hi guys,it"s been a while,reasons are flakes,constant flakes,i go in,everything is good,when it"s the time to meet up,i get a flake,thing is i don"t even know why,i tend to think that i did something wrong,but nothing comes up,maybe i didn't make her feel comfortable enough,but she looked totally comfortable,relaxed and having a good time,they usually look eager or at least "ok" for meet up,but then they just cool down,any ideas,i ran out of my own,only thing i do know is that on few cases,2 or,i didn't share almost nothing on myself and for that i understand a flake,but for the rest of it.....

What's your purpose when you interact with a woman?

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

this is a tricky one,usually my "base" intention is to get to know her being genuinely interested,but there are situations,and it happened more often then not,when i go in with an intention of getting her although i know it"s low,but its a feeling and i cant always "rewrite" it into more stable foundation,i dont know,it feels like i have to do it no matter how i feel,its not always genuine interest,i began to get frustrated,not much and not often,but felt it after about dozen flakes,then it is the job,little time,wasn't out for 3 months etc

Purpose should be to form a "bond" or connection, not to get the number. If you're getting too many flakes you're probably too focused on the digits as opposed to the actual person.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

True.there wasnt much connection.i was focusing more on achieving something then getting a connection with the girl

I have to interrupt, sorry, but I have visited your town and I liked it a lot... And I met two french girls, whom I'm still in contact with, after three years... even if I was there with my girlfriend (pipistrelo hostel).

Pula je lijep grad i ako budem imao priliku, eto me opet tamo.

Za savjet, ne znam šta da ti kažem...
Maybe it's a small place, maybe you should move, I don't know, I'm not sure.
Rijeka or Split would be good if you can't detach from the sea. Otherwise Zagreb should be the best.
I'm telling you this because I've noticed that girls in small places can be "difficult" (very difficult) and it's much easier to get them on a second date in bigger cities. So bigger is better.

Pozdrav, a možda se nekad i vidimo u Puli.

_________________
At elske Een er for lidt; at elske Alle er Overfladiskhed; at kjende sig selv og elske saa mange som muligt [...] det er Nydelse, det er at leve.
Søren Aabye Kierkegaard

Vidi ovog papka, mixing english with serbo-hrvatski. Sta je wrong with you, assrupa?

On topic: If djevojke realize that you are interacting with them samo za sex, telefonski number ili bilo sta else sto se ne radi about them selves onda mozes biti siguran da neces doci much further od flaking.

Try to make your interactions as genuine as possible even though you might have ulterior motives. In order to "bond" with them, allow them to talk much about themselves and try to answer their questions in a semi-deflecting matter in order to remain interesting. That will give her the incentive to meet up with you again.

Also, by the way you write im getting a sense that you're making brain surgery out of this pick up thing. Dont do that.

All the best,

SGC_Dame

She needs to feel it in her bones that she wants to continue things because she wants to fucking GET with you and wished the two of you weren't wearing clothes in the initial interaction. She yearns and aches for more time with you.
If you watch any chodey af "pickup" videos on youtube, this is what you see there too 99% of the time. FORM A CONNECTION or there's no point.

pula is great,people open for meet up,not too much assholes,split no way,girls too bitchy there and if you approach they look at you like you"re holding a bomb from what i heard of.problem is i usually did just that,approach when i am genuinely interested,this is pretty much recent,whenever i do it for honest interest it usually ends up good.yea i do overthink sometimes,but a lot less since i started meditating,thing is whenever i start anything and there is,dont know how to describe it,in the moment and being really into it it pretty much always ends with at least a date,other times i dont feel like going all the way,being satisfied with that went well enough and loose interest for some reason,sometimes i only want to push myself to do it without much thought of it,nah i dont like pickup videos,usu to watch them before but it"s too scripted,i cant complain,doing better then ever before,but sometimes things confuse me,maybe i overthink too much,thx,hvala decki

First, paragraphs. Second, don't ask basic questions then act like you're better than pickup.

_________________
These hos ain't loyal

Another thing to look at is how you're following up with them after the initial interaction. Test a variety of follow ups to find out what works for you.

I know what you're talking about, but... That's bad. You should go there and see it for yourself. Never trust anyone, because for losers it's always someone else's (girls') fault. Life is much easier that way. I know what I'm talking about, I've seen it. I hope then it's just a bad period, it happens. Haha, nema na čemu !!
Zato smo tu.

_________________
At elske Een er for lidt; at elske Alle er Overfladiskhed; at kjende sig selv og elske saa mange som muligt [...] det er Nydelse, det er at leve.
Søren Aabye Kierkegaard

Oh, and I forgot, you should try it with the foreign girls, now it's the season...
And they are famous for being easy...
It's in your nature and your tradition, you have a lot of gulls there....
You know what gulls I'm talking about (galebovi).

