Hello Crimefridge,
I really hope you'll find all of the stuff you need to grow on this forum - I know I hope to do the same.
Don't feel bad about about your AFC status and lack of experience. In fact I am only one year younger than you and am at pretty much the same level. I'd recommend you accept your situation and try to realize that you cannot go any lower. After you get that, starting to try stuff out in field will still feel daunting but at least you'll have something to keep you going.
I really hope you'll stop using those mind altering substances you mentioned, since self control and the ability to face yourself is part of the game. I think you used them to escape from your
perception of you life. So let me tell you that you can change - if you're wiling to put in the time and effort.
Now... for some tips to get you started. First of all - keep reading more books. There is a Sticky in one of the sub forums that contains some really good recommendations on what you should read next.
Building confidence on a budget? Well.... try going out first - for no reason that just walking around. Look at people - see if they look at you. If that makes you feel uncomfortable, keep reminding yourself that they won't give you a second thought, they have their own problems, etc... Then in time, as you get used to going out more and more, start saying hello to people. You will feel discomfort, so always ask yourself - would I rather be where I was before, or would I rather change?
Good Luck! And don't think most people here don't read posts
Black Jack