| This might sound dramatic, but anyone on these forums will know what I mean. I never thought I'd feel this kind of desperation again, I thought I'd concurred this part of my life. For the past 2 weeks, I've been trying to get girls numbers. Its not that I've even attempted and failed, but rather I haven't even attempted and therefor failed already.
I went through the hoops of learning to PUA over a year ago. For months, I read and read but just didn't have the guts to apply the theories. Finally, one day I just sat next to girl and talked with PUA methods interwoven into the natural conversation. I learned that when I'm not nervous I have a natural skill for conversation, and that made things much easier.
That was my game, and I had a lot of success. That first girl was so crucial, if she had gone the other way I think it would crushed what little confidence I mustered that night, and I'd have never attempted PUA techniques again. This girl was so much more beautiful than I thought any girl who would even consider me was, and it gave me an incredible shot of confidence. I was literally getting numbers from 90% of the girls I spoke to, and having sex with most of them. It was fun, but it got old(I'm interested in women still of course, I just want something more than hook ups). I took some time off from women and focused on work.
Now, a few months later, here I am again. I go out and sit alone at bars like I used to and have the constant inner dialogue of self doubt. What the fuck? I thought I beat this. Not only beat it, but kicked its ass.
I don't know what to do. The obvious answer is repeat what worked before, but that frst girl was truly spur of the moment. I went to the bar like I always did, and told myself I'd finally do an approach, knowing full well I'd chicken out again. But something that night just gave me the boost to do it, and from that positive experience I just went on momentum. It feels like I don't have the "boost" this time to do it again. And even if I do manage to give it another go, like I said if the first try goes badly I'm afraid I'll never try again.
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