_________________
At elske Een er for lidt; at elske Alle er Overfladiskhed; at kjende sig selv og elske saa mange som muligt [...] det er Nydelse, det er at leve.
Søren Aabye Kierkegaard

few common reasons for flakes

1) she liked that you liked her, but she wasn't attracted to you, so she gave you her # as an ego boost but has no interest in actually meeting etc.

2) she feels you were disingenuous or untrustworthy for what ever reason and is too uncomfortable to meet or continue with you (i.e. you're just looking for a chuck and fuck, or were acting weird/off or just gets a feeling like she doesn't know you and can't trust you)

3) she just is flaking for legitimate reasons and being honest

4) something arbitrary, like she has a boyfriend, or met some other guy, or has family obligations or something random outside of your control that has nothing to do with you has lead her to not want to continue

Think of flaking/non response/wrong number as a soft rejection, it's what happens when a girl doesn't want to reject you to your face because she appreciates your effort, so they give you their number as a thank you or a consolation prize for trying to meet her and get to know her

Here are some solutions that can help you mitigate this

1) If attraction is the problem, address your appearance, how can you improve your presentation, be honest with yourself about what your weak points are, set small goals to improve in the long term, write them down and what you want to achieve and also write down what you want to avoid as a worse case and create a timeline in which you want to achieve that goal (example, want to lose gain xyz amount of lbs by xyz date, want to avoid becoming heavier/lighter, will commit to 3x gym a week), take into account how you are dressing, how you are grooming yourself, your hygiene, how your posture is, if you could use a teeth whitening

Every little small improvement you can make, adds up, after you consider your appearance and if you could make some adjustments, consider how socially dominant your presentation is, are you relaxed?, speaking clearly?, looking the person you are talking to in the eye?, are you fidgeting around and spaztically moving/talking? are you talking fast? are you genuinely acting how you are thinking and feeling or are you putting on an ''act''? are you avoiding saying/expressing what you are actually thinking in an honest way? are you being mature? are you allowing her room to talk?

2) DOES SHE KNOW WHY YOU ARE TALKING TO HER FOR REAL? (if you leave does she even know why you wanted the number?, is there even a reason?, when you leave does she know what your actual intentions are, or were they hidden under the guise of some sort of platonic meetup or random ambiguous grab for her phone number?

3) if you want to give her a few tries because she was extra cute, have you invited her out up to 3x and spaced out when to ask her so it doesn't seem desperate?

4) 4th and finally, the mitigation, when you ask girls out, try to figure out things about them that you would like, see if it's a girl that you would actually be happy with (like happy hanging out with, not just happy putting your dick inside), find out if their interests are similar to your interests, find out what they like, when you invite them out, invite them out to do something you think they would like or simply cut the shit and use an overly boring invite with an obviously sexual undertone to quickly weed out if she is definitely interested or just a wishy washy maybe/no


learn to screen before asking a girl out or asking for a number, try to look up on the forum posts related to AI, learning to read approach invites is a good start for learning to read a girls body language for when she is somewhat nervous, you can start to differentiate between a girl who is nervous in a positive way vs a girl who is nervous in an uncomfortable way, start trying to get rejected and looking for social cues, see if she is trying to actively contribute to a conversation with you or at least not trying to get away, see if she is happy and positive to speak with you or negative and dismissive, see what happens when you change the frame from platonic to romantic (just ask if she is single if you don't know how to do this), see if she is logistically available for a date, the sooner the better, you can even try to move her to one right then and there and see if she makes excuses or shows interest

don't spend lots of time trying to talk with girls that are not interested, instead spend your time talking to MORE girls in order to find girls that ARE interested (this should be obvious when you can tell the difference between interest/disinterest/polite indifference) learn how to figure out what all this looks like

REALLY GET TO THE BOTTOM of what is possible as fast as you can, figure out if she is available, when she is available, where is the best place to make it happen, if she is looking like she is only so-so interested or being polite, you can simply grab her number for a date that you know she will flake on, add her to a collective dead number pile and leave from talking to her to try another approach on a different girl, use her for a fun texting buddy or something if you are bored and if you throw a party, you can send the whole dead pile a mass invite and ask them to only bring other girls if they want to come because you already have a bunch of guys coming (theme parties help make it more interesting), this can give you a bigger edge over those girls and their friends who decide to come status wise (you jump up a bunch of points in importance if they are attending you party and it is good)

you can also try to qualify a girl directly on if she is truly interested in the date, ''do you really want to go out with me to XYZ place or are you just too shy to say no?, you won't hurt my feelings I still like you anyways'' or some variant (don't get too needy with this, if you do this, you want to seem like you are comforting her and being considerate of her feelings, not assuming she won't go and being butthurt or neurotically paranoid that you are not good enough)

anyways, all this shit should help you if you apply it properly, assuming no autism here just APPROACH APPROACH APPROACH and eventually it should become just instinctive to be able to tell with how she smiles or doesn't, how she reacts, how she deals with you trying to move forward as to if it is going well, or not going well, if she is cooperating and trying to work with you to make it happen, then it will likely happen, if she is resisting and doing what she can to cut things off and make it not happen, the number is as good as garbage typically

