Boyfriend destroying in the past has been clumsy at worst and ineffective at best. Let’s explore some new ways of doing this – making the boyfriend unappealing in her mind rather than ‘destroying’ him.
Let’s begin by saying that if she was SO happy with her boyfriend, she wouldn’t really be giving you the time of day, would she? Always keep this in mind. You will need to get across that you are her REAL type of man without explicitly stating this. Here are the things to key in on when trying to destroy a boyfriend.
1. Failure to commit
2. Jealousy-inspired arguments
3. Physically or mentally abusive behavior
4. Not assertive enough in bed
5. Being too predictable
6. Wanting to do off-the-wall things in bed that the girl isn’t into
7. Acting too needy
8. Acting withdrawn
OK. Those are some of the most common complaints from women in regards to their relationships with men. Now, you need to find out from her which one(s) her boyfriend is displaying and the boyfriend look inferior because of it. Here are some examples:

Failure to Commit:
“That reminds me of my friend Jim. He drives a truck for a living, but he met a girl from a wealthy family and started dating her. She was
really into him, but in his mind he just didn’t deserve a girl of that status. It was like, inside his mind, he was always worried that she would leave him because she could have any man she wanted.

Jealousy-inspired Arguments:
“Try not to be mad at him, OK? It’s just that you are probably the highest-caliber woman that he’s ever been with, and he knows that if you ever left him he would never find someone of your quality again. He’s just worried, that’s all.”

Abusive Behavior:
"This happens all the time when a guy is with a woman that he can’t handle emotionally. He just can’t handle all the things that are going on inside his head, so he acts out in this manner. He’s probably never been in demand with women, so he desperately wants you to stay with him.”

Not Assertive in Bed:
“I’m sure he wants to please you sexually, but he can’t because he’s insecure. It’s like the guy with a really hot girlfriend who ends up cheating on her with some fat girl that is not nearly as attractive, since she makes him feel better about himself. It sounds like he has a case of unworthiness, but you should bear with it for awhile, I’m sure he’ll do better soon.”

Being too Predictable/Boring:
“You two have become so close that you are more like a sister to him now than a lover. He’s really secure with you so he doesn’t feel the need to do anything special any more. 9
Don’t you see how most marriages evolve? This is the way. Now, with me, I’d rather keep the spice in a relationship, but I understand that it’s hard and most people don’t have the time for that sort of thing.

Off-the-Wall Sex:
“Since he’s never had someone like you, he feels the need to objectify you. He can’t open up to you because he risks the possibility of being hurt, so he turns sex into some sort of perverse game.”

Acting too Needy:
“Well, you should understand that this guy has nothing else going for him, you’re the only thing in his life that makes him feel important. Without you his life would be meaningless, so you can’t really blame him, he needs you.”

Acting Withdrawn:
“He’s just afraid to open up to you since he feels he doesn’t deserve someone like you. If he opened himself up you may not like what he reveals. Now, with me, I believe that communication is incredibly important in any relationship, but I can understand where he is coming from. He really doesn’t want to lose you.”

Yeah I've tried boyfriend destroyers on her,

Her: What are you thinking about?



Me: thinking about all the reasons why it wouldn't work between us. you have a great personality, but it seems like you don't want someone spontaneous and you just like to go with the safe route. that's just what i've seen.



Her: until i am on my own... yeah im going to take the safe and predictable way. i like being spontaneous and wish i could be more often but while im not on my own i have to do that ya know? not sure if that makes sense to you...but it does to me.. haha. so why would we not work out? (she's 18 and lives with her parents and that's what she's referring to as not being on her own)



Me: oh i get what you're saying. i wasn't talking about activities though. i understand that you can't just go off doing what you want to do when you're not on your own. i was talking about in general you seem to like to stick to what's safe and familiar. it's not a bad thing, just an observation i made.

and it wouldn't work because it seems like you like relationships that are not really a full commitment. that's not a bad thing either. if you want something that has no strings attached and is up in the air, that's great that it works for you. me on the other hand, i want something that's a full commitment. when i like a girl, i don't want to plan my whole life around them, but i want us to be a big part of each other's lives and not just leave our relationship up in the air to see what happens.

i could be wrong about you though and hopefully i am.



Her: i get what your saying about the safe and familiar thing. i dunno. i have been this way since i started dating jay. and me being with jay is the only way you have ever seen me. so there is a whole other side of me that you have never seen. and i'm not sure if you will... or when you will.

and i don't like relationships being up in the air. i actually hate them with a passion. the problem is that i've been with him for so long that its hard to let go. its a slow process ya know? all i want is a relationship where i get appreciated and i'm not treated like shit or talked down to. i don't want to be obsessed about or anything but i want to know that i'm cared for.

how would we get to know each other better?[/i]