While we get on really well with each other, my girlfriend wants to call it off saying: "I don't know why, I really like you and I really, really want to, but I don't feel a romantic connection with you." Weirder part is she still wants to be friends with benefits as well as good friends afterwards if we do breakup. All this coming from a girl who I've exchanged 'I love you's with.

We first met about 3 months ago, (she's the girl from the 'From casual to "Lets slow down, I like you" thread), we were casual, I made her my girlfriend, and, like I said, we really do get on really well and have fun, we're practically the same person when it comes to hanging out, we love the same things, and the sex is great, but now she says this. Apparently I'm the only boyfriend she's ever had this problem with. (Ha, maybe my attraction game is too strong.)

I'm confused, its so out of the blue, and I was wondering if you guys have come across this, have any opinions, or can shed more light on what is going on?

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"The strong did what they could and the weak suffered what they must." - Thucydides

yes probably she feels very attracted to you, no brainers she does not love you, if you do then you are in trouble, she feels attracted to you for your lifestyle and the way you behave with her, getting this lady to love you would be very hard task, when ladies don't feel the connection that's it they don't feel it, look you can give it your best and try to win her heart, good luck!

She doesn't want to be exclusive.

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Typical girlie speake which translates to: The sex is great; from your end only, not mine.

Girls don't want to hurt men's feelings; especially their egos. Oxcytocin release and strong emotional attachment are strongly correlated. When a girl feels a strong emotional attachment towards you, she doesn't want to let go. She wants to get closer and make great sacrifices just to be closer to you. In this case, her emotional attachment grew weaker and weaker until it reached the breaking point.

When a girl is having a generous dose of vaginal orgasms with you, you trigger massive oxytocin releases in her body. A massive dose of oxytocin makes girls more emotionally attached to guys who are the source of such intense pleasure. The opposite is the equivalent of having blue balls for 3-months straight at times two the intensity of pain. Women have twice more nerve endings on their clitoris alone than the entire penis. Considering the size difference of the clitoris and the penis, the intensity of pain from the equivalent of blue balls among women could be more than twice what men suffer.

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Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Why would she offer to remain fuck buddies if she doesn't enjoy the sex?

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Why would she still want to be fuck buddies then? I doubt its the sex.

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"The strong did what they could and the weak suffered what they must." - Thucydides

Exactly. Thats part of why Im so confused.

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"The strong did what they could and the weak suffered what they must." - Thucydides

When you do break up... Based on your post, you're not fuck buddies yet. At this point in time, it's just a promise from a girl who wants out.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

So the problem is always bad sex until proven otherwise?
lol.

Regardless, OP, my opinion is that she didn't want to be exclusive to begin. She went along to give it a try, but it seems pretty obvious she wants to experiment around.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

You didn't get the clue in the 1st thread.
Your obviously trying to push her in a direction she's not ready for. She's standing on the edge of a pool that looks temping, but she's not hot enough for a dip yet. Yet she feels you at her back waiting to shove her in.

You're making it uncomfortable.

You're just 3 months in, the both of you hardly know each other yet. And the sex may be great, but you're laying a heavy price tag on it.

Buyer's Remorse

The phenomenon when a women feel a strong sexual attraction with men (when in reality) they barely know, then afterwards are so filled by regret and disappointment and loneliness, so that they in some way try to justify their behavior by claiming that they need to slow things down so they don't feel taken advantage of and didn't make a conscious personal choice.


Try backing the fuck off.


Save this for when SHE says in ........ way down the road.

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I can agree with MC on a technical level that even though she offered fwb situation that could be bs. The issue with this line of thinking though is these guys are dating girls who have com from other relationships which lasted longer. If sex were the issue that would imply that the other bfs were sex gods which doesn't add up when it's stated most guys suck in bed. If orgasms were the issue why are these girls able to stay in other relationships for longer? You'd have to be saying that other guys can achieve real orgasms but then you're saying most guys can't do that.

This.


This.

This.

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Its funny, when I read that I instantly recalled the night I asked her to be my girlfriend. She later told me that night that she was surprised she said yes because she wasn't looking to be in a relationship, (She had gotten out of a 3 year one a couple of months previously), but she really liked me so she was happy too become mine. And judging by the realisation I got from Heywood's quote below, I'm sure now that I was very attractive to her and I did push her into it and now she has buyer's remorse because either its too fast or we just don't click the way she was hoping. Fuck.

My last (and proper first) relationship was fast and it was great for 2 years and I guess I just thought the speed didn't really matter if she really liked you. Plus, she was seeing another guy openly at the time just before I asked her out, guess I wanted her all for myself. Oneitis snuck up on me again. Damn it.

As of this evening, we are 'broken up', however, we're meeting up this week like normal like nothings changed. We even made out after the 'break up', (and it doesn't seem like she was bsing about being fuck buddies). I think we've just effectively just went one step back, back to the point just before I asked her out. Buyer's remorse - all this now makes sense to me.

Thank you guys.

As of right now, I am backing the fuck off.

And thank you to everyone else who posted, its always great to see things from other people perspectives.

Will update on the situation.

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"The strong did what they could and the weak suffered what they must." - Thucydides

If she really wanted to be with you, she'd find a way to make it work.

The feels aren't there, bottom line. Move on.

Noted. Good to know.

True. And hey, if this FWB thing doesn't grow into something more naturally, then yeah, nothing else more to do other than to move on. Best thing to do right now is to just back off and not have my hopes up.

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"The strong did what they could and the weak suffered what they must." - Thucydides