Okay, so in order to understand this advice, you need to know some background.
When I was in high school, I would ask girls out on dates, but i got rejected quite a bit.
I didn't do anything crazy, just normal; "wanna come hang out on friday?" kinda stuff.
It took me years to figure out that I shouldn't be asking girls out, but rather telling them to come on a date like; "come clubbing with me and your friends on friday at state."
Once I started doing that, I was actually shocked that I got more dates than rejects. Even better is that it works on guys and my co-workers as well, since if state what I want, and what I want you to do, then more times than not you will do it. Because telling someone what you want and what you want them to do, shows leadership and confidence.
But you should know that you will get rejected, because there are gonna be some girls out there that are just not interested in you. I didn't say it was perfect system, it's just a good system if you have confidence.
So just remember, don't ask the bitch, tell the bitch.

Agreed totally.

I advise guys all the time on that same point-never ask!

But that's also common knowledge in the PU commnity.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM

Yes in pickup and in sales asking a question with a yes/no answer is only used to build rapport. In a situation where you have to ask I use a statement of invitation instead of a question. Questions are weak sauce.

_________________
You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

Here's a little technique I use when I absolutely HAVE to ask a question.

Make a statement, followed with "yeah?"

For example:

"American Idol ( ) is on at 8 tonight, yeah?"

It works fantastically well.

That's an awesome trick that I use in sales all the time. I have almost completely removed questions from my speaking. If I need specific information from an employee I don't even ask a question I just state "Tell me _____". An example can be found in the music game in MM. Mystery says something along the lines of "My favorite band is _____. Now it's your turn".
This expresses far more confidence and value than "My favorite band is enya. What is you favorite band? "

I would appreciate if some one here on here who is well versed in speech tonality that can confirm or reject the concept that the raise in the pitch of your voice that signifies a question may be feminine and submissive by nature.

_________________
You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

I am going to post that last bit on the voice tonality forum to start a new thread since it is off topic.

_________________
You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

Stating is great because it is decisive, however, stating things in the form of question is far far better in our reality. If you walk up to someone and say "We are going to dinner tomorrow night at 8.", it will sound entirely different then if you say hey "Care if we go to dinner around 8?". The decision isn't the dinner but the time. You can still make it a question, the point is to make the time a question rather then the activity.

Example:

"Would you choose to go to dinner at 8 or 9?"
"Would you choose to go to the movie at 7:45 or 9?"
"Would you prefer to go to dinner at 8 or the bar at 8?"

You aren't asking whether she wants to go to dinner, the bar, or a movie, the time is the question, because of this you give them a choice. You don't give them choice about anything other then time or location, but people still love their free choice. The point is limiting their choices to things or times you can do things easier.

People hate being told what to do, but if you state things in the form of a question you will get a lot more from someone.

Note: "Would you choose" will get you a yes more often then "would you like to".

I am looking at persuasion in general though. When you go to persuade someone, the questions is never whether it is going to happen but the when/where(limit the times as well). If you limit the questions to answers that fall in your favor.

In short when you ask questions about meeting or whatever, ask in a way that they fall in your favor regardless.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

I find that whether you ask or state doesn't change anything.

When you make a statement though some girls will like the dominance, some won't. Some girls actually take the invitation as validation, they feel pleasure by saying "No".

So, the solution is DON'T SUPLICATE.

I think it's better to pump up her buying temperature so high that she's craving for you to invite her. Then you CHALLENGE her:
"It's a shame we won't be able to continue this adventure. I have to go now.".

Then SHE will propose something:
"No! I think we should meet tomorrow for X.".

Then she thinks it was all her idea and it really reduces flaking. See?

_________________


"Their compliance is,
'Does she grab your hand?' F*ck you! I want to grab her mind. If I can
grab her mind, she'll be grabbing whatever I want, any way I want her to." - Ross Jeffries

You could do, but to me it feels a bit like your running a routine. And I really hate routines cause it's hard to be yourself when running a routine. And I think that being yourself, direct and confident is the best natural game.

I definitely agree that if you haven't already established that you are the leader then you need to ask. It is important to IOD and IOI correctly to build compliance momentum for sure.
The method you describe is how I used to be so good at sales. Now I am exponentially better at sales because I define out relationship with my quality leadership and then tell them as the expert what they are going to do.
If you establish your leadership then asking questions and permission may even appear incongruent and start chipping away at the frame you created.

_________________
You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

Well you define yourself as an authority. There are several influences and persuasion techniques, these are the most known(in fact don't know of any others): Scarcity, liking, social proof, authority, commitment and consistency, and reciprocity. A good sells men uses them all.

The leadership you speak about is the fact that you and they consider you an authority on the topic. Most people do need to be told what to do, but they still need feel as if they are making the choice and not forced in to it.

