Went on a first date with a girl I've been speaking to for just under a month. 4-5 hour long FaceTime calls, texting each other on and off everyday etc.. hard sexting, she sent nudes etc..

She went through a breakup last month and I went through one in January, similar situations so we kinda sorta bonded over that. Anyway, the date went really well. We walked around London, I held her hand and kissed her quite a bit, went to dinner, walked around some more and then she had to leave so we said goodbye and she initiated the kiss goodbye.

She texted me that evening.

Her: "I'm going to be honest, I thought about this the whole way home and I really thought I was ready to do this but I think I wanted to be ready more than I actually am. I really want to be friends because we get on so well and have a lot in common.. Do you think we can do that?

Me: Yeah sure, like I said before we met up I had no real expectations, just taking it as it comes

Her: Need more time than I've given myself. I want to do fun trips out and everything, I just need to make sure I'm making the right decisions without hurting anyone.

Have I been friendzoned? I've been out of game for a while, she has only been single for a month so I do understand that she might genuinely just not be ready but how do I play this?

Shes on holiday for a week now so there will be minimal contact anyway.

Right well - After 2 days not talking she just messaged me to say she misses talking to me. Utterly confused now

After the date how come you didn't take her home and play hide the salami?

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Haha! She was flying out on holiday at 3am the next day, it wasn't really a viable option unfortunately.

It's what she was expecting. Get her 'worked up' again, set up a new meet, handle logistics in advance.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Usually I'd say that she is just fooling around with you, but in that case she clearly has some interest and she is probably partially genuine in what she is saying.

Given that she has already sent you nude pictures, it's clear that she is playful, trusts you enough and is attracted to you. However, although it might be true that she needs some time after her breakup, it wouldn't matter if she was crazy about you. Moreover, like many women do, she is obviously looking for further attention, so it makes sense for her to play a bit and throw some shit tests.

My advice would be to play along with the whole "friendship" thing and show her that you don't care too much. The important thing is that she sticks around, so that you get the chance to show her who is the boss. You should play hot-n-cold a bit and it will really help if you could fuck/date another woman and let her know in a subtle way. After some time she won't be able to handle it anymore and will make advance, to which you could respond with asking her to get her shit together and decide whether she's in or out. It should be clear that if she keeps playing with you, she loses you.

That's exactly what I've been doing! I haven't made any contact with her whilst shes been on holiday until she messaged me last night. I tried being a little flirty at times but didn't really get a whole lot back at first. We then ended up in a conversation about the date/how she was feeling etc.. and she said that she still wants to hang out with me, have "movie days with lots of cuddles" and she said that "I wouldn't have let you kiss me if I didn't like you, I'm just not in the right place for anything serious right now"

So I agree - I think she was genuine in what she said, I haven't been friendzoned it's just "not the right time". I'm playing along with it, keeping things light hearted and fun, got the next meet set up already so just have to play things off until then I guess.

You played the boyfriend card hard with this one...next time...leave that shit in the movies.

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In what way?

When a girl tells you that she's not ready to date, it's usually to let you down easy or trying to keep things from getting too serious too quickly. Breakups are normally tough, so of course she's going to be hesitant about becoming serious. Your job right now is to be the rebound with value. Fun enough to want to be around but at the same time be potential for the future. If you present yourself as only a boyfriend candidate, you'll scare her away. If you present yourself as just for fun, it's going to be something that will maybe last for a few months. So balance both things and you'll be fine.

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I feel like that's what I've been doing - Continuing to tease/pick on her, being flirty when appropriate etc.. and she's responding to it pretty well, suggesting meetups and things we can do etc.

She came round mine today, we watched movies and banged.

Thanks for the advice guys, worked a treat.

Right. Back to slightly confused.

I was talking about two of my friends who've just come out of a serious relationship, they're going on a date together.

Her: Will sleeping with her help him move on?
Me: I doubt it, if anything shes likely to get attached to him
Her: "Hmm. Take it you don't think that's a good thing
Me: In both their current emotional states, no

Baring in mind I slept with this girl yesterday, is she subtly suggesting that she's becoming attached to me? Or am I just massively over thinking this entire conversation.

Shes supposed to be coming out drinking with me on Thursday then crashing at mine.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Have you actually had sex with her? If yes, then not necessarily. Just stop it with the boyfriend shit and keep things casual.

If you haven't actually had sex with her yet, there's a good chance she's kinda friend zoning you because you're being so "boyfriend like." If you stop acting like that and keep things casual and sexual, you can probably dig yourself out of it.

Just ease off the relationship guy a bit. Women want your time and you're giving her a lot of it. Make her earn it.