I will summarize.
I met her, she was receptive, we met 2 times. In the 2nd we were talking with our mouths really close. It was obvious thay I had to advance. But due to some reasons I didn't. After that, she talks less to me and responds less (throu whatssap I mean). She still starts the conversations sometimes.
She is an erasmus, that is, she's going to be in my country for one year. She has boyfriend in her country though.

It is obvious that I lost "Value/attraction" for not jumping when I had to, but I think that I also activated her shields and defenses, cause she may have felt blame for trying to hook up while she has bf. In fact, I think that if we had made out, she would have astranged from me due to that feeling of blame. What do you think?.
Well, It is obvious that the objection here is the value/attraction and her defenses/slut-sense. So, I would be really interested in knowing your opinions and what would you do in this situation.
I thought about telling her the following (through whatssapp) "Although I was really feelink like kissing you because ..(here I tell somethings to make her feel special: like because I felt so connected with you or stuff..) I did not because I did not want to hinder in your relationship (here I generate value for making myself more "harder" to accede, and I also reduce her slut-sense and blame). Then at the end I would say: "Sorry girl.. we getting laid will never happen that's impossible between us" (Again in a funny way I would increase my value and reduce her defenses)
(The message won't be like this one, and of course it all will be funny, with humor)

I am really interested in knowing your opinions

Thank you so much for your attention guys !!

I would just play it cool. Verbally going back to a prior moment with a girl will usually not yield a result because although you, possessing a logical mind, can justify the explanation and it makes sense to you - she will not see it this way most likely because her actions are driven by emotion.

When you're with her again if she FEELS like kissing you she might kiss you. Don't try to explain it logically or you'll be cockblocking yourself.

Another thing to consider besides the bf is she may feel you're not that into her because you didn't make a move and now she is protecting herself with the shields because in a sense you "rejected" her.

Just keep it light and fun.

It's shit.

Like OceanX said, you're trying to logically convince a woman over text.

Everything you just wrote is needy. Women don't care about this stuff. They are over it, that night. Men tend to obsess over meaningless, small shit and scare women away.

Instead of explaining yourself over an issue she doesn't care about, show the balls you didn't have before:

You: Hey, I'm celebrating good news at my place tomorrow night with a movie. You're welcome to join.

If she declines, then you say: "Cool, have a good one".

Eventually, if she has any attraction for you, she'll love your leadership in getting her over to fuck, and then your chill indifference at her decline. This tactic will pull women on the fence to your side many times. They'll text you a few days or weeks later with a "hi" or something along those lines. Then you invite them over again, or for drinks.

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Well I think that I have to explain me better.
it's right that it is an intend of logically justify myself, and that kind of stuff doesn't work, but it goes beyond. The main thing that it generates is Value/attraction for letting her know (well, believe) that I am not going to kiss her and that nothing can happen between us. Cause When you take away your interest from a girl she's likely to feel attracted, also telling that that is impossible, has its effect, as we humans tend to feel more appealed by things that we cannot have.
And the last and most important effect, she now associates me with sex (I think) so she's likely to show reluctance to meet me or to let the interaction advance, cause she thinks that being with me = sex, so her defenses and shields are activated. With this message, what I do telling that I am not going to try anything is to reduce these shields. And I do not lose value cause at the same time I express my feelings of attraction. Of course the message won't be like the one I posted before, it was only the main information I wanted you to know. The conversation would be like this:
" Talking about her boyfriend or something that yields me to this"
Me: You know, I was feeling a so intense connection with you when talking about our past experiences that day.
She: Aaww haha
Me: So intense that I couldn't almost avoid kissing you. But Of course I controlled myself cause I don't wanna infer in your relationship, I don't like it.
She: (No idea what she would reply haha)
Me: Sorry Girl, I don't want to deceive you but nothing can happen between us, it's impossible, no sex !! Hahah
She: (no idea what she'd reply, but in the worst case let's imagine that she says...)
" I don't want it to happen either... I have boyfriend"
Me: it calms me.. I was starting to fear that u wanted to rape me hahaha (or whatever funny thing)

Well my point is that although it logically justifies why I did not jump, it goes beyond and what it really intends is to generate the value/attraction that I lack with her now (by telling her that I am not going to try anything, making me "harder" and impossible), and to reduce her shields.
I want you to consider not the logically justification but the effects that it has on attraction and her shields. What do you think?

Thank u a lot for replying guys !!

Well I think that I have to explain me better.
it's right that it is an intend of logically justify myself, and that kind of stuff doesn't work, but it goes beyond. The main thing that it generates is Value/attraction for letting her know (well, believe) that I am not going to kiss her and that nothing can happen between us. Cause When you take away your interest from a girl she's likely to feel attracted, also telling that that is impossible, has its effect, as we humans tend to feel more appealed by things that we cannot have.
And the last and most important effect, she now associates me with sex (I think) so she's likely to show reluctance to meet me or to let the interaction advance, cause she thinks that being with me = sex, so her defenses and shields are activated. With this message, what I do telling that I am not going to try anything is to reduce these shields. And I do not lose value cause at the same time I express my feelings of attraction. Of course the message won't be like the one I posted before, it was only the main information I wanted you to know. The conversation would be like this:
" Talking about her boyfriend or something that yields me to this"
Me: You know, I was feeling a so intense connection with you when talking about our past experiences that day.
She: Aaww haha
Me: So intense that I couldn't almost avoid kissing you. But Of course I controlled myself cause I don't wanna infer in your relationship, I don't like it.
She: (No idea what she would reply haha)
Me: Sorry Girl, I don't want to deceive you but nothing can happen between us, it's impossible, no sex !! Hahah
She: (no idea what she'd reply, but in the worst case let's imagine that she says...)
" I don't want it to happen either... I have boyfriend"
Me: it calms me.. I was starting to fear that u wanted to rape me hahaha (or whatever funny thing)

Well my point is that although it logically justifies why I did not jump, it goes beyond and what it really intends is to generate the value/attraction that I lack with her now (by telling her that I am not going to try anything, making me "harder" and impossible), and to reduce her shields.
I want you to consider not the logically justification but the effects that it has on attraction and her shields. What do you think?

