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[/b]- I feel like I'm too polite when I talk to people. It's all meaningless small talk that doesn't go anywhere interesting.
How do I start a conversation about something interesting? How do I keep a conversation going? Essentially, I want to talk about things other than the weather, or directions, the city, etc.
Polite is probably inaccurate. "Boring" probably describes your situation better. I've followed your posts before . . . you're conflict-averse; you tend to run from it. This is something you'll want to think about on your own. What type of conflicts in the past created negative emotions and negative outcomes? Try to separate past experiences that might warrant conflict aversion to what's going on NOW.
Because NOW, a little conflict can be a source for humor, drama, and it can be a great way to engage others in conversation and gain more interest. Why do girls watch the TV shows they watch? What's in it that grabs their attention? For now, I'd say that the conversation topic is not as important as the way you approach it:
The weather:
"Beautiful day isn't it?" "Yes, it's nice." "I like the sun." "Me too."
or
"Whoa, don't you know about the dangers of UV rays?" "Your back looks like it needs another coat of sunscreen, here let me help you."
or
"I prefer the rain." "When I was a kid, I'd ask my folks to make big splashes with the car. They never did. Now that I'm all grown up, I'm free to make all the splashes I'd like. I suppose you could call me the Prince of Splash. No . . . make that the king of splash . . "
or, or, or . . . you're a writer, right?
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- I feel like I come off too young when I talk to people. This is a strange problem, maybe it's my voice? I think people see me as very innocent and young, perhaps not very dominant or alpha.
How do I come off as more dominant/leading/alpha to new people I meet?[/b
Disregard ^this. You're not trying to run a corporation nor are you trying to run for public office. You're trying to make friends and fucking a few of them.
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- I sometimes feel like I'm restraining myself or holding myself back. I hesitate in giving my opinion, saying a joke, or making an observation. I tend to 'go with the flow'.
How do I let myself loose and be more present? I want to be able to just say what is on my mind without thinking about it.
- The classic: I feel like I'm not funny enough. I seem to lack personality when I'm talking to people I don't know; it's all so polite and formal sounding... I want to be able to crack jokes and make other people laugh. I tend to be the 'funny one' among my friends, but around people I'm not comfortable around I hold myself back.
How do I get to be more funny around strangers?
By accepting that you won't befriend them all. Accept that you won't make everybody laugh. You're not going to fuck the whole campus. Again, you're not trying to collect votes for a public office. Even the best comedians experience dead nights and the most consistent pick up guys experience 'humiliating' blow outs.
If you read the newbie section enough, you'll see that it's the guys who have the least to protect(reputation) who are the most worried over protecting it. They had/have no girlfriends, they have little social life . . . and they're so worried about protecting THIS IMAGE? Of course this leads to outward behavior that hinders new friendships so the cycle just continues. Think about this cycle a bit and try to identify the easiest thing to change. What is your 'way in'? Can you tell yourself, "don't worry, don't worry, don't worry. . ."? Or is it easier to accept any and all potential consequences, both positive and negative, and change your physical behavior? Just crack the freakin' joke. It's a joke, not a medical decision in an operating room.