There are few things that I see people casually believe and they're wrong. So I just want to point them out with little explenation.

#1 The alpha never buys her anything.

This is false. You can pay for her and be alpha at the same time, it just depends on the circumstances. She may be totally broken down and stuff... What is important is that you should never buy her anything for the particular reason of impressing her, or if you suspect she's a gold digger.

#2 The alpha always smiles.

It is important to smile at the initial approach because it communicates friendlyness but after that she must earn those smiles and you should just smile when there is actually something to be smiled at. Otherwise you'll just come off as a clown. Important thing though to always smile when you jokingly push her. This will make sure that she doesn't get it the wrong way.

#3 The alpha never apologises.

False again. You must know that something that is not your fault is not something you should be apologising for. But if you accidently spill her drink or something like that it will come off as a real douche not to at least apologise for this. When definitely NOT to apologise: If you're trying to escalate and she stops you, there is nothing to feel sorry for, therefore you should NEVER get into apologising.

#4 Crossing arms is alpha

Sometimes it can be, but most of the time you should make your body language open. The more open you are the more vulnerable you seem, and it communicates that you do not feel fear.

#5 Not showing any interest whatsoever is alpha

You must know that if you do not show any interest, only always just push her, that will most likely not result in you getting in her pants. If you go too far you can come off as an arrogant douche, or scare her pretty ass off.

#6 The alpha is always in the middle

You should try to be as fun as you can, but be aware of your energy level. If it goes too high you can come off as a try-hard which is the complete opposite of alpha. Do not try to get in the middle, try to draw them around you instead.

These are just the few ones that first came into my mind. Anyone is of course free to add additional points.

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

I'd agree with a lot of what you say about these things.

I don't put much weight on the concept of "alpha" to be honest. I think a lot of the time people analyse it too much and try to define it right down to little things - like the examples you put above.

Personally, I like to keep the idea of "alpha" wide and basically treat is an attitude thing if anything. I just like to think that the "alpha" personality is basically one where I am comfortable with myself and essentially where I'm not fussed about what others think.

Yeah for sure.

There are certainly no hard-and-fast rules for being an alpha male. In fact, it's a pretty alpha trait to appreciate that all rules can be broken. For me, it really just comes down to trusting myself to be able to handle whatever life may throw at me.

Although, having practical tips on how to start embodying your inner alpha is a real boost. I like the list of tips Fisher, they are quite realistic and highlight some of the misconceptions of being alpha.

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Very few leaders apologize. I do not apologize.

Apologies take no real effort and do not compensate the other person for whatever was damaged or lost. In the vast majority of cases where someone apologies, that's all they get. In addition to to that, lots and lots of people screw up, apologize, and then do the same type of thing over and over again. Women are attracted to men who find another way to deal with mistakes than just spouting some words at them. They want men who take responsibility for errors they've made by a) not repeating the same errors, and b) giving back value to make up for it.

In addition to that, and this is something all guys can connect with.... How many times have you apologized for things and when a woman was at a later time in a bad mood started slamming you for those things you apologized for? As soon as you apologize for something, it's very often put on the list of things for her to be pissed about in the future because the apology doesn't really do anything at all.

Also, when you apologize, you're being emotionally filed in part by her to all of her experiences with apologizes. It also puts her in a position where's she's supposed to accept the apology and that pressure isn't fair in many cases from her perspective.

How many times have all of you been in a situation where someone really screwed up and someone apologized for it in front of a group of people and you could feel the expectation from them to accept it even though you didn't feel accepting it was the right thing to do? Lots of people play games with apologies by purposely screwing up, saying things that indicate they're weak screw-ups, and profusely apologize. They're manipulating the group of people to pressure the person who is effected to publicly forgive...let it slide. I'm sure you've all met people who break all statistical likelihood for screwing up almost on a daily bases AND keep getting away with it by maneuvering people into accepting an apology.

If, instead of that, you're known as a guy who consistently and automatically makes up for anything he'd damaged or broken inside of a woman's boundary, you'll set yourself clearly apart from the 95%+ of guys who keep screwing up and apologizing for it.

A good example of this is by paying attention to public figures like Presidents. Presidents do not say "i'm sorry" when something doesn't work out. Instead, they'll say something like "mistakes were made and {whatever} is being done". Whenever a politician slips up and apologizes, his opponents are all over that display of weakness like a pack of wolves.

There's always a better way to take care of a situation than apologizing.

I also do not accept apologies that are the normal ones...the "i'm sorry, forgive me" and that's it type. For example, if I'm out meeting women and one turns biatchy on me (shait test), I pass by ignoring it, and she then apologizes, I require her to do something, like buying me a drink. There has to be value/effort attached to the apology.

You will find that when people KNOW that you're going to require value/effort as a price for screwups, you'll be amazed at how less often they screw up or jerk you around.

A good example that's directly attached to dating is that if a woman cancels a date on you, and she apologizes, she has to know she's going to have to make more effort in some way or some other form of compensation. If a woman cancels a date on me, I'll just pick something for her to make it up to me. Like, for example, telling her "i'm fine with it if X" which is something like "i'm fine with it if you cook a nice dinner at your place on Saturday night".

When someone takes value from me without permission, they have to give it back in some way, an apology is not enough and I do the same in return.

