Until one moment when I opened up about one particularly sensitive subject and she just bulldozed all over it. It all went downhill from there.

I meant I want to do it and have fun but at the back of my head I'm aware of the points you guys made. I've dealt with the issue but I just prefer not sharing. Then again - it makes no difference. The secret was that a "friend" of mine took advantage of me orally when I was passed out drunk one night in my teens. It wasn't a big deal until her response to it "are you gay? And that she needed to see a psychologist to deal with it..." yeah I agree. I think I've trusted every word she said when it came to describing herself as the person she was. Funny enough she accused me of not being open and yet she's never told me about trauma of her past relationship until she dumped me on the phone.

Like I said before, I have no issue attracting women but what I want is a high quality relationship and somehow I always end up trusting the wrong girl. How do you know if a girl can be trusted?

So you learned to silently suffer. This is not her fault, to be perfectly honest, its rather a product of a lack of self-acceptance.

If you'd stayed connected to your 'core' and she continually refused to meet your needs (e.g., "bulldozed all over it") you would have realized she's unable to meet your needs. In a very real sense you put her before you (e.g., put her on a pedestal). Most women don't want that, they won't respect you and why would they seeing a guy who clearly has very limited to no respect for himself.

You can learn a lot and grow from this experience. Certainly you can go out and meet other women and learn experientially to speak your needs. IF you can make this your sole intent on meeting women then I'd say go for it.
It will be easier to do with strangers than someone you're over-invested in, such as your ex.

Your relationship is over. It cannot continue, as in its current form that means you existing as a 'nice dead person' (someone with no needs). A lot of the guys who come on here quipping about their exes, wanting strategies to 'win them back' simply refuse to see the toll/cost to themselves in doing so. Like the recovering heroin junky the longing for that next hit to just give them a reprieve, or sense of ease in spite of the long term cost, is an itch all too tempting to scratch.

I see this in my clinical practice with a lot of the males I deal with in couples, though women do it too. Having a weak core, and placating, pleasing , doing everything they can to make their partner happy. In a very real sense these people are creating more toxicity to their partner, to the relationship, and to themselves; though they're short-sighted and lacking insight.

A healthy relationship starts with you. Cliche, maybe, but true no less.

If you'd begun this relationship with a stronger sense of self, 1) the landscape of the relationship would look completely different, or 2) the relationship wouldn't have gone past dating where you'd potentially realize this person wasn't for you. Either way, you've stayed true to yourself and lost nothing.

This was the only example of her not meeting my needs that was major. Every time I was stressed she'd try to drag stuff out of me and I wasn't willing to share. Which she took personally as me not respecting her and being a dick. There was no winning. I wish I had ended it at that stage but frankly - didn't have the balls.

There was no emotional stability on her part and every disagreement lead to "are we breaking up" moment. The moment earlier on I realised it was the withdrawal I was finally able to see through my own bullshit of how "amazing" I thought she was. I'm still battling the thoughts of whether I'm right or wrong but I feel relieved not having any of that hot and cold shit.

Relationship threats (attachment threats - what they really are) are generally the beginning of the end. In some instances they can even leave wounds that carry over into new relationships. Each time you hear one its like chipping away at a piece of wood until it finally gives way and fractures.

You'll go through withdrawal for a bit, its part of the process. Once you're over the attachment you'll see the relationship for what it was. That is, unless you 'relapse' and begin engaging with her.

Time will tell wether your resolve is strong enough. Short term relief (contacting her) for long term pain, or short term pain to get over/break this relationship 'flu'/addiction.

I've no intention of contacting her. She said she doesn't see us being together and neither do I based on everything. I'm more so trying to learn from this so when I find the girl I think I can trust I'm 100% sure.
This an

Learn to trust yourself first.

I'm not 100% sure what you mean by that? Trust my instinct and just be open about things regardless of what other may or may not think?

By addressing the self-limiting belief "I am not enough", and instead changing it to its antithesis. Its more a process than a goal.

Your sense of self isn't like a switch - you can't just starting being as you'd stated above by mere choice alone. You can't simply not care what others think, or don't think about you. Not w/o addressing the fundamental issue(s) within yourself - you've defaulted to seeking externally, and until you get the internal down and plug the holes, you'll always revert to the external.

Something like the link below may be more palatable for you (admittedly I haven't read it in-depth)
http://www.manifestintuition.com/trusting-yourself.html

You can find a copy of The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle as he provides a rich, comprehensive explanation as to how the egoic mind (the 'mind') clings to form (anything externally derived). And how in doing so we become far removed from ourselves, disconnected from body and mind, our true essence which is internally derived. All of this is going to sound like an abstraction, you need to do the work if you want to shift from this lack of connection. I'd probably start here.