Week 1 Day 2 (Night Game) 8 approaches
I had done a shit job trying to approach during the day so I had to do some catching up. Aiming for 20 per week I was planning on doing 8 on night game.
My original plan was to do something I'd not really done before. Going in with direct to group openers. I've done opinion openers tons of times, but I've found they're less and less congruent with how I am and want to be. I feel starting a conversation off the back with 'Can I get your opinion on something' quite besides the point, even if I root it.
I walked ages round the block to try and get my head into it as I was nervous, but I eventually plucked up the courage to step into the first bar. My plan was to go straight up to the first group I saw with 'Hey you guys seem like fun', but I pussied out and decided to go straight to the bar and order a Guiness. From there I realised I was already a loner looking round the bar and not interacting with anyone, i.e committing social suicide. With that I decided I'd already made it more difficult for myself so I went straight upstairs. I pissed about with my phone pretending to look occupied by the toilets in a vain attempt to get my head into the game. The door opened to the upstairs bar and I noticed a 2 set of a 7 and a 8.5. I walked through the doors and straight up to them and said 'Hey you guys seem like fun, how's it going?' They were pretty weirded out by my approach but I carried on by introducing myself. They introduced themselves to me and I attempted to transition with the my opinion opener, 'Who do you would be the worst nannie, Britney Spears or Jordan?' We debated about it briefly but I could tell I was giving off a poor vibe, I was still nervous and not in state and not really knowing where to take the conversation next. The HB7 shit tested me by saying, 'That's not a good chat up line' I laughed nervously and said, 'Ha ha I like that.' In a shit attempt to be cool when in fact I came across like a flaccid penis. They both were giving each other the eyes indicating that both hoped I would leave. At that point I knew I'd lost the set. I left by saying, 'Have a good night'. In hindsight I would have done better with that shit test by saying, 'Wow that's assumptive of you. I'm not trying to chat you up, I don't really go for blonds.' But hey I'm out of practice and wasn't that practiced even when I was gaming consistently.
I decided to down my one solitary pint for the night (driving later) and leave the bar. That set made me a bit angry but I just reminded myself that it's all a learning curve. I'm back starting pretty much from square one again.
I decided to go to the big club Oceana-not my favourite place with the highest quality women in my opinion but good for practice as it is a big club with a lot of peeps. I walked in and approached the first set I saw. A big 6 set of Oriental HBs. I stepped in with the real simple high octane opener 'Wooo! Hey guys how's it going?' It definitely got their attention as they all looked at me and said 'Ok' but in the moment I didn't feel comfortable and know quite how to transition. I ended up ejecting very quickly and going to the toilets.
I walked out and saw a 2 set of one guy and a girl. I walked up to them and with a bit of a confused look on my face, which managed to get their attention. My mind had gone blank. I bullshitted by coming up with the first thing that came into my head, 'Have you guys seen a tall ginger guy and I short brunette with girl at all?' 'No not at all.' 'Oh I'm supposed to be meeting people in here but I don't know quite where they are, hey you know what, you guys will probably be good to ask this question. It's a bit random...' I then went on to the 2 part kiss opener. Things kind of dried up after that, I wasn't too interested in talking to that 2 set anyway. I ejecting and walked over to the a 3 set of HBs. I came in direct, 'You guys seem like fun, hows it going?' I had to repeat myself which killed the mood a little, I then tried to transition with, 'You seem like the evil one of the 3 that leads the others astray..' I don't think that is necessarily a bad transition but I said it without any kind of congruence and thus pretty much lost the set. I soon after that left the club. I wasn't really in state and hadn't done much to shout about. I couldn't think quite how to transition with the direct to group opener. I almost went straight home doing the classic I have done sooo many times since learning about this pick up thing. 'I'm gonna go home, buy some more material and learn yet again. I'm not quite ready for this yet.' For the about of material I have studied, I am more than ready and knew I was just coming up with excuses not to approach.
