So a couple days ago, I bumped into a former sex friend downtown. I was the first to say hello and ask how she was doing, but she reciprocated and seemed surprised and happy to see me.

I did some light kino on her and got her contact info back into my phone. I noticed that she mirrored the light kino onto me a little before we parted ways. She seemed completely genuine and still interested.

Then I texted her a simple, message just telling her that it was fun bumping into her the other day and maybe we can hangout this weekend. The first text message is her telling me that she is often busy with work and yoga?

I realize that she could very well be busy and not making an excuse not to meet with me, which would make sense because we had a great interaction the other day. Things didn't end badly at all between me and her before. We started out meeting often and hooking up, but she got a new full time job and her schedule changed completely. I just gave up trying to meet with her due to her always being busy...so deja vu I guess.

I have two sex friends that I meet with twice a week, but I like this woman in particular...so I want to convince her to free up some time on her schedule to meet with me. I never ask her if she wants to meet up. I always just say that I'm going to be at a certain place at a certain time and she is welcome to join, but that hasn't been working so far.

I just don't understand why she would even give me her contact info again or seem genuinely happy to see me and then turn around and say she is busy all the time. She is definitely not a tease because we used to have sex and she never waved it in my face before.

Anyway, I assume the advice on here is going to be to just move on and forget about her right? If so, I'm alright with that.

I think you're getting too obsessed over trying to understanding what exact intent girls have. She could be sucking at text and just telling you honestly that she's busy without knowing what her next move would be. Or she could have wanted to reconnect with you when you guys met, but changed her mind over text.

Also, typically Japanese people will do things like giving you their contact or being apparently genuinely nice just to preserve the vibe of the moment, although they have no intent of meeting with you later on. So don't be surprised if her interaction is not congruent with the follow-up.

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Because you're probably coming off desperate, overly interested, and needy and now she's not longer interested in meeting up with you like she was when you were being cool and living in the moment the first time. I don't know why you act like someone isn't prone to changing how they feel about you after they show interest if your behavior after they meet you isn't a direct reflection of your behavior when they did meet you.

When you met her you weren't thinking about posting on forums about her, you weren't necessarily trying to meet and hang out either. You were just chilling, vibing and interacting.

Easy solution to this situation: In the past I've had girls that i've slept with a few times that kept being "busy" when i kept trying to meet up for sex after. Naturally so, because all i wanted them for was sex. They knew that. I would text banter them for 5-8 messages and then ask to hang out and get "busy" every time. What did I do? I texted them for 3-5 days when i had time and exchanged banter, but this time i DID NOT ask to hang out. I just offered them value, humor, and good conversation at no cost. After about 3-5 days of that they were far more willing to make time to hang out because they weren't feeling used. I had engaged, showed interested, and treated them like people who were just around to serve my needs.

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This is the reason why she can't meet you and probably don't want to lose her new full time job.

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Meh.
"Maybe we can hang out"? This is a submissive text, which hints that you are not dominant in the bedroom, too. And that''s my guess as to why she moved on.

You: "Hey, cool running into you. Let's grab a drink at my place, tomorrow, 9."

Not: "Aw, hey Amber! It was sooooo awesome running into you yesterday. I miss you! Would you maybe be up for hanging this weekend?"

To the inexperienced, these two texts may look the same. But they say a lot about who you are to a woman who is reading them on her phone.

Text #1 tells her you're direct, to the point, and a leader...a man capable of having his way with her in the bedroom.

Text #2 is wishy-washy, which implies that's who you'll be in bed, too.


Did you really, though? My definition of a great interaction may differ from yours though, as it involves the girl not walking away, or at the very least, having a hard time pulling away from you (pausing, staring when you two attempt to go your own way, and asking what you're doing later).
Translation: She found another guy (or girl).
She's just blowing you off when that happens. Women who are busy will make time for men who are dominant, and lead in the bedroom.

She was just trying to be nice to you, because you two have fucked. She didn't like the sex, so she moved on.

It's over.

9's and 10's will only give you so many chances in the bedroom or in term of over-contacting them.

When you run into a former hook-up who blew you off, look for these signs:

1. She initiates the conversation.
2. She asks you questions like "what are you doing later?"
3. She asks for your contact information.
4. She has big, wide eyes and bites her lips.
5. She has trouble pulling away. Lingers.

Otherwise, you're friend-zoned.

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