Very solid. Totally agree. Sometimes it is hard because our brains are so powerful that we dont even realize that we are doing something coubterproductive. Its too hard to master the art of being aloof of non-caring. Do experienced pickup artists still get these sticking points? For instance, if for some reason abundance is not present at the moment in terms of women in their lives. I know it does happen sometimes to where theyre all gone. Bery immature thinking, I know.

LMAO...I live in pretty much the most western part of the western world and I can say what you are advising is poor. What you are giving is advice based on her fear of being used for sex and her trying to recover from being played but unless they are naive that shit won't play on most women. The problem with guys is that they don't want to lose the girl so they don't remain consistent to what they presented themselves as being. OP, went from grabbing her ass, kissing her in front of her ex, commenting on how he forgot condoms to the guy saying that things went too fast and slowing it down. Do you understand that this isn't the guy she went for in the first place? If you want to have a girl go crazy for you, be consistent with what you presented her and let her work at discovering the other parts about you.

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This is not really about abundance being present, as much as it is about having the ability to generate it. Losing your job is no big deal when you know you're in demand and any employer would be lucky to have you.

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Is it really a good idea to ignore a girl after first lay? Or does that depend on whether the sex was good or bad?

Yes, definitely am over-analyzing everything. In saying that, After having that one time rebound sex with her, and 3 days later mid-conversation she says (exactly): "I'm wondering that we should keep it at a friend level for now. Especially that youre (me) just leaving a three year relationship"

What could this mean? Does this necessarily mean that i am in the friendzone? If so, has all sexual attraction and feelings vanished all of a sudden?

Also note that she admitted still being hung up on her ex who was an a-hole.

I know I may be too naive here, but at the moment I am too in my head and maybe in denial and need some guidance or a reality check. I appreciate all criticisms and suggestions, guys. Thanks in advance.

You invited that conversation, she didn't say it out of the blue.
It wasn't "all of a sudden". Jack explained it to you quite clearly. You went from the guy that was grabbing her ass and kissing her in front of her ex, to the guy that's suddenly all apologetic and insecure. That a complete U turn.
It's doesn't have to mean friendzone, but she did lose quite some interest.
Ofcourse she was. This is a rebound.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Yeah.. no.

OP, Jack's right. Especially about the part of being something to look forward to, and not another cause of stress. Keep it simple and light. Stop making imaginary problems real.[/quote]

Location: Romania. You don't understand how it works in the western 1st world. Your advice is poor.
OP if you want a girl to go mad for you, ignore her after the first lay. Or just be very vague in responses. She will be more attracted because every beta before you would be blowing up her phone declaring their love after the first lay, whereas you being aloof shows you can handle sex with a pretty woman.
It's probably over now but i'd ignore her for a week, do a needy cleanse, and try and post some pics of you with other girls on your social media.[/quote]LMAO...I live in pretty much the most western part of the western world and I can say what you are advising is poor. What you are giving is advice based on her fear of being used for sex and her trying to recover from being played but unless they are naive that shit won't play on most women. The problem with guys is that they don't want to lose the girl so they don't remain consistent to what they presented themselves as being. OP, went from grabbing her ass, kissing her in front of her ex, commenting on how he forgot condoms to the guy saying that things went too fast and slowing it down. Do you understand that this isn't the guy she went for in the first place? If you want to have a girl go crazy for you, be consistent with what you presented her and let her work at discovering the other parts about you.[/quote]

I agree. Had I remained consistent from the beginning and just even acted (outer game) not giving a f*ck, maybe my outcome would have been better. So bottomline, was the reason she wanted to hang with me was that I was direct in the beginning? And was it really that bad that I was concerned later on and told her to slow it down? During the moment, I was attempting to show her that I was not naive and that I am aware/'experienced' on what was happening. I guess that backfired?

True. But do seasoned pick up artists experience this scarcity from time to time?

I see. Thanks for being brutally honest. So, is consistency the outer issue on my end? Matter of fact, I also DID apologize mid-conversation a few days BEFORE she asked me out. Isnt that interesting? Wouldnt she have lost interest then and there before we even hooked up?

The reason that she wanted to hang out with you is because she found you attractive and it could have been because of your directness, but who knows besides her? The question is why were you concerned? Two adults had sex with each other. You don't seem like you manipulated her or forced yourself on her. You acted like you wanted sex from her and she still went out with you...so why are you concerned? You pretended that you were aware/experienced on what was happening but that really wasn't the case and you went about things in the exact opposite manner that you should have. Don't be apologetic, be glad that it happened.You aren't understanding the real problem. You had sex with her and then afterwards you got insecure and offered to slow down. Your apology for what happened before hanging out wasn't from an insecure place and even after the apology you still kept things on a sexual level.

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Not really.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

You may be right. I was polite the first time apologizing before hanging out, but not in an insecure place.

Actually here's the correct sequence of events (sorry for the inconvenience guys):
(Note that before all this, I was somewhat aloof and honestly did not have too much interest in hanging out with her. Mostly due to the ex issue. It was all chit chat bantering and she was enjoying it. She said in the beginning that she wanted to ''chat soon??"
Before we hung out she also mentioned that her date might flake on her for the weekend. And i was aloof with that as well. I just said "ooh. Must be an emergency."
Not sure if her date mention is true or a ploy or just a set up to frame her 'fling' mode. But at the time it did NOT really bother me.)

1. Friday = she says her plans fell off, so she wanted to hang with me, I first said I migh be someplace and she can tag along, she says shes not sure she can drive that far, i said wanna just chill at hwr place? She says yes, i come over, no condoms, no sex, only make out.

2. Saturday = she SOMEWHAT DESPERATELY wanted to hang out again and asked me to bring condoms, we had sex at night and morning.

3. Sunday = morning, she was irritated and wanted to take me home asap. Her words were 'bye' as I kissed her and got out of the car. She freezes me out all day and posts a meme on facebook mocking going back into dating (funny animation of a man tripping/falling over jump rope). I had to reengage convo that night. She was distant.

4. Monday = she messages me "good morning sunshine", we chatted, small talk. I 'no contacted' for hours, then at night I posted a status update on facebook about me being in band rehearsal. She reengages "hows it going", and "hows band", we chatted, small talk.

5. Tuesday = i said goodmorning, we chatted short, shes already distant

6. Wednesday = freezeout all day, but i messaged her at night and hence the 'friend level' conversation.

I am shuddering with the thought, and very disappointed at myself. But I wonder if i was at least being a challenge in the beginning and if she at least remembers that part. Or if at least I am remembered as an attractive guy and not just some tool.

OP, you need to get over this. You were a rebound. The odds were not on your side based on that fact alone. I've been a rebound on quite a few occasions and most of those times the girl felt guilty about having sex with a guy so fast, become distant, and sometimes irritable the morning after. This is normal with any girl that's broken up with anyone that they've had for a significant amount of time. Yes, you've made some mistakes by changing the way you've treated her and offering to slow down...but you were still a rebound. You still barely knew her.

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I see. Thats somewhat enlightening that youve experienced this and that its normal reaction with a rebound sex. The next time a rebound sex happens and a girl becomes guilty or distant, are we supposed to avknowledge that or show that we 'get it'? Or is it more attractive to just be a douche and not care and pretend to be naive about her backing away?