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So pretty much be a good guy but not a nice guy?
I think that this conclusion is either incorrect or the result of badly defined terms (possibly the fault of other people.)
Chief really nailed this one, I think. It's not about "niceness" or "goodness." "Stop being a pussy" is about as solid as advice can get. I have no intention of being less nice or less good. What I AM going to do is work on my inner game and the strength of my frame. I have an ambitious goal: When I
choose to buy a woman a drink, I want her to feel
grateful for the gift. The boldfaced terms are important here because without the right frame, when an AFC
panders to a woman by buying her a drink, she feels
contempt for the bribe. If I may be so brazen, I'd even suggest that, framed this way, the PUA is being more
genuinely nice than the AFC is.
Bonita mentioned the idea of audacity. I don't think that audacity has to be synonymous with meanness, rudeness, or being a jerk. Somebody else mentioned Ten Things I Hate About You, so I'll talk about that. The scene where Ledger's character sings "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" is audacious, but is not jerky in the slightest. I think that there are plenty of ways for a guy to be audacious that actually are fun for a lot more people than just the girl you want to impress. Bonus!