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I have a question for Jsmooth and any other very experienced guys. I consider myself a fairly successful internet dater so the answer to my 2 questions are not going to be obvious to the newer guys, as if they were I would have figured them out
question #1
I often get a post-date, same night text after an ok date. By Ok date I mean some attraction but no f-close, or obvious great compatibility. But not a shitty, short no interest date either. In other words something around the majority of dates.
So the text is normally something like "I had a great time tonight, thank you!"
Now when I knew a lot less I took this as a good sign. Over time I realize there isn't a positive correlation between this type of text and my ability to get a second date or f-close.
I used to respond with "Me too, thanks" but that of course is incorrect as im buying into her frame and letting her lead.
Ive recently used ":-)" (ambiguous kinda like the MM "respect" thing) and no response for a couple days which I think is a much better response.
My question is, I know experienced guys get these same texts and I want to know how they deal with them considering these kinda average dates. Some advice based on experience would be appreciated.
Ok ill ask question 2 later which is more advanced and longwinded, i'm getting fatigued now.
There are some things in PUA that I completely disagree with, and there are others that I have found some truth in. In the 4 years I've been out there working on this stuff and teaching it I've found certain things work better than others as you have.
First of, I think you are overthinking the response to her message. You aren't buying into her frame you are simply being polite and agreeing with her that you had a good evening as well. This does nothing to lower your value or screw up the frame with her. She thanked you first, it doesn't hurt to reciprocate those feelings.
Secondly, I'm not a fan of the wait to call or text someone. Waiting 2 days a lot of time has the opposite effect as messaging someone the next day. Let me explain my reasoning on this. She goes out with you and she has a great time. She's in a great mood because of it. She texts you she had a good time. You send her a message saying the same or a smiley back...
The next day she's still thinking about the good time she had with you, and is probably curious when you two are hanging out again. The iron is still pretty hot to strike it and get things heated up again.
The day after that she's starting to wonder why she hasn't heard from you yet but is still hoping she talks to you soon. Still not a bad time to message but not as good as the next day.
The 3rd day...she's starting to write you off.... Things are starting to go stale.
In the day in age we live with that includes instant gratifaction in all kinds of forms men and women are naturally wired to respond to it. So when you call or text her on the next day she buys into it and is happy again.
Just my 2 cents... Look forward to question 2.