Interesting concepts. Little off the topic though. You mentioned not going for dates and well...things that are really screwed up. I thought it was evident that if something is screwed up then it has to be somehow compensated. But look I was talking about very little things like spilling a drink. Do you really think that something more than apologising and buying her spilled drink is required? I still consider it a polite thing to do. Also, as you've said, we're socially conditioned to accept an apology, but I think we're also conditioned to EXPECT an apology from someone who did anything wrong. I definitely did not state there to always apologise for everything... I just said, that never is a bit too extreme.

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

I agree with you 100%. But as far as I see in my post there is no definition of alpha, just a few situations that can help eredicate misconceptions about alpha behaviour.

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

I was explaining why *I* never apologize and giving examples of why leaders and positions are trained to not do it as well as explaining my compensation as a replacement for apology.

And, no, I don't think that for a spilled drink anything more than another drink is required as long as nothing has been damaged. I would say something like "wow, it must be my clumsy day" and buy a new one. I wouldn't say "i'm sorry, I'll buy you a new one". It's not necessary except that higher status people (bad ones) tend to want people to apologize which has become a form of social conditioning.

When a person wants someone to like them very much they'll often apologize a lot. This is because that's what a person of lower status is expected to do when dealing with (what they perceive to be) a high status person in our society as well as some others. The apology itself is meaningless beyond the conditioning to show the person as lower status.

This sort of thing can be proven as well. Go up to a group of HBs who are obviously used to being treated as high status and find/create opportunities to apologize for things. For example, if they seem to object to you joining their group, apologize for it. The girls will cool off fast and start treating you as a low status loser. Do the same thing with another group of HBs without the apologies, just shrug if you make cocky comments and they call you a jerk or whatever. They'll throw more shait tests at you instead of cooling off.

The only difference in those cases are about whether you are flying the low status apologizing banner or not. Apologies are not always indicators of lower status, but if you do it when you first meet women they've already got the low status category ready for you.

I'm all fine with people apologizing, I'm just saying it's absolutely unnecessary and that there are always better ways of taking care of situations where you've damaged something that's inside someone else's boundary. ie: never apologize for something inside my boundary and compensate if it's something inside their boundary.

Don't get me wrong Fisher. I'm not criticising your opening post, I said I agree with most of it. I was just adding my own two cents about what I think about alpha, especially as my opinion seemed to fit in pretty well with what you posted.

Most of what you say is bang on - there are too many thoughts and theories about it that get too deep and, as you've said in the first post, a lot of them are either rubbish or meaningless. That's why I like to keep it wide and a "frame of mind" type thing rather than use any of the criteria you criticise in your opening post.

I think you could draw up a whole lost like yours not just for "alpha", but pick up in general. Sometimes it all gets too overthought and detailed when the main thing to take away from it is stuff about general attitude and confidence.

That's exactly how I think. You see...I think at least 80% of the posts are about either "There is this girl..." or "Would this work?" And people just don't seem to realise that we can't get them the girl, and we can't tell whether something would be congurent with them or not. Because...We sure can tell him few things to watch out for when he's with "the girl" but usually it's already sooooo fucked up from the inner part of his game that it's useless. And if it weren't fucked up then our help was not even necessary. The other "would this work?" kind of topic is just pure ignorance. Why don't they just go out and try? This perfectly demonstrates the attitude of the majority of forum members. They don't want to learn by experience, they want the community to teach them everything, and then they'd go out and would never fail...or that's what their limited mind expects.

My topics are usually about concrete detailed situation in my relationship. I read the answers, understand them, and select what I found useful and congurent with myself. My other topics are usually kinds of this but what I make sure when I create a topic every time, is that others can learn from it too. So my point is that people should understand that what they need to internalize is "General Ideas" but you can only get there by understanding concrete situations, and most preferably from first hand experience.

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

I get what you're saying. You're all correct. We're pretty much saying the same, the only problem is that I failed to explain when is it okay to apologise in a way that would both make sense and be correct at the same time.

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

Very very true. As far as why they don't just go out and try, they need to work on training their minds to push the edges of their comfort zones. The unconscious wants to play it safe unless it KNOWS that pushing the edge is fine in modern society where it's relatively safe, unlike less civilized times where pushing the edge could have very serious consequences.

For instance, even as recently as the Wild West days, being cocky & funny and wandering from saloon to saloon scooping women wouldn't have been very wise. Eventually, an early dirt nap would be the result.
VERY NICE! Approaching from both ends, abstraction (general) and concrete (details) means more success than the sum of 1 +1. Internalizing methods of being able to switch the levels of concrete & abstraction means that a person is able to actually apply both of them and understand concrete situations which helps to support and internalize general ideas/beliefs.

Yes, we are all agreeing with different forms of communicating it. And, it wasn't a failure, you were keeping it short and sweet which is very useful.

I'd also like to add that all your other points are well inside of my own beliefs, especially the #2 misunderstanding The alpha always smiles. That one is flat out wrong and can really screw up the actual results men get.

What's important is that the "Alpha" should be feeling neutral or in a good mood unless there's a very very good reason not to (an immediate REAL threat, for example). Smiling DOES NOT necessarily equal HAPPY and this may be where some of the confusion and misunderstanding comes from.

Excessive smiling mostly signals "I'm not a threat" and is the primary reason generally women smile much more strongly (expansively) than men do. This happens in all cultures and isn't due to social conditioning.

Women are more attracted to men who smile less often and less expansively (Eastwood in The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly for example) than men who have big goofy smiles all of the time.