people can already predict and assume that I have this liner personality. My family assumes that I have no friends. My classmates assume the same thing too. Obviosuly I'm giving a bad impression. And worst of all I DNR notice that I'm giving off this impression. Any ideas on what I am I doing that gives peuple that impression ? How do I fix it ?

Either you are the definition of a stigmatic stereotype or you have "no personality". First off look at your body language. Do you hunch/drag your feet/look like your lost? Good posture, a head held high, a a swagger to your walk can make all the difference in how people judge you.

While you internalize that you can work on developing a cocky/happy/ semi asshole like attitude.

Man, homey, you've got it bad. Your own family doubts you? Ouch!

I would highly recommend you go buy a standard social skills book; not one about gaming. Learn the fundamentals of giving a good impression. I would personally recommend "First Impressions: What You Don't Know About How Others See You" by Ann Demarais, Ph.D. & Valerie White, Ph.D.

I was a psychology major, and I'm familiar with a lot of the concepts they talk about. They use proven studies to back up their arguments. Check it out.

I could be a complete loner (which I have been - trying to get into grad school ), and people still find me to be friendly and charismatic from the get-go. Here are some basics, so you can have the same effect:

1) Have good posture - shoulders back, back straight, and head faced forward. Your posture says a lot about you. The more you hunch or stare at the ground, the lower perceived social status you send to others.

2) Smile - smiling is HUGE. Don't have a stupid grin on your face, but practice always having a small smirk. A smirk is a very cocky smile, and gives you an air of confidence. Have this ALWAYS.

When you are going to smile, give people a "slow smile." A quick smile is that grin you flash at random strangers. Slow it down just a tad, and it look more credible to people.

3) Whenever you're next to someone you don't know (that's not part of your set), take the initiative to introduce yourself. This establishes your status as a dominant type. Even if the set isn't your set, you're essentially welcoming the stranger. This shows others that you're not shaken or deterred by unfamiliarity. Girls respond to this very well.

4) Dress fashionably - you can't expect people to respect you, unless you dress as someone who demands respect. I'm not saying you should go to school in an Armani suit, but wear clothing that shows others you're confident in your body. Try to dress trendy, but with your own sense of style.

5) Lift weights - You'll look better, feel better, and it'll do wonders for your confidence. Frankly, I don't see a reason why you shouldn't lift weights. If you get that chiseled physique half your work will be done. Looks aren't all important, but that doesn't mean girls are blind.

6) Treat everyone the same, regardless of status or age - I treat everyone I meet exactly the same. Old people, young people, wealthy people - it doesn't matter. I'm polite and respectful, but I don't ever try to kiss up to anyone. By showing everyone that I don't care about status, it elevates my own status. I appear as a natural leader. Make sure you've got some decent social skills and charisma before trying this, otherwise you'll just look like a disrespectful ass.

7) Have some interesting stories - look back on your life, and pick out things you find interesting. Every socially adept person knows how to small-talk and elevate a conversation. You need to be able to be able to talk about light subject matter, and be able to transition into more deeper subjects smoothly. Also look up some news stories online before you go to any social event. You NEED to have interesting things to say.

Know how to listen - Lots of people make the mistake of talking too much. They think they're being interesting, when they're really just coming off as annoying. Girls HATE guys who drone on and on. Know how to focus the conversation back to the person. Believe me, it makes your gaming easier, since the girl will be basically feeding you information you can work with. Also, she'll naturally feel closer to you as she continues to self-disclose. This is also useful if you're running low on #7.

9) Acknowledge everyone in the group - You're an alpha male, so act like one. It's your duty to welcome everyone into the fold. Do it tactfully, but make sure to do it. If your friend brought someone you don't know, ask him to introduce you two.

10) Learn to lie well - It's an ugly thing to say, but you need to learn to lie. Sometimes, people are going to say something positive or stupid about themselves, and you have to be able to agree with them. Avoid making any shifty eye movements, don't ever cover your face with your hands, have a nice smile, and nod along with them. Every socially adept person knows how to lie well (and a PUA does, too).

I could go on, but I hope you get the basic idea. Just be friendly and act confident. Things will start popping for you eventually. Some of your classmates might start talking smack, saying that you're trying to be someone else. Believe me, that period will go by quick. In Freshman and Sophomore year in high school, I was a huge nerd. I couldn't get a date even if my life depended on it. Junior and Senior year, I was one of the most popular kids in school. Nothing about me changed - just my mentality.

Peace.

Very impressive post man! I like it. I will go buy that book asap. But yeah tahts really motivating man.

Put yourself in the right frame of mind. Don't think that you suck or that you are a terrible person. Know that you are the man. You are who you think you are.

_________________
success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

When I was younger I had the same issue. People always gave me a hard time. I was the youngest of the children in my family so I was always thought of as the baby. When I spoke up I was always discredited as the baby. This trickled over into my friends routine as well. I always got it at home so I accepted it in the social realm as well. I thought that it was just a condition of my life.

Then one day I was golfing with my dad and I got the best advice I ever got from the bastard. I told him I always get nervous teeing off on the first hole ... I would freeze up under the pressure. He told me ... "You think your the only one ... everyone battles with that."

I listened to his advice and started applying it to other areas of my life. For example, when I was at the social settings I would look at other guys who were "popular" or "cool". I looked at them to see past the clothes and the attitude and realized that they weren't really that good looking and there wasn't anything especially better about their physics. In fact many of them were at a slight less advantaged then me in the looks department. I realized that what separated me from them was just a little thing called confidence.

Now my friend thinks that confidence is cockiness. However, cockiness without confidence is interpreted by women as a flake. I think Buddha said it right when he said that before you can learn to love others you must learn to love (and accept) yourself. I think that this is key to confidence.

So I started looking at what my family was doing to make me feel like the baby. It turns out they were using the same old routines ... maybe 3 or 4 angles to do it. So I started finding ways of to put them back in their place ... little snide remarks which disarmed their statements.

Hope some of this helps.

I know how I can help you because I understand how and why some people are popular and why some aren't having any luck. The best thing you would want to put on yourself is to be approachable. Smiling is a big deal, it lets people know that you are friendly. I will continue this but i have to go to work. lol..

_________________
Dedicate Yourself ` The Road To Mastery `

- JnStyles

In school, popularity is how outgoing you are, period. If you want to be popular, talk more. Whether you're wierd, uninteresting, ugly, have tourettes, etc. if you talk a lot and act independent then you will be liked.

You'd be surprised how much people actually do want to be talked to just as much as you. As an experiment I've tried saying hey to one of the more awkward things in my life: girls I know, they know me, but I don't really talk to them and they don't talk to me. So I tried saying "hey, what's up?" to a few. 99% of the time you will get a friendly response, and if the other person is in a talkative mood (most of the time if you're talking to the more popular girls/guys; as I said, the more you talk and are outgoing the more popular you are) a conversation will easily lead from there and you're talking like friends in no time.

And of course be friendly, smile, and don't be a mood dampener.