Heres we go (plentyoffish.com)
Subject: PARKING MAIDS!!!
Me:Ahhh just the other day the same maid gave me 2 tickets in a row for some random crap.
But on the lighter note, it was a sunny day and no birds pooped on my car either.
Cakes or cookies?
HER: downtown or la jolla?
both.
ME:Downtown, where I work - monkey business as well.
Cakes AND cookies.. arn't you the greedy one?
Forget it, I'll pick cookies for you. Do you like crunchy or soft/melt in your mouth cookies?
HER: soft. i wear dentures
ME: Wow, thats it.. we're getting married right away! We're going to vegas right NOW and getting married by a midget elvis impersonator.
On second thought, I don't even know you! We're getting a divorce, and I'm taking half your stuff, you keep the dog.
Lets take it slower this time
now.. whats your passion in life
HER: slurpees and chocolate? that's just for starters.
ME: mmmm, you ever tried Bean and Berry (I think thats what its called) basically they have the icecream/yogurt stuff that comes out of these machines and you squirt them out into a cup and put your own toppings on it.. its likes CRACK its so good.
HER:yah i was there on saturday. the clairmont one. you do realize all froyo shops are like that right?
ME:Kind of lol.. I think its a korean imported idea, I'm surprised they have those machine things out in the open.. people could easily sneak away without paying! If you were broke and needed your been n berry fix, you wouldn't think of doing such a thing... would you?!
HER:well...when i was there at the bean and berry shop there was actually someone quite close ringing up customers. so even if were to steal froyo im sure i wouldn't go unnoticed.
ME:ohhh you could be pretty creative with it
well lets see.. you like cake and SOFT cookies... and froyo
I think we're on a roll here!
tell me what music you're listening to now
HER:colby o'donis, dont something.
ME:listening to "Remember The Name" by.. shinoda or something
hey you changed your pic.. [a sexy pic now]
HER:i dont know who taht is.
i did change it. i think it was a bad idea.
ME: yeah I created a fake female profile once just for kicks to see what its like.. got 100 emails a day.. was pretty creepy, I feel sorry for you guys
HER: tahts funny, did you include a pic?
ME: yeah :p I googled a random picture and stuck it on there.. the messages were an endless cluster**** (pardon my french) of "hey sexy," "you're hOT!," "let me take care of you baby."
HER: yah. i got an offer for a full body massage tonight.
ME: lol, really? I actually know how to give one, my ex taught me
[at this point the conversation seemed fairly bland.. she was not really giving me much value it was mostly me doing all the shit for her.. so I tried this opportunity to ESCALATE the conversation.. clearly it didn't work burn]
HER: dont worry. i dont want one.
ME: who said I was going to give you one?

that sh*tdoesn't come free.. its A LOT of work, seriously!
anyways, I'm tired from my workout at the gym and have a long day of work tomarrow.. I'll chat with ya later... don't let the bed bugs bite!
peace and love
HER: mighty nighty.
So thats where I'm at.. I tried to end it and save my dignity by doing a light DHV with the gym thing and being in control of ending the conversation myself (i actually do workout).
So whats the deal guys.. she seems VERY MILDly interested.. giving just barely enough of a response to tease me into responding to her borring ass. Maybe shes just naturally borring in real life too? Fuck I still want to bone her anyways, shes hot.
What am I saying wrong? BTW it says she has NOT even viewed my damn profile.. whats happening.. am I getting vacuumed into LJBF zone?