Don't worry about forgetting the things that you regret...just learn from them and move on.

One of my favorite pieces of advice comes from Dragula. When the date starts, treat them like your girlfriend. When you walk with them, hold their hand. Hug them. Get them into the mindset that this date also involves affection. Don't worry about the awkwardness because that will go away.

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That's the thing with my regrets, I haven't been learning from them. It's something that I must work on from now on.

I can't believe how true the saying of 'You’ll Only Regret The Things You Don’t Do And Never The Things You’ve Done' is. I've gone for kisses (when drunk) with female friends and they've rejected me, I'm still glad I tried even though I shouldn't have. But here I am kicking myself for days over not trying with anything with this girl.

The second part is something I will give a go. I imagine that it would've done wonders with this girl. I didn't really show any affection towards her as I was to nervous to.

Unfortunately, this has been playing on my mind all day again. I've been so tempted to contact this girl to try and arrange another date. I think the main issue is that all my friends are busy and I have nothing else to do on Saturday night. And I'm pretty certain she doesn't have any plans either.

I know all the advice given suggest that this is a bad idea, and I think I know it's a bad idea. But I can't get rid of the temptation. I'm going to be out drinking tomorrow night as well, and this is when I'm worried I'll contact her.

Now I know this would be going against the advice already given, and I will try my best not to give in to the temptation. However, if I do end up contacting her, should I playfully mention the fact that she didn't get back to me, or just go straight to asking her out?

Delete all of her contact information. You won't be able to give into the drunken weakness or you have nothing to do excuses.

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Yeah that would be the best option I suppose. Most of the communication has been on Facebook though. Don't know if I want to remove her off there just incase of the slight possibility she'd contact me.

That weak mindset is what got you in this mess to begin with.

Are you looking to improve or are you playing the lottery here?

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True, but I can't help thinking I have a chance still. Probably not, but it'll bug me not knowing going forward. As I'm already in this mess, what harm will another message do? At least I'll know then and won't wonder about it.

If I do message her, should I playfully mention the other day or just go straight to point of asking her out?

You are actually planning on making a bad decision and asking us to help you with it?

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Unfortunately I was yes. I went out tonight though, had a few beers and just enjoyed myself with family. Strangely enough, a few beers made me want to contact her less.

So, instead of being a dick and dismissing the advice you've taken the time to provide, I'm going to follow it and won't be contacting her again. The ball is in her court after last week, so if she's interested she can contact me!

Makes it a bit more interesting when I run into her at the gym though I suppose.

You should try approaching other girls too, to get your mind off her.

Indifference only works when you're not waiting for a reply each day.

I am a strong advocate for being as indifferent as Arch says however I can say it does have some flaws to it.

The first disadvantage is that you base your entire move on the presumption that she won't find a better guy. You kinda depend on her only meeting needy men that will sooner or later shoot themselves in the foot.

If she meets an emotionally centered guy that doesn't fuck up, you're dead in the water.

For example, I lost a girl this way to a very persistent guy, whom she later married and now has a kid with. Now, that option has gone forever for me, because even if they were to divorce I wouldn't hit on a woman with a child.

Another thing is that it's very, very slow. It usually takes me somewhere about two months playing like this and there was one time where it took me two full years.

In that particular story, in the end she contacted me, I asked her out as friends somewhere, I escalated like I always do(except kissing her) and at the end of the date she tried to kiss me. However, at that point in time I was in a relationship, so I turned her down.



But it certainly has advantages:

In my opinion it's the best way to make girls chase you.
When they're chasing, windows of opportunity open all the time and, even if you miss them, sometimes they take the lead and try to seduce you, even if it's not typical for them(I know some shy girls that swore they'd never chase a guy).

Another thing is that the moment she contacts you, she's signaling she's interested to a degree and it creates a window of opportunity which you can exploit.

Usually windows of opportunity come on the fly and if you aren't very experienced or perceptive, they can fly by you or you can handle them badly. But that, that's a window of opportunity you can't miss and can prepare for adequately (Drinks -> Your place -> Sex, hell you can even visualize how the whole scenario will play out, can lines, think of conversation topics, how to get in a sexual frame etc).



