing more, nothing less.
2. Correct. But not completely in this case. The advantage of my serious talk with her did me realize it has to do with circumstances in this case. She has a "fake happy" crisis, doing or avoiding things in the hope of finding back an emotional stable state of mind. And our story of attraction dates way back before that crisis. It is a temporary thing, otherwise I would again said goodbye weeks ago. So right now, she's paralysed. It happens to everyone, only the timetable of falling back into the old pattern can vary. Does my timing suck ass? Yup, bigtime.
3. True. And I can't say that she's a pain in the ass, she did little things for me and she sent her apologies. Without that, again, goodbye it was.
4. Nope, not really. I'm a very intuitive person. In most of the times, I can perfectly read situations and emotions, good or bad, and act upon them in a more natural way. Why don't I do this now? Very simple, she's doing the same, this is as new for her as it is for me.
5. I try to avoid the real mental cases. Deep = the combination of social awareness, intellectual curiosity and having a distinct personality.
sounds like my gf, when i met her, lol, she was just like this... But now that we are together it was all along a huge shit test, i am not telling you this is what it is, but all along she was looking for SECURITY, since she knew i was a big time player... Not saying this is what it is, but there may be a deeper issue, that you are not meeting in her needs specially after her ex was a so called "pua". With that being said i did escalate her and fuck her in second meeting, lmar that is crusial no matter circumstance you have to take huge risks instead of playing it safe, i believe playing it safe is riskier than not taking huge risks.
I can assure you that I will take any window of opportunity. And she is indeed looking for security, that is the key thing of this whole situation. She had three relationships with: 1. Somewhat a social isolated guy which cannot really connect to people 2. An AFC who chickened out of the relationship when the first practical problem occured 3. A guy who did some simple scripted tricks, he even tried to alpha male me but failed painfully (the pua). She told me afterwards that she had nothing in common with the guy.

I'm always lucky with the combination between bad boy and gentleman. But this time, although I had some serious attraction, I could not divert her mental state.

She told me that I was a very interesting guy, very hard to decipher, but being very empathic. I did my usual "mode one" so to speak, I never go under the radar. She stressed out on my approach, as she had to maintain control. What sounds logical, looking at the her former bfs. Any tips which angle to use to escalate the whole thing?

And your story sounds very familiar. Once I did not escalate with a very interesting girl, it went very ugly when I did not respond anymore to her moodyness. I gave her too much comfort.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 7:33 pm 
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 7:44 pm 
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Ok, one problem. She really screwed up the flirting part at the date because she stressed out. How would you handle that?

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 8:35 pm 
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The name of the mothefucking game
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Ok, one problem. She really screwed up the flirting part at the date because she stressed out. How would you handle that?

She was stressed out change the subject(sometimes saying something totally crazy and nonsensical), and get her out of that state, i told you sense of humor, getting her to smile etc.. Giving her SECURITY, that you are different form the exes and how you would have handle things in the "relationship if you were together" then rinse wash repeat...She probably stressed out cause she likes you, you had her, and she was scare of getting hurt again(like with the exes)... I am going for what i am reading from you... When women give you shit test "stressed out" you need to be center, solid, no reactive, and keep going with the game plan.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 10:38 pm 
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I was, but I did not close. Ok, hence the awkwardness after the stress. Roger. Thanks.
Going to continue to freeze her out for a couple of weeks, I gave her the signal she could contact me in a very casual way. Next date: kill it.

Thanks skills.

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