So, I had two dates with this girl I like and I think she might be good relationship material. We met online. She explicitly told me that she's looking for "just friends", but I don't go too deep into finding the meaning of this. She's not from the US, so I translate that as "first friends then lovers".

So anyway, we had our first date, the conversation was great. We had something to eat and went to a bar, I started kino on her and tried to kiss her, but she said "nooooo". Everything flowed naturally btw, we were just enjoying our company a lot. Fine, I smiled and continued as not much happened.

After that I texted her if she wants to go out and she was busy, so I chilled and texted her something that wasn't related to going out and stopped. Two days later she sends me some text for something and says that she's free that night. I'm busy though. Anyways in one or two days we schedule again and go out - we went to a park and after that went to some cheap place to eat. This date was lighter kino, just touching her and I didn't go for kissing her, because I don't want her to think that I'm some horny animal that can't control himself and disrespects her (maybe that's my mistake, but that's how I felt).

Now I texted her and tried to schedule with her again, but she was busy. I sent her some random question and she hasn't replied for more than a day so she might be ignoring me now. Very weird.

How do you deal with frustrations like that? I don't like to be ignored by some girl I shared a good time with. I know that she doesn't own me anything, but I want to improve my inner thinking about this situation so that I don't give as much shit as I do.

Other than that, what's your opinion on how to proceed with a girl who has this weird "friends only" policy. I think I'm going to push and if something happens good, if not I'm definitely not going to linger around with her as a friend - I hope she realizes how ridiculous this is for a guy who tried to kiss her.

Don't worry about the just friends thing right now.


As far as the texting thing goes, what did you text her? in many cases when someone gets a text that has little importance, if they don't have time to answer there's a good chance they'll forget.

I like opening texts with something funny or intriguing that doesn't require a response.

try texting something like "was just reminded of you" that's going to capture her interest and you'll have a higher likely hood of getting a response.

when you do get a response "really? what?" start your normal thread don't tell her right away. (this keeps her interested in the convo and we all know anticipation is good)


Best of luck

_________________
"J, I guess yer so amazing in bed you send the girls into a transcendent state where they realize their own mortality and are shaken by the realization that their presence bears little impact on the universe, or they just realized they hate you"
-DJ_Z

The 'friends only' policy is just another barrier to overcome. Think about why you would only be her friend. If you actually think about it, to escalate from the friends category to the next, you have to be special.
For me, most of my ex's had a friends only kinda thing. When I proved i was special, they started to like me because i was 'different'.

As for the chasing bit, i wouldn't recommend it. I mean, if she already feels uncomfortable kissing you, then chasing would kind of make it worse most of the time.

"Friends only" is a logical rule with justifications for that logic, there's nothing logical about a girls mindset when she's really attracted to someone. No matter what the reason for the friends only policy she will reason herself around it.


Just don't get caught up on it.

_________________
"J, I guess yer so amazing in bed you send the girls into a transcendent state where they realize their own mortality and are shaken by the realization that their presence bears little impact on the universe, or they just realized they hate you"
-DJ_Z

I asked her how often does she go to some class, yeah not an important question or anything, she might not have time to answer that if she has one of those phones where texting is not easy .

Well if I don't chase her, how am I going to close with her then? The way I see it, I should be chasing her, just not in some clingy way, as in texting her every day "let's go out, let's go out".

Don't chase her that will scare her away. Just have fun with her get close, kino, things like that. Be that attractive friend. But don't chase her let her chase you.

_________________
"J, I guess yer so amazing in bed you send the girls into a transcendent state where they realize their own mortality and are shaken by the realization that their presence bears little impact on the universe, or they just realized they hate you"
-DJ_Z

Your idea to push and see if something happens is a good one. The quote above is junk, and a useless justification. (Vitamin-J seems to have the rest of this topic handled, so I just want to make a remark on this.)

One of the things that women want is a man that's dominant. That means that when you want something from her, you go for it. Don't control her or push her into things. A no is a no, and anything further than that is rape. But as Gunwitch says "MAKE her say no". By demonstrating what you want, you make your intentions clear, and no one is going to get confused or hurt later on.

And I don't just mean try to kiss her once every date. Keep going for it until she either agrees it's a splendid idea, or tells you that she never wants to see you again (which has happened many times, then the next day she'll call you over to have sex, so don't take it too seriously).

As for her thinking that you're a horny animal, sadly, media already tells society that that's all men are. Do men want sex? Definitely. Do women want sex? Definitely. But men get the shaft in the world's new definition of gender "equality" and we are portrayed as bad because of our sexuality. So "horny animal" is already associated with you, even if you're the Pope, just because you're male. (Thee are girls who are exceptions to this, but very very few. How many women that you know don't listen to pressure from media, magazines, girlfriends, movies, etc? Maybe .00000001%. Maybe.)

So what does all this ranting mean? Go for it. Pull the trigger. Every time you think "should I do sexual thing X?" such as kissing, do it. If she tells you to back off, back off for a bit, then try something else in five minutes or less (We're talking kino and kissing here, not groping or fingering every five minutes). If she says get away from her, get away from her. Respect her. Always respect the woman. But make sure your intentions are clear by actions, not words, and know that the best way to respect a woman is to give her what she is looking for, which in most cases, is a man who understands and does the above things.

_________________
Jazzy Jeff: "My love for you is like a river,
Like a summer breeze that makes my soul shiver,
One look from you is more precious than gold,
Let's grab some BBQ and go get busy!"