Asking questions is never in-congruent, the correct questions will always be a necessity. The problem is when it comes to sells a lot of sells men do not ask the correct questions in the right way. The thing is even as an authority who tells someone what is best(as you should since you are the authority) you need questions.

Ok so lets look at it. A good sells men will show he's an Authority you Like. He will get you to start to say yes beginning with Commitment and Consistency. Do you agree with bla, then again you do it. Then you say well a lot of the people I see these days see it as this and this (Social Proof). After that they move on to tell you oh well we got a few of these but not in this color(Scarcity). At the end you realize he has given you some food and a drink, now you feel as if you owe him something(Reciprocity). You know how difficult it is to avoid a sells man that fulfills all of these influences? Nearly impossible.

I am sure you do more of these then you realize and I promise you understanding all of these will help you improve even more. I would probably be a phenomenal sells men, I just hate selling things I don't want and I am a simple man that doesn't want much. So convincing someone to buy something I don't want makes no sense, it wouldn't be congruent with who I am.

Well that is my take on it. What is funny is we use all of this in pick up, half the people just have no clue.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

I like that post, bro. I see what you are saying now and it is going to help me in my game. Leadership may work best in my career but I am doing myself a dis-service by limiting the colors on my palette. I have perhaps spent way too much time sharpening one tool and maybe it is time to grow a bit. I just got comfortable because it has worked so well. THx

_________________
You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

Check out the book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Ciadini

Should be incredibly useful for any sells men.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

I am not, but I have a really good ear and I assure you it is not. Rising pitch at the end of a sentence indicates a question. How you are speaking, your delivery, is what makes the "question" sound dominant or submissive. You can ask a "question" without it really being a question, more like a perfunctory addition of syntax to pretty much a command you just gave. Especially if you don't actually wait for a response or leave any room for it. "Dinner at 8 at Sully's, yes? They have really good clamato juice, you'll love it." Technically she could answer "no" but you haven't actually left her the structural window to say "no," you didn't wait for her opinion to confirm that everything's ok. Of course you will want to get a "yes" out of her sometime, lest she fall into silence and never actually plan to go out with you! But it can happen later, all you need to do is sanity check that she actually understood and is on board with the plan.

I think a huge part of "almost" giving a command is that you've done the planning and decision making already. You've avoided the dreary subroutine of "So what do you wanna do?" "I dunno, whadda you wanna do?" "Whatever is fine with you." "I'm fine with anything." "So what should we do? Umm." This isn't leadership and it's boring. I don't actually have a problem handing a gal the reins if she yanks them away from me in a productive manner, I'm not going to fight someone to make sure it's my decision. "So, dinner at Sully's at 8, yes? Their calamari is to die for." "No, I really want pizza at Coporcino's." "Corpocino's it is then! See you at 8." It's not important whether it ends up being your leadership or her leadership, what's important is that there is leadership and that by default it's your leadership. You're going to get this shit happening, that's Alpha behavior. Notice also that even though she changed the venue, you finished by commanding the time. If she didn't have a reason to object to the time, then you might as well finish with it as a command. Your final confirmation of what's going on can be issued as a command.

Oh BTW this is not advanced material, this is rather basic. How do I know that? Because I'm not a PUA. I have only a rather basic knowledge of tools and techniques and I knew this one. One of the first ways out of AFC behavior is learning and embracing that it's actually ok to order women around, that you do not need their stamp of approval on everything. It doesn't really make you a creep or an asshole, as at a subliminal level they sort of like it. Nor does it mean you have to insist on unwavering domination and control at all times. It just means you are setting a default pattern of sending decisions at her, rather than a default pattern of of complying and waiting for her approval. The default pattern trains her, it conditions her expectations.

Also I think it should be realized, that if you end up dating the CEO of some corporation, or a lawyer, or a politician, or some other hard charging dominant gal, that you're simply not going to have dominance over her. If you are a strong and flexible personality yourself this is not going to matter. The point in this case is that you know how to make decisions and give them too. You are not AFC; this "technique" was about retraining how you act towards women. You will both have a jolly good time commanding this, commanding that. If you are King, don't be afraid of a Queen who is just as powerful as you are. She might actually be a good mark, because most men probably don't have the confidence to handle her.

i dont see how this is for advanced players....

but yeah, the best way to take things casual with a girl and score a date early on is to tell her, invite her to something you are ALREADY doing

however, the asking her out on a date is very powerful once she is already into you, in fact if you dont, she will most likely see you as a casual player and stop you form escalating


balance my friend, balance is the key

don be afraid to show interest

remember, the man can only go as far as the woman lets him, this is true no matter what, you can be the best PUA in the world and this rule still applies

_________________
"Be the change you wanna see in the world" -Gandhi