asking a girl how she feels about you



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PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:18 am 
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Say you have been seeing a girl who is somewhat interested in you and you're just not sure, is it too forward to ask her how she feels about you? Or should you yourself tell her how you feel about her then ask her how she feels about you.

By asking her first are you basically fucking yourself over by putting her in a defensive and vulnerable position?


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:34 am 
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Yeah, it comes off as a bit insecure. Just assume she thinks you're the shit, and if something is up with her, attribute it to something else. Be in touch with her feelings but never concern yourself with how she feels towards you. Unless of course you've done something to piss her off... besides that, if she has an issue, she will tell you - it's not your place to ask.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:50 am 
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I asked a few other forums where mainly girls answered, most of them said that if your confused about how you think a girl feels about you, just ask her straight up, and either get denied by her or not...rather than always questioning yourself.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:55 am 
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Still, I wouldn't ask. I'm very up front and honest so I'll tell a girl what I want and what I expect etc... if they don't feel the same way, they're always quick to let me know. I'd suggest that approach rather than asking her how she feels/what she wants, if that makes sense. It comes across as more self-assured, and is more attractive, while getting the same results. So, if she does feel the same way, she doesn't lose any attraction. ;)


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 7:24 am 
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Let me preface this by saying I AM a girl. ^__^

I agree with Solomon on this one. Asking is okay, but stating is better. Just say: "I'm into you. I'd like to take this further.' and lay it all out, clearly and honestly. It shows you're not afraid to say what you want and it's honestly very impressive.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 7:35 am 
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Alot of girls will say they would want you to do something,
But when you actually do it its a big turn off.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 10:49 am 
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Say you have been seeing a girl who is somewhat interested in you and you're just not sure, is it too forward to ask her how she feels about you? Or should you yourself tell her how you feel about her then ask her how she feels about you.

By asking her first are you basically fucking yourself over by putting her in a defensive and vulnerable position?

It all depends on how long you've been seeing her arcktik..and HOW you have been seeing her: if you do it after the first date, it's wayyy too early. She'll think "how can he know he loves me after seeing me only one time? Are his feelings for me only superficial?" It will hurt your game. So the best thing you can do is go on around 5-10 dates and THEN say it. This shows: A) your feelings are genuine and not shallow or just for sex and B) you are everything BUT needy and desperate, because these factors KILL the attraction.

As far as how you've been seeing her goes: did you two already kiss? Did you feel up on each other in the more private areas? Did you already have sex with her? Because research has proven that from a biological point of view (hormones), that the more intimate you've been with someone, the more attachment you'll feel with having sex being the masterpiece of "hormonal attachment" (for lack of a better word).

About making your move: why ask? Being a leader or dominant is one of the most attractive qualities in a man, in fact, it's why badboys are so seductive: they take what they want, when they want it, how they want it..and without ever thinking about the consequences. They NEVER ask, they take. If you ask her about her feelings btw, you'll be everything but the leader and the truth is: women want to be swept off their feet, not give a dog 3 million bones before he finally grows the balls to take action.

So here's what you do: TELL HER your feelings straight up and as detailed as possible. It's showing you're dominant, willing to take risk to get her. Most men tell a woman: I'm into you and that's it, but that's not seducing, that's being boring and everything but convincing. SHOW her you have feelings and tell her WHY: she's beautiful, attractive (her personality), your feelings are there, etc. Making a whole speech out of it is overdoing it, but you get the idea: more than a few words please.

The biggest advantage of telling her though is that it's an ultimate display of confidence: here I am, I feel this and that, take it or leave it. It's ASSUMING attraction: assuming she's into you too and taking action on it. By assuming it, you'll be more open, more comfortable around her, have more confidence, you're more talkative and you'll smile more..and these are all factors that AMPLIFY the attraction. So assuming attraction is a self-fulfilling prophecy: because you assume it, you create it. As a sidenote: most men are horribly off when they try to guess how she feels, simply because they wait for 10 friggin' signals while the first one already meant a BINGO!


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 8:04 pm 
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will this also work if you just for just being physically attracted to someone.

I mean, will it be a good idea if you just let the girl know how you feel about her physically, even if both of you know that it's the wrong thing to do since she's friends with your target? (there are girls that are like that.. does not want to go there since you are involved/or getting involved with someone she knows) i mean i know there's not going to be any emotional connection there but i just want to let her know that i'm attracted to her sexually.. what ya'll think?


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