Hey guys, I had a very unusual situation to me and wanted to get some view on it and to understand what to do/not do next time.

I met a Persian girl during the daygame in May. The girl was 3 years older than me, was very sceptical with the whole interaction-she told me she wasn't looking for anything and compared me to her ex one time. We talked for about 20 min and I got her Facebook as she didn't want to give me her number.

We then met up after a week, the place I wanted to go was closed, didn't have a plan B so we went to a random restaurant as the girl doesn't drink and we bounced to a shisha place later on. The date lasted around 4h, there wasn't much physicality coz of the venues but I had an arm around her when we were walking, I was running standard game and we were just having fun and getting to know each other.

After the date, we went to the underground, she then repeated randomly she wasn't looking for anything, I didn't say anything to that and changed the subject. After that, I said I wanted to kiss her but because the train came in a bad time, I got distracted as I was already 2.5h late to my friends party and left without making out with her. I know she was disappointed that it didn't happen so I texted her 10 min after I left saying I'm not looking for anything serious either and to just see what the future holds. We agreed to that and I replied to her text the next day.

We texted a bit then till Wednesday, I asked her out again after a couple of texts but I said we'd check closer to the weekend about the timing. There wasn't any reply from her so I decided to wait a couple of days to reconnect. I texted her after 6 days, we had a short convo, I said I was going to Barcelona during the next weekend so there wasn't any point in asking her out again. She asked me to send her pictures from there and we ended here.

The weekend comes, I sent her some cool pictures on Sunday but something had changed at that point (I suppose Ramadan had something to do with that as I texted her on the first day of Ramadan). She became slightly distant and just replied with 1 word answer or didn't reply at all so left it again for a couple of days. I invited her out again in a week's time, she said she can't because she breaks the fast with her family so we decided to catch up after that period. I left it here, Ramadan finished after 3 weeks, I texted her again but she said she had guests so couldn't meet up. I left it there, waited another week, asked her out again but she hasn't read the message. I tried again in a week's time but she hasn't read that either despite being online so left it there. It's now been a month without a contact and I know it's a lost cause with million reasons why it didn't go where I wanted.

So my question is: what should I do/not do if a similar situation happens again?

Jesus christ.

This is way, way too much time for a first date. The high point of the interaction was probably a 1/2 hour to 1 hour in.

Venues don't determine physicality. You do.
Very tentative seduction. You're acting like her boyfriend, giving PDA before even kissing her. there aren't "18 steps of physicality" before a kiss, or a hundred doors of exactly the right things to say and do before the kiss.
Why?

Her: I'm not looking for anything.
You: Cool, neither am I, I'm just about fun right now.


Yikes. That happens man. You know what that is? It's how I treat women I'm not interested in, lol.

Don't beat yourself up, not every girl is going to love you.

However, in the future:

1. No 4 hour dates. That's too much investment. If she doesn't drink, meet at a beach, or a bowling alley, or someplace low investment. Plan on the date being SHORT. Take note of the high point, and then invite the girl to your home.

2. On the date, you have to escalate. Putting your arm around her, and then failing to go for the kiss is weak. Act like you have a dick.

3. Don't talk so much. I get the feeling this date was four hours of you blabbing.

4. Your repeated contact of her was too much. When you ask a woman out and she declines, ghost her.

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Thanks for the feedback. To be honest, I knew I fucked it up a minute after I left, tried to revive it but you're correct - the interest was gone and I was too weak. It's a shame as she was my perfect type of a girl. The lesson was learnt though - Always Be Closing.

Is there any point in reconnecting after 6 months to a year or shall I completely delete her from my FB as it's completely dead?

Deleting her from your FB is a butthurt response. Don't do anything.

As far as contacting her in six months, I would say "yes" if you had sex with her. But you didn't provide any value on the first date, and she just nexted you. If she texts you, invite her over. But she has to reach out first.

I'd look for other women.

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Ohhh you chickened out! Cool story Bro.

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Yes, I did. Case closed, I'm moving on, won't message her again. Thanks again.