Quote:
The issue you have is both subtle, maybe even so much that the untrained observer couldn't see it... and also so impact full that it governs not only our long term success, but also happiness and fulfillment.
In all my years in the community I have seen 1 and only 1 way to create a natural, and it is not the traditional path pickup artists take. Fake it until you make it is great, but it needs to be applied correctly. Studying all the routines, the body language, the tonality, the eye contact and on and on has its place... but it's completely backwards to fake this part first. If you do that your creating all the symptoms and hoping that the cause will appear, it just doesn't work that way. Ah but if you build a strong belief system and unshakable confidence first, then all the other things start happening as a symptom of this cause... that's how it works for naturals.
Like I said the untrained observer may not even understand this or see it, but to anyone who has some social calibration it is easy to see. Most people who go symptoms first have these frames that are so easily breakable... all you have to do is not play back and command control, instant frame change some guys fully drop posture eyes look down etc etc... and the better ones will only briefly do this and have an obviously fake smile forced on their face as they try to continue faking it and not letting whats going on inside show. But really if putting symptoms first provides a frame that is this easily broken:
Natural: "How old are you?"
PUAsymptoms: "How old do you think I am?"
Natural: "I dont play that game, how old are you?"
PUAsymptoms: -frame broken-
And you see some people might say that doesnt break a frame it just cracks it a little... but it doesnt work like that. The goal of these techniques is to mimic the frame a natural has... the issue with that is a naturals frame doesn't crack, it's them its who they are, the only way to break it is to actually mentally break them as a person (like a psychiatric breakdown)... anything short of that remains congruent... the second you lose congruency AKA your frame cracks, in this world were the social calibration of high value men was set by naturals of the past, that means you broke for some reason and are either a mentally ill (which we'll assume your not

) or you were faking... which if you felt the need to fake tells her on a subconscious and maybe even conscious level that you have very low value.
So why not learn the fundamentals first (beliefs and confidence) and then fine tune the outcomes. You wouldn't jump into algebra without knowing arithmetic hoping that once you know algebra that arithmetic part will take care of it self would you? So why do that in your social life?
Much love doc, i can agree with this 100% as i always do with your posts....
I know first hand that its about confidence, i joined the community a broken individual, looking for a false set of tools. Like most i thought, knowing routines and techniques would bring me to the top and overcome all and any issues.
Put it this way, i still have the original paper, that has the 5 routines i memorized, i have only used the routines on that paper a handful of times. I realized it had more to do with myself then what was actually being attempted.
know what i did? i let my balls drop, i found out who i am on a very deep and detailed level, i fell in love with who i was and discovering that i was never the person i thought i was. My self confidence grew, with my understanding that this is my reality and i wont play the fool, i wont be manipulated into a false sense of emotions by complete strangers.
Now i understand the process, and i still have not went back to that paper since the attempt of them a handful of times. I do very little approaching, im approached more often then not. My confidence is there, my nonverbal cues back that up. I dont worry about outcomes or others opinions, and like the doc said, a naturals game cant be broken because thats who he is.
its why i now teach about self confidence rather then the non essentials.
rep for the doc...