Right, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not sure if I was LJBF'd from the beginning or if I just severely choded out on a decent opportunity to bang her brains out.
Firstly, cheers delta for the advice, even though I didn't get to see your post before I left I pretty much went into it with that mindset (so maybe it transferred to me beyond the internet highway)!
Secondly, I don't think it's oneitis mate, I'm definitely aware of putting other girls on a pedestal but not this one for some reason, in fact if anything the alternative might be true, haven't been into her enough when I should have been to make the move. But I'll come back to that.
So I went round, she greets me at the door in the skimpiest fucking top you ever saw (her tits are falling out of this thing all the time I'm there).
As I walk in
Me: By the way .. the whole 'there's a mouse in my house' thing is by far and away the most transparent excuse that a girl has ever used to get me round to her house. Just to be clear .. we're not having sex tonight.
Her: Shut up *girly hits me*
....
So I deal with the mouse issue, which she does actually seem to be quite genuinely fucked up about. I break the ice with a little humour
Me: Seriously HB, lets not beat around the bush that arse of yours has grown a lot as of late ... the mouse is probably scared away from the vibrations it makes alone.
Her: OH MY GOD *girly hits me*
....
I actually felt very chilled out. This girls parents are fucking loaded and she has her own 2 bedroom flat in central london that is decked out in the nicest decor. She's a proper rich kid. Rich kids are funny ... I'm chilled.
We smoke, she still looks a bit fazed by the whole thing
Me: You need to chill out and indulge in some happy thoughts darlin!
Her: Blah Blah ... I can't help it ... Blah blah .. I keep seeing mice everywhere ... blah blah
Me: Ok ... what makes you happy ... like if you could do absolutely anything right now to make you smile from ear to ear what would it be.
Her: talks about seeing her family (they're not in the country) then talks about shopping (jeez ... I realised how materialistic\superficial this chick is over the space of the next hour).
... We chat breeze for a few secs then I say lets go to the living room (where the mouse was) ... I was gonna force her to relax. It worked.
Before long we're on the sofa, she's got a blanket over herself (not me .. I'm sat next to her) and (although how we got there I have no idea) we basically end up talking about sex for about 25 mins whilst she has her feet under my legs to keep them warm and plays with my hair and bracelet.
It's not as cool as it sounds, at points it kinda felt like I was one of her girlfriends ... she was even talking about sex with her boyfriend at one point ...
Me: (tongue in cheek) This is bollocks, I ain't one of your girlfriends. I'm not about to let you demasculate me after I have the decency to come and rescue you from the dreaded mouse ... (Then I let out a loud burp whilst I scratch my balls). She burst out laughing.
There were cooler moments ... I was talking about one of her gf's at one point and said she should hook us up.
Her: No way, you'd mess her around.
Me: Excuse me! I'm the perfect gentleman, woman are the ones that always use me (exaggerated sobbing)
Her: Watever!!
Me: I'm just a hopeless romantic ... look imagine that your your friend and we're on a date ....
Her: ok?
Me: (I put on a really cheesy 'romantic' voice) ... I'd look her deep in the eyes and tell her 'I'm having such a wonderful time' (I stroke her hair as I say this) .... 'I just can't get over how unbelievably beautiful you are'.... 'but you know what ... you'd look EVEN prettier if ......... you sucked my cock'.
Her: (bursts out laughing)
Me: (cheeky smile) ... well?
Her: Please QC, if we were going to have sex I'd have fucked you when we first met. (I'll be honest this would have floored me if she hadn't continued) I'd have fucked you hard all over my flat in many positions but it wasn't to be.
Me: (Over the top shocked face, long pause) ... Well if there's no sex then I'll be off ... (I get up)
Her: (grabs my arm) nnoooooo ... stay!
........
There were other exchanges like this and at one point I even had both her wrists and we were playing about me 'pinning her down'. But I couldn't escalate it further, plus there was always an air of OVER playfullness about this and I think that a lot of that came from the fact that I was SO chilled.
It got late and she started talking about bad relationships in the past (yet kept on mentioning how great her current "boyf" was) I had to bust so I ejected with nada to show for my efforts.
'LJBF' or dick that didn't make the killer move? I'm not sure.
I got this text from her about 15mins after I left
'Hey Girlfriend! ... I mean QC. Thanks 4 coming over, I know u r v busy at this time of year. Nice chatting shit wit u. Get home safely xx'
I don't fucking know.