2) DOES SHE KNOW WHY YOU ARE TALKING TO HER FOR REAL? (if you leave does she even know why you wanted the number?, is there even a reason?, when you leave does she know what your actual intentions are, or were they hidden under the guise of some sort of platonic meetup or random ambiguous grab for her phone number?

yes,i am always clear in my intentions.,my reasons for approaching however wasn't genuine

3) if you want to give her a few tries because she was extra cute, have you invited her out up to 3x and spaced out when to ask her so it doesn't seem desperate?

i usually ask her out once or maybe twice before i move on

4) 4th and finally, the mitigation, when you ask girls out, try to figure out things about them that you would like, see if it's a girl that you would actually be happy with (like happy hanging out with, not just happy putting your dick inside), find out if their interests are similar to your interests, find out what they like, when you invite them out, invite them out to do something you think they would like or simply cut the shit and use an overly boring invite with an obviously sexual undertone to quickly weed out if she is definitely interested or just a wishy washy maybe/no

doing it,that"s why i rejected some girls including my ex,feels good


learn to screen before asking a girl out or asking for a number, try to look up on the forum posts related to AI, learning to read approach invites is a good start for learning to read a girls body language for when she is somewhat nervous, you can start to differentiate between a girl who is nervous in a positive way vs a girl who is nervous in an uncomfortable way, start trying to get rejected and looking for social cues, see if she is trying to actively contribute to a conversation with you or at least not trying to get away, see if she is happy and positive to speak with you or negative and dismissive, see what happens when you change the frame from platonic to romantic (just ask if she is single if you don't know how to do this), see if she is logistically available for a date, the sooner the better, you can even try to move her to one right then and there and see if she makes excuses or shows interest

i definitely will,i always went in with assumption why wouldn't she like me,but i get your point

don't spend lots of time trying to talk with girls that are not interested, instead spend your time talking to MORE girls in order to find girls that ARE interested (this should be obvious when you can tell the difference between interest/disinterest/polite indifference) learn how to figure out what all this looks like

non interested girls are my instant turn off,although talking to more girls is what got me results,i got a bit rusty recently since i haven't gone out for months do to work and i also couldn't figure out why all those flakes,all makes sense now


REALLY GET TO THE BOTTOM of what is possible as fast as you can, figure out if she is available, when she is available, where is the best place to make it happen, if she is looking like she is only so-so interested or being polite, you can simply grab her number for a date that you know she will flake on, add her to a collective dead number pile and leave from talking to her to try another approach on a different girl, use her for a fun texting buddy or something if you are bored and if you throw a party, you can send the whole dead pile a mass invite and ask them to only bring other girls if they want to come because you already have a bunch of guys coming (theme parties help make it more interesting), this can give you a bigger edge over those girls and their friends who decide to come status wise (you jump up a bunch of points in importance if they are attending you party and it is good)

this is good,i like it

you can also try to qualify a girl directly on if she is truly interested in the date, ''do you really want to go out with me to XYZ place or are you just too shy to say no?, you won't hurt my feelings I still like you anyways'' or some variant (don't get too needy with this, if you do this, you want to seem like you are comforting her and being considerate of her feelings, not assuming she won't go and being butthurt or neurotically paranoid that you are not good enough)

i"ll remember this one for the next time i go out

anyways, all this shit should help you if you apply it properly, assuming no autism here just APPROACH APPROACH APPROACH and eventually it should become just instinctive to be able to tell with how she smiles or doesn't, how she reacts, how she deals with you trying to move forward as to if it is going well, or not going well, if she is cooperating and trying to work with you to make it happen, then it will likely happen, if she is resisting and doing what she can to cut things off and make it not happen, the number is as good as garbage

approach is not a problem for me anymore,i dont hesitate,but sometimes,more often then not recently,my intentions were wrong

yep,foreign girls are exactly what i am interested at right now,there are many,like approach haven

Another thing to look at is how you're following up with them after the initial interaction. Test a variety of follow ups to find out what works for you

well,if all went well i text her that same day day for a meet up if i have time that same day,if not i text her the next day or whenever i have time for meet up


First, paragraphs. Second, don't ask basic questions then act like you're better than pickup.

yea paragraphs are my sticking point this is the first time i had "issues" with this,never had so many flakes,i got a bit rusty,not saying i am better or anything,just confused at the moment since it was pretty much effortless,but now,like i am starting all over,it sucks and probably my ego took a hit

thx everyone,i got my answer,i was a bit frustrated recently for making no progress,thing is i dont even look at the available girls,only the next the next the next,i have at least 3 phone numbers to call and they will come,but i tend to look at what else i can get completely ignoring what i already have