| Hey guys, so I'm curious about something...
> Do you sometimes see this “pua” material and you really feel like it’s missing some underlying class?
> Do you sometimes feel that guys who are “coaches” or in general teach pick up or seduction come across as
a little weird sometimes, or even “sleazy”?
> Do you feel that you can’t really publicly share with people what you’re learning in the pick up community,
and does the entire thing feel slightly “secretive”?
Well if you answered to any of these questions with a yes, than I can feel your "pain".
Because for years, I’ve struggled to find my identity in the PUA community, and my identity as a dating coach.
I vividly remember blushing when people asked me what I do.
My standard answer was, “Umm, I work online…”
I felt like I was leading a double life, because what I was teaching seemed so detached from
how I considered myself to be.
I always saw myself as a well rounded guy.
Went to school and did OK in school.
At work and my career I was pretty successful and respected.
But when I recognised that I don't have the ability that I want to meet women, I was introduced to the
PUA community...and the all strange perks that go along with it.
It was as if this whole thing was "hush hush" and slightly "wrong".
I couldn't just openly discuss it with people, because the topic was just so embarrassing.
I mean, admitting openly that I'm not really good with women, am insecure and want to work on myself...?
Are you out of your mind?
Eventually as I improved and mastered this game, and as I started helping other guys to get good with women
as a career, I didn't really know how to frame it...
“Yea what I do is I help guys pick up chicks so they get laid easier…”
There is a certain sting when we hear guys talk in terms of getting laid last night, or see an article with
“How to show her who the bad boy is…”
Those things are cool, but how do we fit them in with our identity without feeling like double agents?
Is there a way to combine these two things into one, so we feel authentic and at peace with it?
That’s what I’ve struggled with for many years.
In any case, my frustration happened when I started working with guys to get better with women.
Instantly I would attract these “loner” guys, who had no lives besides masturbating to internet porn and
reading PUA books - oh and let’s not forget, post on forums as “experts”.
These guys would come to me with questions like,
> “But how do I seduce her?”
> “How do I take her to the bedroom?”
I found that guys who think in those terms, are mostly empty men.
Full men, who kind of have their shit together, won’t talk about how they “scored” last night.
It’s just not what they do.
These men are looking for a higher, deeper meaning in life.
Now don’t get me wrong, getting laid is AWESOME, and you should do it as much
as you can… but if that is your sole purpose for existence, then I have a question for you...
What the f*** is YOUR life about?
Here's some challenging questions:
> What does it really take to engage a woman in a conversation, have her go “Oh wow”, pay attention
to you, and not just brush you off as a “jerk-off?”
> What does it really take to be able to establish a connection with a higher quality woman, so she see’s
you as a man who she’d want to date?
> What does it really take to have a woman go “wow what a guy” when you leave an interaction with her?
Is the answer really to study more “systems” of how to start a conversation, keep it going, and get her number?
FUCK NO.
Those are skills, the HOW-TO, but to really be attractive and have women be interested in you for WHO YOU
REALLY ARE, you need to address 3 DEEPER THINGS:
1. Your self concept as a man.
What does it mean to be “you”? What can a woman respect about you? Do you demand a certain level of
behaviour from people and women that you will not accept nothing below?
Do you respect yourself as a man, or are you walking around like a horn dog who will settle for whatever
sausage he can get?
2. Your concept of women.
Are women just bodies with pussy for you to chase and fuck? Or is there something more to it? Why are you
interested in women in the first place - besides sex? Do you understand how a woman fits into your life?
And lastly, do you know how to treat her if you find her?
3. Your ability to be authentic, vulnerable and transparent when interacting with women.
I know, James Bond show’s us that you have to “play it cool”. That you have to act all “suave” and slick.
But what if that’s not you?
What if you’re a clumsy, awkward… dork?
What then?
Well OK, most of us are not these clumsy dorks, but if we’re really honest, we don’t always feel like the
most confident creatures on the planet.
> If we like a girl and she looks at us, sometimes we’ll blush or shy away.
> When we want to approach a woman and say something, we feel the pressure or fear of being
rejected or judged by her and others.
> When we’re talking with her, we do our best to hide our insecurities and keep them covered up
or private, because we think that if we DO show our real self, she WON’T LIKE us.
The thing is, vulnerability is not weakness.
Vulnerability is POWER.
And if you are able to show who you TRULY are in front of a woman, be very open about your intentions
WITHOUT SPAM your self-respect, you will go a LONG way. _________________ Test out my new Approach Anxiety technique, that eliminates your AA
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Last edited by Black Phantom on Sat Jun 03, 2017 4:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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CHAT
