This is for me, one of the best advices I've ever read. Literally
Reading it brought to my mind all the boners that I made, which stemmed from my common male's sense.
Even after knowing a lot about seduction (the theory at least), I still followed my common sense in some cases, and it led me to screw up. One of the things I did was giving an Ultimatum to a girl actually xd.


Thats one of the best advice for beginners, for sure!

Yep.

And you'll also hone in on a perfect type that ticks all your boxes, and not waste time with others.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

From my point of view you killed all qualification, romance and some amounts of value with that.
I would give a last try though (in an alpha way), in order to get more experience and knowledge.
I mean, for me seduction is like an equation, a combination of variables, which in general are....(Value + Romance + Qualification) - Shields = Seduced!

Any kind of "Problem" which doesn't allow you to keep moving, is called "objection" and it is usually a lack in one of that variables (In general terms)
Knowing what the objection is in each interaction, and how to solve it, is hard, and it is what differentiates a good seductor from one who is not.
So, for me, these kind of experiences make you grow the most, because they sharp your ability to detect and solve objections
(I have learnt a lot thanks to screwing up. I basically used to make a boner, thus generating an objection, then I used to notice the change in her behaviour stemming from the objection, and finally I used to ponder on what was and how to solve it... ).

So if you dont feel too needy of that girl, I would recommend you what I call "A quick try"
(Also called, "leaving poison").
That basically consists in solving the objection, and then disappearing for some time.

Keep in mind that depending on the kind of objection you deal with, you'll have to solve it in one or other way, in this case, the main objections from my point of view are: Shields and qualification.

The problem is that she is literally thinking (uncounsciously) that All you want her for is sex. Even if you only were fuck friends, if a girl starts to think (well, to FEEL) that, she'd eventually go away. Just because they are biologically programmed to do so.

Indeed, the fact that you were not getting sex as fast as you wanted and that she delayed it, was due to.... guess what.... due to an objection !.

Well Imma give you some advice based on my own experiences to solve objections, hope it helps:

Do not justify yourself nor try to talk her into. The problem is not her thoughts or beliefs, but her emotional state. Keep that in mind. You wont attack her logic mind, but her feelings.
A good example of that happened to me 2 months ago. I told a girl about a past relationship (idk why but i did so in a quite douche way xd), (I did so coz it is psychologically proven that knowing about each other's sexual past increases rapport. Yes mi mistake here was that I brought it too soon, it was the 2nd date xd )she got distant after that.
When I noticed, and I told her about that, she confessed that that shit annoyed her a lot. At first, I tried to convince her logically "I did so in order to generate more confidence". Nah shit. That didnt work and was shit. The only thing that worked was attacking her emotions
1st- I told her that I understood how she felt. Literally, you gotta word the emotions.
("You must have felt rejected and used.")
(She replied that yes)
2nd- I tried to solve that emotion
("Well If I am honest, and although I am shy of telling this...that girl never made me feel the thrills and chills that you can do")
("I want you to be more than the typical girl that you meet at a nightclub") (Very powerful message)
3rd- I left a door open
(You meet at a at a nightclub......so I think we should meet up to deal with that. I see yoy at X at X hour) (make sure to not propound a sexual plan, but instead a more casual or even with friends of yours)

Well what I would tell her in your case......... Honestly it is quite screwed.
But maybe I'd try this:

"No words are required. I know that you must have felt used and upset"

"I totally understand. I want you to be more than the typical girl you meet at class and just go on some dates because +HADA (for instance. "because the way in which I feel listened with you whispers me that you should be more than that).So Today I thought of you when I saw X. I'll be going some wknds, but... I think it is still too soon, I want you to take your time and me to take mine. We'll be in contact "

X is a passion or hobbie in common, a place that you both love.. whatever.
HADA= That thing that you like about her and that makes her "special" for instance how listened you feel with her, the good conversations that she gives to you and so on.. make sure that the HADA that u tell her is honest

If between that short conversation she brings up something related with your "sex-egarness".
You can try with: "Yes. Your HADA was so powerful that I felt strongly passionate"

Thats just my humble advice based on my own experience and knowledge.
Even if you decide to move on, I'd encourage you to give this last quick try. Why? Coz 1) You gain experience and knowledge on how to deal with objections 2) You lose nothing. Even if in the worst of the scenarios, for trying to get her back you seemed needy and thus lost value, Who cares? u were gonna move on anyway and she was already lost!

I disagree immensely. I feel straighten yourself out and do whatever the fuck you want and women will find you sexy.

The best advice for beginners is to tell them to go out and do things they want (passionate hobbies, activities, etc.) , to learn to be themselves, and to learn to be the best you. Most guys come on here and they want to have an alter-ego or pseudonym... I am against this shit immensely. The worst advice we give is "filter" yourself. The best advice is learn to be yourself... learn to not need approval... learn to not need validation... learn the subtle art of not giving a fuck.

