| Years ago I was in a similar situation. I was married for nearly 10 years. We had troubles early on with stuff like you're going through but thought having a baby would help so we did. After that things just got worse. She was angry, would scream and yell, lie about money, stuff that almost cost us our home not once but 3 times. I stuck it out for my daughter's sake but inside I was miserable. Sex was non-existent. I simply was not happy but didn't want to leave because I too thought that I loved her and it was my fault... That somehow it was something I was doing, or wasn't doing, that was making the relationship fail. She even told me on more than one occasion that she wasn't in love with me, and yet I stayed. She would use me, control me, lie to me, make me feel guilty. I loved my daughter and feared what would happen if I left the relationship.
Much like you, I came to the pick up community looking for answers. After some help from my recently divorced brother who had become a big time pick up artist, and from lots of research into PUA, I made the decision to finally put my happiness first. I stopped letting her push me around. I called her on her BS. It was clearly apparent I had grown a backbone, however things just got worse as she tried to exert her will on me even more forcefully.
One night after a particularly bad getting yelled at session I decided to finally stick up for myself and put my foot down. After seeing she no longer had that power over me and that I had changed, she went right to "I think we should get a divorce". Inside I was SO happy! Her real feelings finally were revealed. She didn't want me if she couldn't control me. I told her I thought that was a great idea. I started sleeping in another bedroom, and in a few days she had left to her mother's home. She tried several times to talk me back into the relationship but I answered her with divorce papers.
Once I was free I began putting what I learned with PUA into practice. I had the confidence and skills to flirt with and date girls way hotter, younger, smarter, friendlier, and happier than my ex. I soon found the one with everything I wanted for my own happiness and because of PUA I knew I could get her. We are now married and have a beautiful little girl together and I honestly couldn't be happier.
What I didn't tell you is that that bad relationship wasn't my first such relationship. In college I dated a girl for 5 years who treated me even worse. I ended up having to move away to escape it but because I didn't better myself and learn that my happiness is important, I fell into the same trap only months later with my ex wife.
I can't say if your situation is one worth saving. I thought mine was for a long time, but looking back I spent half my life in miserable relationships where I was mistreated and used, all under the guise of love. All I can say is you deserve to be happy. If you sit down with your girl and can discuss this and she acknowledges your need for happiness and is willing to CHANGE to make you happy, then there you go. If she is not, then you need to accept the fact that your love for her will never bring you happiness and things are very likely going to continue worsening. I highly suspect she will not be willing to change and you are going to have to decide if you are willing to leave her to pursue your happiness. Just remember you are NOT happy now and without HER changing you will continue to be unhappy.
Personally it is clear to me that her happiness is the only thing she really cares about. The moment you voice your unhappiness and make real changes towards having what you want in life, in that moment she sees you are no longer hers to control and make miserable, she won't want you and will do everything to push you away, cheat on you, try to knock you down even more, then she will bring everything crashing down around her, including you.
Life is too short. Be happy. Stop involving yourself with people who mistreat you and don't care about your happiness.
I would write down a list of things that are keeping you from being happy. Be honest. Sit down with her and let her know how her actions are hurting you. See if she is willing to correct these issues. It will be immediately obvious if she truly cares for you and wants to work with you at solving these problems, and you need to have a plan ready to set in motion when it becomes obvious that she is not willing to do so.
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CHAT
