Really, how do you do it guys?


After my 'rebirth' few years back when I discovered PUA, i began working on myself, my dreams, learning and entering businesses and overall just improving my life in general and I noticed that people want to spend time with me but I ALWAYS HAD THIS feeling that I'm sometimes being a slight annoyance sometimes.


Now let's cut to some example: I'm 22 and I moved to another city, there I meet some guys who are in their 30s and they regularly invite me to meetings, dinners of simply coffees. The reason we became friends was because we belong to the same political party. Those two guys IN PARTICULAR are equivalent to congressman in USA, but in my country it isn't THAT big of thing.

Anyway, we know each other no longer than a year and I never asked them any favor, although they insisted to pay all the dinners or coffees they invited me because I'm a student, bla bla.

And then I need this help because I was starting my business and I don't know, they went silent, they deflect my need for help in subtle manner so I don't get offended and I haven't heard from them in two weeks now.

I was always planning something in my life and I meet some really important people before on a friendly note. And every time I ask for help the RELATIONSHIP all gets weird and awkward.

Another example was when i was 15 years old I meet by chance with a guy(40s then) who was reviewing and making videos for T-mobile. I got in contact with him, we meet and had decent number of coffee talks (that "friendship" laster roughly 14 months), etc. And then I needed help in producing my script for a TV show, after which he went silent. I wrote 6 fucking episodes and gave all the scripts printed and then it was nothing.

Why people do that?

Sorry, I know it is not pick up related. But it's about relationships and I know people here have had similar cases.

Hope you can give me some insight. Thanks.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

I could be wrong, but you sound like you are trying to use your friends as business resources which would have them putting in work and effort and at the end of the day you are the one that gets the rewards from it. So instead of giving you the help that you are requesting, they are avoiding the subject or you in hopes that you'll get the hint that they don't want to be involved. It may not necessarily be true, but that's what it sounds like.

What you should be looking for from these friends is mentoring. They like you, so they'll give you advice. Follow the advice so that it shows that you're actually putting in the legwork to make things happen. Tell them the results of the advice that you have received and any roadblocks that you face and solutions that you may be using to overcome these roadblocks. When they know what's going on without having to get their hands dirty, it'll be like a story that they'll want to see have a happy ending and that moment that you really do need their help they will more than likely do what they can to get you over the top because they are invested in the story.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

This sounds about right. I don't want to jeopardize friendship with them by being clingy too much. But I'm honestly afraid that they won't take me serious as a person if I just pretend their 'intentional neglecting' didn't affect me. You see my dilema? What should I do, how should I behave?

Never though of this before, but this is something I'll definitely put in practice more often in future. Thanks for input.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

look cross....you handle your shit like a kid. You don't sound like someone who is doing business well. If you want people to help you...make sure you at lease have a plan. People aren't going to give you their services for free. You're a guy with ideas who thinks just because you think your idea is good others should too. You have the have your idea locked down, know how much money it will cost and how much it will make. For e.g. You go to a guy who does videos asking for help. You should approach him knowing the hourly rate for his services, and estimate of how much work you will need from him and a plan on how he will be paid. People don't have time to hear vague shit like I need your help when it's business. If your idea depends on help then it's not a good idea. You should have a plan on how you're going to do what needs to be done and regardless of what your friends do or don't you should be able to get it done.

You act normal. You continue to handle your business and get it done without them. If them not helping you with your business goals affects how you view them as friends then the problem isn't really them.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Thank you. I had a full black on white business plan written and printed for him. He was not the investor, he's an expert on legal issues and I hoped he could accelerate the whole thing. But the part on which I was too vague was how is he going to be paid. I admit, I didn't put much effort in that section. And now it is killing me that I left with a bad impression.
Thanks, the process is ongoing even without them. But I could have saved myself and my partners from a lot of hassle, mostly bureaucracy related.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

Not pickup related your post, but I'm going to make it pickup related just for advice:

Guys, don't ask girls for favors, especially in the beginning. Major turn off.