Fuck all the games... fuck all the bullshit when you straighten yourself out, you're not needy and thus you can say it how it is.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

This.

A lot of newbies come to this forum and think mind games = seduction or mind games = pick up arts. Most of the time such mind games are counter-productive to seduction. At least in the masculine to feminine sense.

Women use mind games to seduce men. On the otherhand, the successful seducer of women knows how to move the interaction forward in the human courtship ritual; not play mind games or move it backwards by giving ultimatums.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Being yourself assumes guys already know what they are doing...

_________________
These hos ain't loyal

Well my point was very simple, you're just being incongruent and creepy if you're not being yourself.

Fake it until you make it is bull shit in the PUA world, it's better to be authentic and admit you're a bit nervous approaching a girl than to put on a false bravado as women can sense it.

I can teach you to escalate.
I can teach you to calibrate.
I can teach you to conversate.
I can teach you to good style.
I can teach you great body language.
I can teach you masculine behaviors and mindset.

What I can't teach you is how to be you. I can certainly guide one to finding themselves but it's a journey you must take on your own overall.

Honestly the more you learn to be you and let yourself just do as you wish the more it's easy to accomplish the rest. You also won't be your most attractive self until you learn to be your best and most authentic self where you only compete with yourself and nobody else on a daily basis.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

I'd argue incongruency is the bs concept. There is nothing wrong with trying to change yourself and practicing something until it can become natural. This is about getting laid not cult self-improvement nonsense. That's the shit that comes from guys who are into pickup but ashamed to admit they are into pickup.

_________________
These hos ain't loyal

This is all about subcommunication..

You met a girl, you guys hit it off, you got close to sex, but it didn't happen as a result you became more focused with closing the deal than the person you would be closing it with. Therefore the idea became repulsive. One that leads the girl to feel like she's about to be used and that was that.

Happens all the time. Women are always responding to your vibe. What you say, feel, and think you're projecting is never as relevant as the subtle energy you're giving off. It's not concious for them, they don't know why they feel a sudden disinterest, but they respond to it nonetheless. You may have pushed this one too far with the final move, basically saying " are you going to let me use you or not?" and so it be beyond recover, but I'm willing to bet she'll contact you again if you just give her a little space. Don't reach out or contact her until she initiates.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com

Well my point isnt you can change or improve yourself. My point is while the community as a whole is about getting as much ass. You can you get more with this style than you can by incongruent behaviors. Women in general tend to be very intuitive creatures they actually read your body language without realizing it and respond to it with an emotion. Basically they can feel whether you're full of s*** or whether you're not, you might as well make yourself congruent so that you would come off as more attractive overall. The most attractive person you can be as yourself flat out. Now you can argue and say no it's okay you can fake it but the reality is no you can't fake it because women know when something is off about you and they sense and feel when somebody is off. Comes across as creepy because your behaviors are very in congruent from a non-verbal standpoint. Since women are very intuitive about such things they get a bad feeling from you immediately aren't attracted to you.

Edited... doing it on my phone is a pain in the ass lol.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

OP here: update on the situation

i had to call her, unavoidable, related to class stuff. i could have msgd but it would have seemed like i was avoiding talking, considering if this hadnt happened i would never have just msgd

i acknowledged that i was wrong, hurt her and how it must have made her feel. it was genuine, you guys helped me realize i was being a dumbass. she was pissed but talking, she said her peace too.

had to call again a few days later to followup on the project. again, couldnt msg, would have been tedious to discuss the project over text. this time she was warm, ,joking laughing, iwas teasing her and she loved it. i hinted a few times to end the call but she seemed to keep wanting to talk. basically, it was like it was before this whole thing, but with a slight distance. unbelievable what women will forgive you for... i wouldnt...

anyway, so now what should i do?

considering that ultimatum, she may be sensitive to escalation, or maybe not? in the past, she dropped hints that she wanted to see me, and i picked up on it and set it up.should i even try to meet her, or just wait for her to trigger it.

i feel like the right thing to do would be to make her feel safe around me again, comfortable, show her that i respect her. joke around, tease her, ramp up the connection

but maybe i'll fall into that no man's land, where if she is resisting escalation/sexual tension, i cant keep trying everytime i meet her, without triggering her radar, and we'll just become make out buddies?

Jeez OP, quit the thirsty shit.

As Eddie said: You started talking again, and you're already thinking about her resisting trying to fuck. Look man, she was married, she aint a virgin. She has sex. If you do hang out, let it happen naturally. If you like the chick's company, hang out, flirt tease and it'll happen. May take some time because you fucked up, but it is what it is. If you just have to stick your dick in her the next time you see her then move on. Be honest here...what are your other options like? Have you had sex before and if so do chicks like it? Because no offense, you dont sound like a sexually confident guy.

lol yeah i see what you mean man. im spiraling.

so glad i got into this community/lifestyle, lot to learn about myself

Sort out your logistics.

Yeah u guys work until 639 on weekdays....that's nothing