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i'm gonna get flamed for this...
but men and women can't be friends, without eventually one wanting to fuck the other, if not both.
it's just the way it works.
if my girl wanted to hang around with dudes, i would break up with her and move on.
lol, let the flaming begin...
I agree. And would also like to add that if a woman has a lot of single male friends, then they are made up of guys that have banged her, are banging her, and those which are trying to bang her. This a huge red flag, for the above reason, and also because it indicates she has a huge need for male attention, more than one man can give.
And to the original poster, there is no easy way to handle this and no alpha way to handle this. There is only the option to leave or give an ultimatum. If you can't deal with this problem, you might consider leaving, because this problem with happen again and again, and you will end fighting the same fight over and over, every time some ex decides to check up on her status.
As for the ultimatum, if you decide to stay, you must put your foot down and tell her to change her number or block their calls and texts somehow. This may make you seem weak, but you would also seem weak if you did nothing while other guys were trying to bootycall your girlfriend. It's a lose lose. And again, if your not that invested in her and it bothers you that much, you should probably find someone else, because this problem will never go away.
This is that grey area, where conquering one's insecurities meets upholding one's boundaries. You shouldn't be overly jealous, but you should enforce respectful behavior in a relationship. You shouldn't seem possessive, but you shouldn't allow inappropriate interactions with past partners. You shouldn't show you care too much, but you should care if you are being disrespected. It's a no win situation. Depending on interpretation, you are right and wrong no matter what you do.
It's an awkward situation and there is no easy answer to this.
Thank man. It is definitely a grey area. That I hate. When we got back together I put my foot down. I told her that has to stop. And it seems like it has. But honestly I think the only reason it stopped was because while we were seperated I had some girl that my current girl is jealous of all over me.
Do you feel like confronting these guys is an okay thing to do if they continue? Or does that devalue me?