Hi guys,

I've been reading this forum for some time but finally decided to sign up.

So I'm looking to hear you guys thoughts and what you would do.

I met this girl in a nightclub back in October. Got her number and we went on a couple of dates (only weekends as she lives 1.5 hours away), we text everyday and eventually 3 weeks ago she invited me to her place where we had sex. It was pretty intense, I felt like I put in a good performance haha.

I thought I'd play it cool the next day and wait for her to text , which she eventually did but I think this might have gone against me.

Anyway, since then her texts have reduced considerably. She's even left it days between texts but she still texts me and asks me how my days been, what I've been up to, etc so I still get the feeling she is interested.

The week before last I said to her if she had time on the weekend (last weekend) I would take her out for food and drink. She responded and said she should have time and she would let me know. We continued texting but she never mentioned it. She could have been busy which is fine but before we had sex she would have followed up a date offer. I obviously made a mistake by giving her the power and lowering my value there.

I've played it cool up until this point, I've tried to improve my value by text as I realise that by asking her out and having sex that I am no longer a challenge for her.

Should I give some sort of ultimatum and say something like "if you want to join me this weekend for food then that's cool but you're running out of credits" something playful but says you're running out of chances. Or Should I go NC for a few days?

We sent a few texts back and forth last night but I've not text her back yet.

She's a strong character, competitive, confident, works very hard in her job, the type of girl that thinks she can beat me in everything. I called her a psycho the other day and she told me I have criminal behaviours, that's the kind of banter she has with me. so I realise I need to be really dominant and alpha with this one!

I like this girl and would like to spend some more time with her. What would you guys suggest to increase her interest levels and chase me?

Why would it go against you? Don't text without purpose. Don't just "check in" because you had sex.

Sounds boring, to be honest. What's up with everybody and this "how's your day" bullshit? Text a funny meme. A video. A picture of a dog. The internet is literally swarming with entertainment and "how's your day" is your go to You didn't 'lower your value' by asking her out. Having sex is not what makes you no longer a challenge.
Asking her out, her giving you a vague and uninvested answer and you continuing to talk to her inspite of it is what makes you no longer a challenge.

That said, what kind of date invite is that? "If you have time"? An interested woman will find the 25th hour in a day for you. She has time. But not when even you don't think you're worth it.
No. Never give ultimatums. Eliminate the word from your vocabulary.
Either you're strong enough to walk away, and you walk away.
Or you're weak, and you threaten to walk away hoping the other person doesn't call your bluff.

You don't need to be 'really dominant and alpha'. You need to be centered and confident.

Now given the half assed nature of your last date invitation, send her the following:
"Let's go out for a few drinks on Friday. 8:30 PM. Bar X"
Choose whatever day/bar you like. No food, just drinks. Judge the food on the fly if you're feeling hungry.
Regardless, that's how you ask a woman out. You include a specific day, time and place. No ifs.

If she says anything other than yes, do not contact her again.

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How to keep a girl.

Welcome to the forum:

Heres a few solid links to get you started:

pua-lounge/topic190620.html

closing-and-day/topic189168.html

approaching-and-opening/topic190187.html

Let me know if you have any questions.

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I agree with the above info already given. Just a few quick observations.

1) So she built rapport, built trust, then she escalated by inviting you to her place and had sex with you. Then she's moved on and is generally uninterested in you, while you're still panting after her like a puppy dog. Sounds like she's a pick up artist! Seriously, she did to you what most guys who come here hope to do to girls. That is very telling....

2) How would you be acting right now if you had 10 girls you were texting, flirting with, dating and having sex with whenever you wanted? I'm guessing you wouldn't even have time to worry about this one. If you can't see yourself in that situation then my friend you have lots to learn about this way of life.

Stop worrying about this one. She isn't worth your time. You've spent valuable time and energy on her when you could have put that into other girls. When you're banging a couple other girls and this one comes back, she can join in or hit the road. That, my friend, is the kind of confidence that gets you whatever you want with whoever you want.

If you're asking how do you get to that point... Well that's what this forum is all about.

^ Nailed it.

Can't take that long. I personally don't recommend making date arrangements unless it's the same day. The more you have her in person the more real things get.

Nope. Overthinking.
Completely normal behavior for a woman in the 8-10 range of attractiveness. These women will have several men they are involved with. These men will all get blown off when she finds an alpha male who is dominant in bed.

Yes.


Bad. This is a very submissive way to ask a woman out. And forget the fucking food, man. What is with all the coffee and food dates early on? This isn't 1950 anymore.

Why did you continue texting? Put your phone down! The phone is for setting meet ups only early on R.C. said "text with a purpose".
It's a combination of two things:

1. You weren't dominant enough in bed.
2. You are contacting her way too much.



LOL! Dude, that is incredibly desperate and emotional behavior. Do you know who gives ultimatums to new and newerish women?

Crazy ass stalkers.


Which you are not being at all.

First, stop all the texting. You come off like a chatty woman. Wait a week. If she contacts you in the meantime, text "Let's grab drinks at Bar X, 10 pm."

If she doesn't text you in a week, hit her up with that straight away. Show leadership.

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Awesome advice in here guys really appreciate it! I'm learning a lot and realise I definitely went wrong in some places.

I text her back last night, said 'you, me, drinks on Friday at xxxx' (it's an unusual venue that serves strong ass cocktails that she has never been to before but once told me she was interested in going).

She replies and tells me she hopes I don't think she's blowing me off but she can't (some excuse) but she is free next week.

As it happens I realise it wouldn't be ideal to see her anyway as I have to work Saturday morning.

Wondering whether I reply by saying actually I couldn't go (technically flaking on her?) or just don't text her at all or text her flaking and then don't text her at all and go find someone else.

Cool, this is good.

Text her back the next late afternoon and say: "Cool, sounds good. Let's do Tuesday, Bar X, 9".

She didn't flake, man. Calm down. She offered you the opportunity to lead on a meet up for next week. If she blows off this one, find someone else.

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I'd let her come to me.

3rd date invite in a row? No thanks.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Quick update to this... which will hopefully help many others who are or will be in similar situations.

So I text her back saying that I hadn't realised I was working the weekend I'd asked her to go out, but I completely ignored the fact she said 'I hope you don't think I'm blowing you off, (stupid excuse), but I'm free next week'. From the advice I received here I figured that after 3 attempts she can chase me if she actually cares.

She never responded, which is fine, but she did Snapchat me on the weekend, which I'm not sure if that's her trying to keep me keen. As it happens I've started to care a lot less as time has passed. Plus I actually went out on the weekend (even though I had work the next day) and some girl in the club asked me to go back to her place (I actually flaked on her because she was too keen, and I had work a few hours later).

I realise now that I need to have an abundant mindset, there's plenty of other women out there!

Welcome to the Matrix, Neo.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.