Met this girl on campus during some event. Couldn't really ask her out right away cause we were in a group setting and I had to run to class. So I added her on facebook. After class I immediately called her on messenger and told her I think she's great and that I'm taking her on a date. She said it would be her pleasure.

Picked her up Saturday, took her to a pool hall. We played pool for an hour, had some interesting conversation with a casual flirty vibe. She even joked that if I kept beating her there won't be a second date which was a great sign cause I don't think girls joke about that unless they're sure there will be one. Then I took her out for some bubble tea and we walked around in a park with a bit of casual hand holding. We arrived at this lookout overlooking the entire park. Started talking and she opened up about about her insecurities, after of which she said "thanks so much for today". I gave her a hug.

Then I fucked up. I started looking deep into her eyes and she knew that I wanted to kiss her. And there couldn't be a bigger green light. But I just fucking froze and kept staring. I fucking froze. She even called me out on it and said that the "daggers" are making her nervous. I just smiled, opened my mouth...and called her by some other girl's name! It was embarrassing shit and was probably a huge deal breaker. Everything up until that point I felt was fine even if I didn't kiss her. I could have recovered. But I just broke a commandment basically by calling her some other girl's name.

My composure briefly broke then I kind of just laughed it off and walked away from her to ease the tension. I taught her bachata and we danced to bachata for 15 minutes. It was getting late and I had work to do so I called it and we walked back to my car. Dropped her off and because she teased me, I playfully grabbed her shoulders and started shaking them. She laughed, drew me in for an embrace and we locked eyes. She said "it was nice meeting you" which startled me since it sounded kind of final as in she didn't want to see me again. But I suppose it's better than "it was nice knowing you."

Since she pulled me in, this time I didn't freeze like a dumbass and I went in for the kiss. But having not kissed any girl in half a year, it was a clumsy sloppy kiss where my lips just kind of closed in on her lower lip and after I definitely had an...apologetic "I fucked up" look on my face. She also looked reluctant to kiss me as opposed to the lookout where she looked eager. She then said "you should go work on that assignment". I said "sure, I'll call you next week." Called her today at 8, she didn't pick up and hasn't responded. Asides from not making concrete plans for a second date, I feel like the lookout incident definitely fucked up my otherwise (in my opinion) great date where we had enough of an emotional connection that she shared some insecurities.

The fact that she hasn't bothered texting back is definitely a bad sign but I figure I'll call again tomorrow and leave a text this time if she doesn't pick up. Or maybe I'm overthinking it and she's just confused why I didn't leave a text. How bad though on a scale of 1 to cringe was that lookout incident? We definitely had a legit emotional connection that I didn't feel any of with the girl from here general-questions/first-date-girl-not-r ... 01643.html or even here general-questions/milf-flaked-didn-resc ... 02435.html. So is that one incident really enough to make her not want to see me again?

It's not a "great" sign, it's a sign that things are good so far, in the moment. Also, why not drinks after pool?
You broke two commandments. One of which was not pulling the trigger after spending the time and effort to load the gun.
Just something to keep in mind here. Women are not paragons of self confidence. You fucked up under pressure and called her by a different name. They'll sometimes say shit they don't entirely intend to say too. That's doesn't mean it's the case here, but most guys tend to overlook the fact that nervousness works both ways.
Lookout incident definitely didn't help.
I suggest sending a text instead of calling. A text can be answered under the desk if you're in a meeting or class. Calls, not so much.

The cringe regarding the lookout incident doesn't come from you calling her by a different name as much as it does from you not having the balls to give her what she wanted. Women live for that kind of shit. The tension was high and the scene was perfect. That's what sweeps them off their feet, not a peck on the lips while dropping them off.

Otherwise though, you did a good job. Try again and if she doesn't respond, take the learning experience for what it is.

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She's 18. Drinking age here is unfortunately 19.

I don't mind sending a text instead of calling but we had a conversation about that and she said that she was very impressed that I called her instead of texting cause most guys text. Also I'm trying to ask her out again and I feel like she's way more likely to say yes over a call instead of text, and that we've built soooooo much comfort the fact that the idea of having to text her to get a response just makes it seem like we're moving backwards.

But hey, you know your shit and I don't. If you still think that one incident killed all the comfort and attraction I built and that I should text and not call, because I'd be lucky to get a response, I'll do that. Otherwise classes here all end 20 after and start on the half hour I'll call during one of those 10 minute windows where it says she's "active now" and drop a last effort text if she still doesn't respond.

Fair enough.
I find texting to be generally more flexible/reliable but that doesn't mean you shouldn't call if that's proven to work for you.
That however is besides the point.

The lesson to be learned here is the importance of making a move when the time comes.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

You obviously fucked up and only time will show if your chances are completely destroyed.

Judging by the tone of your writing, it seems like you have put the girl on pedestal. You are more or less aware of your mistakes, but you seem to be way too bothered by the fact that you might get rejected. You shouldn't become obsessed with that girl and take it as a lesson instead, regardless of the final outcome.

You can try calling/texting her, but keep in mind that she might blow you off in the end. A way to fix that would be to back up a little and then demonstrate value, given that you met her on campus and I assume you get to see her on random occasions.

She showed interest, so may be the game is still on, but don't be too attached to the outcome. Either fuck or learn. Cheers!

Well I think I've just experience what the kids nowadays call getting ghosted. Called again around 8 and left a text. Nada. I think the lesson to learn from this is that being a pussy is hugely unattractive and just being a pussy once after an afternoon of not really making any mistakes can permanently destroy your chances with a girl. We built up a fuck ton of emotional intimacy for a first date. And in that thirty seconds or so she lost an entire afternoon of built up attraction.

I'm just very confused why she stuck around for over half an hour after instead of making an excuse to end the date right there. That thirty seconds where I keep staring at her instead of kissing her clearly was the reason why there won't be a second date. But I did forget to mention she called me out again on my nervousness on the drive back and I just openly admitted to being nervous talking to girls. I thought that being honest would be attractive cause it's being vulnerable. She was vulnerable so I figure there was no harm in being vulnerable as well. But maybe that compounded the fuck up. I'm also confused why she pulled me in for an embrace when I was playfully touching her after dropping her off, let me kiss her when clearly at that point she already had me marked for ghosting. Maybe some girls are absolutely HORRIBLE at being straightforward and go to great lengths just to be polite.

Because it would've been awkward and uncalled for?

You got vulnerable wrong. Being vulnerable doesn't mean being squirmish. And you were definitely not being honest. Not honest to your desires. You wanted to kiss her, and you didn't. No honesty in that.
Going in for a kiss meant putting yourself out there. That's making yourself vulnerable. It's taking a shot in spite of possible rejection. That's attractive. Not telling her you're scared of her.
Just like you did when you first called her. That's what you wanted and that's what you did.
What she did in the moment she did in the moment. Her decision to ghost you was made after you date, with a clearer head and an overview of the entire situation.
She wasn't trying to be polite or avoided being straightforward, she was living it out. Just like you would have in her stead. That's the normal thing to do.
Did you expect her to get up and leave the moment you didn't kiss her? You're not the first time that happened to her.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.