At a party, sets go cold quick. why??



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 8:51 pm 
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So i have experienced it lots of times already and tried changing my approach but still no help.
If there is a set of 2-3 girls just standing in the middle of the dance floor i would go in and say:
"hey girls, what you aren't good dancers that you stand here like this?"
they usually say: "we are tired"
me: "already, was it like one hour dance lol"
them: "we are really hot in here and we just need to cool down a bit"
me: "okay that cool, is she always that crazy like that?" (point on target)
they give each other a look like wtf and say "yeah i guess.. she is really fun"
me: "well the reason im asking is because she always answers my questions first and she is really sweaty which means she has been dancing like crazy"
them: "hmm.. hmm.. ok" (they turn around look at each other and i feel like boom done.)

sometimes i get something but 7/10 times i dont.
i use opinion opener sometime and they just give a quick opinion and thats it..
how to i keep them interested in what i have to say? like what should i talk about after the opinion and a bit of teasing?


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:09 pm 
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if you approach them being a dick and they dont immediately seek your approval, then it's not the right approach.

if you approach a girl and ask "do you know why you suck" and she doesnt say "why"
but instead says "i don't suck, you're an idiot" then you pretty much blew the set.

try not coming on with such a strong negative tone. sounds like you tend to keep digging your hole deeper. "we're tired" usually means "we're not interested so go away"

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 6:39 pm 
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Your negs seem a bit too harsh, telling them they are sweaty and what not points out a problem they can't really solve at the instant. If I neg anyone I try to keep it about their attitude, hair or breath, (just offering them gum in the middle of conversation seems to work for me) these are things they can fix in a matter of seconds and not feel all self concious and what not for the rest of the night.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 10:51 pm 
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I agree. Don't neg on the opener. The opener should be neutral, fun, playful. Hook them before you start with the negs. Once you blow open a set with something neutral (it can really be anything as long as you have other material to roll right into), then select a target.

Judge the harshness of your neg based on your intuitive perception of her social value. If she's very beautiful and exudes dominance over other females, then she probably has very high social value and you know a more powerful neg/freeze out is in order. But after you do this, you need to be REALLY excellent - like run your best material to get her clamoring back in for attention.

If your target is plain looking or has a timid personality, then start with a very mild neg, like pointing at your chin like you're telling her she has something on her face. If this girl has lower social value, you will not need top notch material to keep the set.

In both instances, select your negs wisely and use them judiciously. If you go in negging and just continue to neg the group you'll be considered an asshole and they'll tell you to leave.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 9:41 am 
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I immediately see why you're getting a 3/10 chance of opening the set successfully.
Quote:
If there is a set of 2-3 girls just standing in the middle of the dance floor i would go in and say:
STOP! Take a step back and lets think into the psychology of where you are opening. At the dance floor everyone's energy levels will be sky high even if they are dancing or not, you will either have to leave people on the dancefloor because all they want to do is dance or go in and try to be compatible with their energy levels.
Quote:
hey girls, what you aren't good dancers that you stand here like this?"
Terrible opener however, if you took the neg out of it you probably would have more success. Say something a little more friendly such as "Hey girls, not everyday i meet someone in the middle of the dancefloor and they're not dancing." or "hey girls, why arent yous dancing" but you will need to be dancing a little, not only will this eliminate any cues that you're hitting on them it may also encourage them to dance with you. Women respond not to what you say but how the way you make them feel. Don't walk in the middle of the dancefloor and open, think about it - why would someone walk into the middle of the dancefloor to talk to a few girls when the dancefloor is there to dance? Simple, you are hitting on them. Just chance the structure a little and where you open and how you open and you'll do much better.
Quote:
them: "we are really hot in here and we just need to cool down a bit"
me: "okay that cool, is she always that crazy like that?" (point on target)
they give each other a look like wtf and say "yeah i guess.. she is really fun
There was no connection between what they said and your neg and that's why they gave a "wtf" look to each other. I would have responded with a little humour saying "well the dancefloor isn't going to cool you down haha" the negs can come later. Now this is where you got blown off thats why they took no interest in your next line, in their eyes it looks like you have intruded in their space primarily to insult them. Hence why I don't really follow MM, there's always that small chance you could accidentally insult them.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 11:00 am 
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I never approach on the dance floor.. i think its pointless, unless you want to dance with one thats been giving you the eye... no girl you'll ever see, will only be at the dance floor the whole time, so just be patient, and build social rapport while they're on the dance floor.. when they're off, you can go direct with a time constraint. be like "hey guys, i've never seen you around here before.. u seem like a cute group of girls so i thought i'd come over and say hi before i go find my friends." be really smooth when saying it, it will make all the difference.... and then you can go dance with them later on.. once they know that your naturally a socialable guy that wants to dance with them cuz they seem cool, and not because they're booties are shaking..


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