I slapped my inner twat and went to another bar. It was damn empty and there were like 2 groups in the whole place. I felt pretty uncomfortable but I found a shift in my thinking, I thought to myself, I'm having trouble because I'm going to these places thinking, 'I gotta run this stuff to impress a girl. What if I were with a group of friends, or what if I was simply trying to find a group of friends and I was simply on this to socialise?' I began by asking a guy with his female friend at the bar, 'Have you seen a tall ginger guy here with a brunette and 2 blonds?'-Bullshit question again, but internally i did feel comfortable using it. I didn't get into a huge convo with the guy but it seemed more pleasant to me. I left that place as it was empty and decided to return to the bar I originally entered at the beginning of the night.
This time my approach had shifted subconsciously and felt better about walking in. I walked to the bar still a bit reluctant to approach but I thought, 'This is a problem because I'm only speaking to people I'm attracted to and putting too much on the interaction emotionally rather than being social and speaking to everybody.' You can learn this shit and understand it but you can forget it internally unless go out and actually apply gaming for real. With that I saw an HB5 stood on her own with an empty glass of ice. 'What are you drinking?' 'Ice' 'Haha, nice work.' We ended up having light hearted banter talking about why I hate cider with ice and how she should never do it, to talking about where she's from and how it compares to Southampton (she was from Germany). I left and didn't want to carry n with the convo too much further but it was all natural and by far the best interaction I'd had all night. I think the big difference was the vibe I was putting out by not being outcome dependant with the aim of simply being social to everybody. I then walked past 2 guys. I wouldn't normally have bothered speaking to them, but with my shift in thinking I decide to through interest of being social. I stuck with the bull shit, yet functional, 'Hey have you guys seen a tall ginger guy etc.' That sparked a good conversation as I transitioned with, 'don't you hate when you're looking for someone and you can't bloody find them? How's your night going?' I left on my own accord after a pleasant chat and went upstairs. I walked straight into the upstairs bar which was a lot quiet than before and saw a guy with a female friend, the dude seemed quite alpha and not the sort of group I'd normally approach due to my inner wuss but with me being in a 'social' mood rather than a 'pick up' mood I went for it. 'It's pretty empty in here isn't it? Hey have you all seen a ginger guy etc...?' The girl started laughing saying he's ginger and I'm a brunette, we got 2 blond friends here too.' We all started laughing having more banter. We had a brief conversation about how each of our night was going and eventually parted ways but it was cool cause I definitely was liked by the group, alpha guy included. Back downstairs again and I saw a mixed 2 set (1 guy and HB8) sat at a table. I went with my functional 'Ginger guy' opener and it worked a treat, the guy wasn't too forth coming but that didn't matter at all because the HB was very talkative and we had a good interaction talking about what to do if she seems a tall ginger guy. I left the set but thought in my mind of lots of opportunities to run some attraction material that I think would have worked a treat. I could even feel a light element of tension between us. I think the quite guy was her housemate not her bf.
Pumped and in state I went outside in the smoking area and immediately opened what turned out to be a mixed Polish 2set. I ran the ginger guy opener which started the convo off a treat, transitioning with 'where you from?' because I detected an accent. We talked about Poland and Berlin in Germany. The Polish HB was definitely into me, dropping the IOI, 'Take me to Berlin with you!' 'Cool what are we gonna eat there.' 'Sausages!' 'Ooh, sounds kinky,
laughs' I linked the Polish 2 set with 2 guys by just hearing a guy behind me flicking his lighter. I said, 'I thought you were clicking your fingers demanding attention, just then. Haha, that would be the best way to start a conversation, simply click you fingers and say hey, I demand a conversation!' The guys laughed as well as the Polish 2 set and we all integrated as a group. I was fine with that, I wasn't into the girl she was nice and into me, but she was a 6 in my opinion and nice, but not my type. We all really got on and I was happy because I'd really managed to show some natural charisma having linking 2 groups and them both being interested in talking to me. I decided to leave as I felt I'd done my bit for the night. I'd done my 8 approaches, and though it was nothing amazing to ride home about, I feel I had learnt a valuable lesson internally based on real life experience, the best teacher of all.
I'm one of those people, I have read and learnt probably most of everything there is to learn about gaming but still have very little field experience in proportion to what I've studied. For all I may know, I've truly realised you only truly know it when you actually apply it for real in the field. That's why I've not been living the life I've wanted despite me knowing about this PU shit for years. It's nice to say I've finally started on the path of slowly turning it around
