Since I've finished college things have really gotten dull. I've ended up getting relocated to a village for work, that's 12 miles outside a nearby city. It has been a bit alienating going out there at nights. I've a few friends, but only one who's really possible to get a hold of. He's a Lithuanian in his early 20s. There'd be a slight language barrier and he's not great with the girls, but his attitude is great. He doesn't seem to mind being rejected at all.

Anyway, after an open mic, we both sort of spontaneously decided to head out for the night. It was great in that, it was just assumed that we were both out to get girls. I didn't even have to clarify it. Most other guys I know would just act like they're too cool to get together as a pair to hit on girls.

During the night, after these two girls (we were talking to) left us, I started commenting on which one I thought was hotter. Long story short he said something like "I like it when they're short cause then you can pretend you're f**king a 12 year old". After a pause I said "what?" which gave him the chance to say "just joking". I was in a busy environment, and since I guess it wasn't what I wanted to hear, I must have just blocked it out. I've no idea why he said it, he's definitely not dangerous or evil, but it just bloody well annoyed me that he had to say it. Everything was going great. I didn't really even have to get on with him, or have anything in common with him; but just to have someone there so it wouldn't feel so bloody alienating.

It wasn't until the next day that I actually remembered it, and said to myself "no, that was weird". He actually had to come by to collect something he left in my car that night, and I didn't like having to say it to him but I did. Told him I didn't like hearing it and I was confused why he mentioned it. He denied it and muttered some stuff while he avoiding eye contact. I couldn't really be sure if he actually didn't remember it - I don't drink after all. But I just needed to say it. I should have confronted him on the night. He didn't make contact with me after that, but after we happened cross paths and talked for a bit, he's since tried to make contact with me a few times suggesting we go out, but I fobbed him off. The thing is, since then I seem to have become more isolated.

Part of the reason it pisses me off so much is because I went out with different guy about a year back, who was a bit socially lacking, thinking to myself "the worst that could happen is that I might be seen with him, he's surely better than nobody!". But I could feel him watching me during the night and the next day he showed me a video he got of me dancing with this girl. Freaked me out! I felt so stupid for liking the fact that he looked up to me. So after that occurrence too, I don't want to end up being somebody who views things, that most people take for granted, as being too good to be true!

So could I get over this in order to use him as a companion... something to give me that extra bit of a sense of purpose. It's as if it's annoying me more just typing it. I feel like I'm sitting on a mountain of wisdom with less and less opportunities to use it.

My initial thoughts were you were overthinking shit, so I skimmed your posts where you have a clear history of weird overthinking. Stop that and just chill. Probably just was a joke. Guys/people have dfferent senses of humor. If you see him do really creepy shit or it gets out of hand thats another issue. Abt the guy taking a video of you with a chick, thats what guys do. Guy is just watching what you do to learn something. A video of you dancing with a chick, is a buddy moment, you laugh, he laughs and its no big deal. Ive had friends take videos of makeouts and its something we laugh about. I dont assume they're crazy for joking around

Relax

While it should raise a few red flags I agree with the guys above me. He was probably making a joke. Of course if it were to escalate beyond joking and he were to act on it- well that's another thing entirely.

Who jokes like that? wtf...I'll joke about fucking a goat before paedo

The purpose of many jokes is to be outrageous. Humor is in saying something that is taboo and fucked up. There are comedians who joke about committing rape, fucking underage chicks, killing poor people. I wouldnt take it so far to dismiss someone and stop seeing them after one joke I didnt find funny. Now, maybe the guy is a paedo. But one comment at a bar between 2 guys; one who is socially awkward and cant deliver a joke and one who is socially awkward and cant read a joke, is not a big deal.

And it's the less intelligent people in the crowd who are more inclined to laugh at it! Do you find it funny?

I don't find it funny - regardless of whether or not I'm offended by it, I still don't find it funny. It's a lazy way for a comedian to gain attention and is usually resorted to due to lack of actual skill. Once the comedian has gained the approval of the crowd they can abuse by saying things people wouldn't ordinarily get away with. The difference in my case, is that my buddy hadn't gained anything like this when he made the joke.

It doesn't mean that the comedians aren't letting themselves down though. And haven't come across many cases of it. Only one I remember is when some comedian mocked the oscar pistorius situation, which must have hurt the family of the deceased deeply.

Especially when there seems to be more and more cases of child rape on the media.

The way you wrote it it's not funny to me. But with the right timing, delivery and wording, yeah I could see it as funny. Im not one of those people who cant laugh at a fucked up joke if its delivered right and at the right time. But regardless, even if I didnt find it funny, I wont stop hanging with someone over a statement at the bar. You do understand that just makes you seem too uptight and weird right? You said there was a language barrier. You're at a bar. Guy is socially awkward. I won't take seriously a joke or a statement a guy like that says at the bar and decide well, Im not going to associate with him over a statement especially with all those factors present. If you find he is the only one who is willing to get back to you, it may because of weird actions and thinking like that. As I said, relax.

I didn't find it particularly funny when reading it, but I also think that nothing should be out-of-bounds when it comes to comedy. It;s about how it's delivered.

To be honest, about 80% of my friends have probably made paedo jokes at one point or another in my life time on nights out!! Sometimes it was funny, and sometimes not so much