Short version:

She (let's call her Zoe, a clear 10) and I have been good friends for a long time (~3 years), in the same circle of friends. Last week I ended up in bed with her (not what you think). I was stifled and clueless how to properly escalate without risking too much. Did not want to cheat on my GF, and scared to destroy the friendship with her.
How should I have done it??

Long version:
(For medium-long version skip to "Ok, here comes the gist:" ; p)

I met Zoe about three years ago through my circle of friends. Clear 10, not just by my standards, very popular. She was in a relationship, I was single. Her relationship did not seem in a great place because her BF seemed to travel a lot and was gone many weekends. There was immediately chemistry between us and whenever we hung out I would get IoIs like she touches me on the knee, brushing stuff off my shoulder (even in front of her BF), laughing at all my unfunny jokes etc. But on the other side she never gave me too many or too overt IoIs where I would say ok, I can definitely make a move.

We went on several 1:1 "dates", some of them initiated by her, but it never really went to overt IoIs from neither side. Those dates could also be viewed as just friends hanging out. Most of the KINO from my side all very playful and did not show too overt interest: like giving playful hugs, picking her up and carrying her, taking hand for a few seconds, piggyback, small touches while talking, stuff like that. She seemed open to all that, did not talk about her BF while we were hanging out, but I never made a move that would escalate more.

Thinking back, I should have made a move during that time! I was too scared though because she was in a relationship and we have close common friends. It turned into a friendship where we would hang out once or twice a month, often times with groups.
Then I got together with my current GF. Together now for the past 2 years. During all this time Zoe still together with her BF. Currently, between me and my GF things are not great, I have a strong desire for Zoe and like her alot, but also do not want to break up with my GF right now (it would hurt her bad and I still have some hope for the relationship).

Ok, here comes the gist:

Two weeks ago Zoe broke up with her BF. She told me about it. Last weekend Zoe, me and a group of people went on a roadtrip. My GF was on travel. We rented an AirBnB with limited rooms/beds. Mostly couples plus Zoe and Me.
So my friend suggests "why don't Zoe and you take the room with the kingsize, is that ok with you?".
Zoe: "yeah sure, no problem".
Me thinking: "holy shit".
We go into the room, I joke around a bit. Then we end up lying on the bed (clothes on) chatting. She wants to check something on her phone and goes into a doggy style position with her ass facing me while she is checking her phone. WTF, IoI!?!
We rejoin our friends.
At night we go to bed. Me only in underwear, she in long yoga pants and a tight shirt (IoD?!). We chat for a while about how her relationship broke, and I tell her I have some doubts about mine.
No KINO from my or her side, just chatting for like 30min. Then she suggests to sleep.

I sleep on my back. She turns to her side facing me with our heads separated by only maybe 20 inches (50cm). She closes her eyes. She could be lying much farther away or turning her back towards me.. IoI!?!

I was thinking the whole time how I could escalate without risking too much. How I could slowly test forward and judge the "temperature". But I figured if I touch her in any way it becomes completely clear and overt that I want be sexual.
Also, I did not want her to think of me as a cheater.

How would you have done it? I feel like I missed a huge opportunity. It's killing me.

What the jolly fuck?

If I read one more post that starts out with "I had a solid 10 in bed, but I pined down my manhood and didn't do a damned thing. Now what do I do to get that opportunity back???"

I swear I'll......

Look fuckers. Never be scared to make the first move out of fear of rejection or believe that you have something to prove to her or someone else. You need to control the timeline and progression of every relationship. It is better to get rejected up front, than to spend months trying to figure out what went wrong, why she’s behaving a certain way Why she didn't make the move FOR ME.

ALWAYS, always, assume the girl that gets in your bed, KNOWS you want to dick her, AND she's fucking perfectly OKAY with that.


I'm surprised you didn't ask if this was an IOI.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

You are right and I agree with your points.

The thing is though:
- she did not get into "my" bed. It just kind of so happened that we shared a bed for one night, because of that road trip situation..
- I have a GF and she knows it.

So the answers or help I am looking for here:
- I would like to know examples of specific and concrete escalation moves (verbal and KINO) I could have used in this situation. Moves that are slow and indirect enough so that I would not have had to risk rejection, but instead could have withdrawn if I noticed she is not into it.
What could those moves have been?
haha, I actually did. But more in a rethoric way ; )
When she did that I just stayed cool and ignored it nonchalant. Should I have addressed it in some way or made some joke comment about it?

First of all why would we give you advice if you are already hesitating because you have a girlfriend? Everything you do will not be fluid because you will have this thought. Either you care or you don't care if you cheat. Actions will be easier after deciding.

_________________
In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

because I know that if I had not had a GF I would have had the same problem of how to escalate.
So I'm looking for specific suggestions and moves how to escalate in that moment

But you are right, I should make a decision..

Spoon her. Place your hand on her lower abdomen. Whisper in her ear "You're so warmmmmm."
Face yourself.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

She was toying with him IMO. If he were to make a move she would have played the offended/misunderstood role. I think she knew he would not make any move and that's why she put herself in to that position. Get some female self esteem by seeing a boy salivating over her.

That is a possibility, It's not like girls are above bating dudes minds around like a catnip filled toy in a pet shop window for her own validation and amusement.

But even if true, you take charge and escalate the situation, call her bluff. Snap that trap on her own tail.

By not making the move you are settling. Waiting for leftovers to be tossed to you like a cur dog. That's why he's to pussified to let go of his current girlfriend, it's the only bone he's got.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

From no KINO going to Spooning or touching her belly, that will probably freak her out..
What are some in between KINO steps to get there more smoothly, maybe combined with some joking comments or raising her emotional state?
Would appreciate some more ideas
Possible.

Let's say I had made a move. Maybe we even have sex. But now she thinks I am a cheater.
I have been in that situation before. Last year my GF and I were also in a bit of a crisis, I met this HB, we went out two times, on the second date she asks me if I want to spend the night at her place. We end up having sex, everything great. I felt guilty and confessed to her I have a GF. Result: she told me to get the hell out and was super pissed. Did not want anything to do with me afterwards..