| Went out again tonight. Turns out that the spanish salsa club down the block has a gay night every sunday. Mostly a dominican or black crowd....definitely not a hipster joint(ie i'm waaayyyy out of my comfortzone...Me to DJ, "what? no arcade fire?" DJ, "Que"
I wasn't feeling it but decided I need to open my mouth...Just get talking to people and maybe i'll be able to keep talking to people....so...
#1-5$ cover, no one in line behind me, VGL6 working the rope.
VGL-$5
ME- 5$, that's what I charge for a kiss
VGL-oh really
me-yup, but i have to go inside...see you later and maybe you'll get a kiss
inside, i introduced myself to the promoter, chatted him up and headed inside.
I walked into the club with my head up, chest out and what I hope was an easy smile. As I made my way through and around the club, got the lay of the land, I saw a few guys that were OBVIOUSLY there alone.....that's me I thought, FUCK!, that's me.....no social value at all....
I went to the bar just for something to do, to regroup.
Beer in hand, I waded into the crowd and spied a girl on a bench( sorry egofear, I don't convert on this one) and opened with my name.
I fluff talked about some shit and must have been charming. she grabbed my arm and dragged me to the bar to meet her friend. I now felt like I had some momentum, so i opened the 2set next to me. To be honest, I can't even remember how it went down...
So...from here on out I think i did some things right....and actually talked to some guys....
#1) I arrived alone, so as I created social value, I didn't waste it. After I met the two girls, I quickly opened the 2set directly over my shoulder, just how mystery says to do it. One of them was an easy VGL7 or so...the other guy was older.
I was sort of nervous so the whole interaction is a little blurry because I was still excited about just not being on the side lines and actually opening people.
It was a perfectly nice convo, found out they weren't together by saying, "you guys are sooo cute together, when are you getting married" they laughed and said they were just friends.... but i forgot to kino, i didn't lock-in, and at some point, just smiled, said thanks and bounced.
#2)on the dance floor with my 2 new friends. 3 set with 1 target. Both the target and his friend had their cell phones out. Over my shoulder I started shouting my number at him, he looked up, i smiled, he smiled, so i leaned in and said,
"you were asking for my phone number....444-444-" He is smiling "wait"...while he switches programs on his phone to get to the key pad..."okay, what was it" I give it to him.
"What's your name" I ask...I get his. I ask him to introduce me to his friends, which he did....but I blew it...didn't even engage with the target....true, it's probable that the VGL doesn't speak English, but really that's just a bull-shit excuse.
I should have used the number gambit on the target, he had his phone out...or I should have started a new thread, then tapped his phone and said, "hey, pay attention"
and finally
#3) Giant failure....over the shoulder,
Me: I don't know if that shirt is working for you
VGL6: what????!!!
Me: yeah, I don't know if black and white plaid thing is working for you....
and it all went wrong...I guess neg came out as totally harsh or at least, he thought so, he practically cried on the dance floor. however, this lead me to my first experience in controlling the frame.....
So I'm leaving with Christine, headed home after a fun night. We are out on the street and i'm talking with the promoter when uglyshirt comes down. for whatever reason, I re-engage with this person, mostly, i was gonna try and compliment him. Remember, I opened him because I thought he was cute. Big mistake. Next time I'll leave a blow-out alone.
So i've got uglyshrit flinging shit at me now, but i'm deflecting his negative energy, I turn to him and say "I was trying to hit on you, but it came out wrong, my bad"; i'm acting cool in the face of his bitch-attack. At that moment, the 3 set i had opened with left the club....Frankie, the guy i #closed and his two friends were also friends with the promoter.....I'm all, "by Frankie" and we're all exchanging hugs and I get come comps to party later on in the week....meanwhile uglyshirt is still fucking yapping at me....until the bouncer told him to please step back.....
By controlling the frame,
1) even though I insulted this guy, he's the one that looks like an asshole
2) being calm and collected, I looked like a good guy, never let your anger get the better of you
3) I don't know what, I still have a lot more to learn about controlling how I frame my own world, let alone affecting the frame of others....oh, yeah, if you are cool in the face of danger(or at least an enraged queen), people will invite you to their parties!!!
Thoughts anyone?
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