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however I am still a virgin,
I'm trying to remember why I lost my virginity. To what extent was it due to my own effort, and to what extent was it luck? I remember that in 6th grade, a reasonably good looking girl got a crush on my on my 1st day of school, so I knew I couldn't be completely ugly. Totally botched it but eh I was in 6th grade. I remember by the time I was 16 I was making an effort to hit on girls. Generally failing, I don't remember getting a date out of any of it, but nevertheless I kept trying.
At 17 I entered an art contest and this girl had volunteered to receive the artworks. I think she liked my work and she liked me. I hit on her and we went out. We fell for each other pretty quickly, I'd say it was one of those near-instant attraction deals. She happened to be sexually experienced, she was 1 year older than me. So after about a month I found myself fumbling through my first oral sex and then my first full-on sex. I initiated it, as I was a horny bugger, but there wasn't a lot of resistance because she'd done it plenty of times before. I didn't know that at the time, as initially she pretended to be a virgin and I didn't know any better. We were an item for about 5 months until I had to move to London. If I hadn't have moved, we would have broken up anyways as things had gotten rocky. I didn't understand how or why it got rocky at the time, it just did. Some kind of clash of personality probably. She went off to college in the fall and sent me a Dear John letter from there. Oh well, we were separated by an ocean anyways.
I didn't get any when I was in London. Maybe it was the disruption of having to figure out a new social situation. I wasn't socially all that adept and it took me all year in high school to figure it out. Then, just as I had it figured out, everyone graduated and scattered to the four corners of the globe.
Losing my virginity at 17 may have partially been luck. I was trying, but running into the right girl seemed to be a bit of an accident. Art really helped me out here. Even nowadays, I keep forgetting that Art is probably my best chance of getting laid. I should probably give myself more credit, but still, it seems like there was only a 50% chance that I would have lost my virginity at 17. On the other hand, maybe London really wasn't any good for me as far as getting laid. Maybe if I had stayed put in the USA, I would have figured everything out by the time I was a senior and gotten laid. Or maybe not. No question that London was better for my life overall though.
As a freshman in college, I can't remember exactly, but I think I had a few one night stands. There are so many sexually active women in a co-ed dorm that I think a person would have to be pretty darned klutzy not to lose one's virginity then. I wasn't wildly successful with the ladies, but I was making an effort, and I ended up with a girlfriend my sophomore year. I was physically attracted to her, and she had a great brain, but I'd be lying if I said she was my physical ideal. This was a tension for me in the 1.5 years I went out with her. One time I briefly broke up with her, but I didn't seem to have the game to do any better, so I quickly got back with her. Eventually I broke up with her for good because I thought our social life had become completely stagnant. All we did was play games on the computer. It wasn't enough and I wanted out. I was conscious of just how nerdy and stunted a life I was living. Without her, I didn't manage to get anyone else, but I did go back to trying.
Looking back, I conclude:
- Sheer brute force will get you laid in a college dorm.
- Sheer brute force might get you laid in high school.
Didn't know anything about PUA back then. Just the traditional male drill of trying and failing hundreds of times.
The commuter college experience is rather different. If you're not actually living with other students in a dorm, it's a hell of a lot harder to socialize. I've heard of people becoming very lonely going to a commuter college. I would not recommend it.