One more thing is that there is a fine line between being indifferent like Arch because you are attractive and have options and acting indifferent to get back with a girl, and it really does show.

While you are acting like you're indifferent, why not try building yourself to the point where you become outcome independent so that this comes to you naturally?

Approach other girls, go to the gym, focus on your career. Build yourself as an attractive man and indifference will come naturally, so you'll no longer need to act while checking your phone every 5 minutes.

Thanks for this. Completely makes sense and I'm trying to build myself to be more attractive. The main thing I want to concentrate on is the gym as I've slacked that off for far too long now and need to get back into it. This I'm doing tomorrow but it's possible I'll see her there. Don't know what I should say to her? It'll be a bad idea to speak about last week I'm sure. Will just have to see how it goes I suppose.

I also, as you suggested need to approack new women. Unfortuately, I basically see the same ones each day and they aren't all that attractive. I also can't keep a conversation going. Any tips on this? I just don't know what to speak about. I've seen lots of posts here suggesting you just speak about what you would with your friends, but I don't really know what I speak to them about. I'm not really the speaker of the group.

This will make a huge difference.
Act like last week never happened. This is what a man with options would do. Be fun, and live in the moment.

Women DONT WANT you to keep the conversation going. They want the Stathams and the Eastwoods, not the chatty frat guy. Ask questions, escalate with shocking, yet charming honesty and lead to the bedroom.

What the hell is this? You need your friends to speak for you?

This is incredibly weak behavior. Go out into the world alone. Walk around. Go to bars alone. Put yourself out there and just start talking to people. Stop acting like a sheep, and get your hands dirty.

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Yeah that sounded worse than what I ment. Don't need them to speak for me, I'm just the quite one and rarely initiate the conversation. I know this still comes across as weak behaviour and I need to try and be more of a leader. Make decisions for the group rather than tag along. I'm too easy going I think.

I struggle with the going out alone idea. I have two places that are quite close, but still a few miles away. Also, I would know a lot of people out there and I just think it seems a bit strange for someone to be out alone. Don't know if it's a UK thing.

Make decisions for YOU.

You know what's strange? Guys who embrace a couching lifestyle, spending tons of time indoors, and only hanging with males most of the time, jerking off, and living a terrible life.

That's fucking creepy and strange.

I prefer to go out and meet women alone. The hottest women love a lone wolf or a bull moose. It shows you don't need to hang out with the spike bucks to have a good time. You're a man, an adult, and you can create your own great time.

Ever notice how the bull elk regards the herd of spike bucks that hang at the periphery of the bull's harem? He simply doesn't give a fuck unless one of the dumb spike elk challenges him, and then the spike elk gets maimed.

Stop with the excuses. Build a lifestyle that gets you a harem, not a group of spike bucks. you do this by focusing on self-improvement through fitness, career goals, literature, and mind expansion. NOT from PUA tricks or "magic words".

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If you see her you should act totally cool and continue escalating.

Most guys get thrown off by how women behave around them or what they say to them, but a real man, knows how to keep composure in spite of this.

Whenever you have the opportunity, escalate.

Even if she didn't return your call. Even if she flaked. Even if she said you're just a friend to her.
Or that she has a boyfriend(well maybe not then, depending on your principles).

HOWEVER, escalate in a respectful, self-confident way. Don't force kiss her, grab her, grapple her or do whatever shit people get convicted for.

How do you escalate? Be fun, bring positive emotions, flirt, tease, kino escalate until you get very touchy with her etc.

Here is a a kino escalation ladder presented in a more theoretical way, so you get the idea:

http://www.slideshare.net/vhie130501/16 ... tionladder

If you escalate right you can turn girl from neutral to interested.

In order to escalate right, you have to neither come
-> too strong, by being too pushy, aggressive or sexual too fast, or
-> too weak, by not flirting, teasing or getting sexual at any time.

You have to find the right balance.

So, how can you learn to escalate right? This comes with experience.
It's like lifting weights or learning to play the guitar. At first you'll be bad at it, but in time and with perseverance you'll get better.

This is why I advise you to approach other girls. In order to build much needed experience with escalating.

So when you see this girl, act cool, pretend like nothing happened and immediately begin to escalate.