Thank u a lot for replying guys !!

Terrible.
This tells me you still don't get it. You're getting advice here, and ignoring it. You're too wordy and needy in your plans. And attraction is either there or it isn't. Words will not convince women to fuck you. The only thing that can is chill indifference.

You're reading too much bad PUA shit.

When I hear words like "display value", "kino", "raise attraction" I want to shake my head. That shit is either there, or it isn't. It can't be faked. The girl knows you're fuck material right away. It's your job to remain emotionally centered and fun (not clown or ass kissey court jester fun, but cool fun), and not fuck it up.

Your machinations are nothing more than your insecurity and fears protecting you from rejection.

Plow through that bullshit and just ask her to hang out, directly. This is what a dominant male does, and women pick up on this. It also tells them this guy is probably dominant in the bedroom, and in his career. He doesn't need to "tell" or "convince", he just shows by actions.

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I agree with everything Arch has said. You came for advice, and we have both stated essentially the same thing. You can do it your way (as you seem intent on doing) or be influenced by what we have said. I wish you the best.

You are right bro.
I see that you all agree about it.
And I totally agree too, it is right that I have to be the best version of myself and hang out with her, while I keep improving and practicing with other girls, and above all, while I keep "living my life" (working on my projects...).
I do it all, not to get her back nor to succeed among women, but because that are my values.
I know that the way I expressed myself in the message made me look needy and unconfident, like if the problem was my inner game. And you gave me an "inner game solution" which I really appreciate and I get and agree about. And of course I have already put in practice. But my question was led to the "external game". It is right that all these shits about displaying value and stuff sound really artificial and can even be counterproductive if they are not congruent with the personality, (that is, if someone is a needy person and uses all these things to attract women, he is not going to succeed) (which is how I think you've perceived me and thus the advice you've given to me). But regardless all of this,
My question was led towards the'external game'. Not cause I want to manipulate her or because I am needy or something, but in case there is a "fast way" to recover all the work that I have lost for not jumping (she is less receptive, and so on...).
Because if I don't, I am not going to get another date/chance as she is reluctant to meet up and less talkative through whatssap (that is, she tends to ignore me more..)
and if I cannot talk to her throu whatssap cause she sometimes ignores me, I cannot advance with her either... it doesn't matter how much "inner game" or self-confidence I have, or how much male I am, if I do not interact with her, I cannot show/use it.
So that was the point.

It seems that I overthink it, and I may do, but not cause I am needy or excessively "in love" with her, ( I am not emotionally affected by it) but just because I always like to have answers and I like psychology. I mean, I am a "pondering" person.
In fact I barely read PUA stuff.
What I know about it is because some years ago I did, but now I don't.

Thank you for replying !!

Bla bla bla bla. Your need to be hyper analytical and explain every facet of every possible angle is going to doom you with women if you don't change.


You: Hey, I'm celebrating good news tomorrow night at Bar X, 9 pm. You're welcome to join.
Her: Sorry, can't.
You: Cool, have a good one.

Then you game other women.


You: Hey, I'm celebrating good news tomorrow night at Bar X, 9 pm. You're welcome to join.
Her: Okay, sounds good.
You: Cool, see you there.

Then you escalate in person.


Everything else you are doing, everything else you are thinking or explaining, are machinations based on fear and insecurity to protect your ego from possible rejection.

Dominant males with abundance mentality push through, take action, and lead.


And quite honestly, if a woman is ignoring you on Whatsaspp repeatedly, stop contacting her, or you'll come off as a stalker. You left this relevant piece of information out.

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You defined quite accurate how a "dominant male" acts.
And yeah, I am acting that way. The thing is that I like this girl more than the others and, yes, I date others but also if I can get to something with the girl I want, why would I not?.

Well it is right that I didn't say that. She ignored me sometimes although they were not so important messages. She starts the conversation sometimes. (But she does not feed the interaction as mush as she used to). It was the point in which I started to doubt haha.
Cause she acted less receptive than before, but kept messaging me first sometimes, whilst other times ignored me (even if she started the conversation first). So i started to wonder: what the hell is happening here? Does she want anything or not?

That was the point in which I changed from an "inner-game" stance, to an "external-game" questioning.

Cause I wanted to understand what was happening haha

It is impossible to figure out women. All you can control is YOU, and give women the space they need to sort through things.

It's good that she reaches out to you sometimes. Don't contact her, and wait for her to reach out again. As soon as she does, ask her to meet. Be the direct and decisive guy you have not been! Follow my text examples in the above posts. Don't engage in boring chit chat. Ask her out immediately.

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True. I am going to do that !!
I did twice in the past but she couldn't. (I think she really couldn't). Regarding this, another thing that changed is that before me not jumping, when se couldn't meet she propounded another day to meet, but after that she didn't anymore.

But anyway I think I am going to do what you said. I have the hunch that she's going to finally meet up with me.

Thanks for your help bro !!

Next time pull the trigger when the time demands it. And no, there's no valid reason to not do it. She'll feel a hint of guilt either way, and if you don't stamp it as a big deal, neither will she.

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