People with lots of experience, please chime in. This is what I THINK is true.

Guys are logical. Women are emotional. If a woman does something that I dislike, or I want her to do something about this situation, etc. The hard and unsuccessful way to bring it up is being logical. I.e., "Why did you do this. You said you weren't. Blablabla. You must stop.". <---- LOGIC.

The successful way is to tell her how you FEEL when she did x, y, and z. I.e., "Hey hun. When you did this it made me feel like this. I mean, put yourself in my shoes. If x and y happened, then z, I'm sure you would feel like that too" <---- EMOTION

And if you can relate to her about how you FEEL, then odds are she will be more willing to stop without you having to say "This must stop".

This is what I believe to be true from my experience. Guys with lots of LTR experience please correct me if I'm wrong.

Sort of true. Women do think more emotionally, but they also MOVE ON faster than men, and are better multi-taskers. Men tend to obsess over smaller things for longer. Ever misplace something in your home? Men will turn the place upside down all day. Women laugh at this.

No. The first thing you should ask yourself is this:

"Is having a talk worthy of this issue, or am I becoming emotionally-uncentered and insecure?"

Constantly telling a woman how you feel or correcting her for things you presume she is doing wrong is needy, emotionally-uncentered behavior.

You have to pick and choose your spots. The relationship should be 99% fun, with the occasional "I'm not a fan of this type of behavior" the rest. If a relationship is not like this, it's not worth it. You should be wanting to fuck and have fun more than you want to make "corrections".


Yes, it is emotion. But have this "talk" too much ,and she will begin to distance herself from you. It's important to be more fun and chill, or she will associate you as a whiner/debbie downer, and bail.
Not always true. If you come off as weak, she might continue.

The only instance where a woman "must stop" within a relationship is if she's cheating on you, beating you, or getting sexual/flirty with guys over text/social media, or smoking crack, lol.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

RC:
Now, you can study up on NLP and negotiation and sales, and WIN/WIN/WIN, whatever else and try to introduce those concepts to your relationship. But at the end of the day, a chick aint a dog nor a child. The girl you give the TITLE to, should care about my wellbeing. She should know what is respectful for me and what isnt. She should know what would hurt my feelings and she shouldnt want that. I shouldnt have to GET her to feel it through my eyes, if she has an ounce of common sense. I shouldnt need to tell a friend, hey man when you called me a bitch that was rude...he should know. If you have fucking standards for what you expect, you'll find chicks and people follow suit. Gf calls me a bitch or threatens to punch me (as your ex did), its over. Simple as that. Could be 5 days into the relationship or 5 years. I dont need to say that, but chicks can pick up on the fact that you have expectations.

Appreciate the posts gentlemen

Curious, have you guys read "How to be a 3% man" by Corey Wayne? If so what do you think of it?

Yes I have, I think it's good.


Also, I do believe that sometimes you do need to "correct" a woman. Not because you want to control her, but because you like her and want to give her a chance to remain in your life.

I've learned over the years that no one is perfect. If a girl is hot enough, fun enough in bed and has the ability for clever banter, I will gently say "these are my standards for a gf", and then move on to a fun topic. I will give her a few shots to meet these standards because I like her.

I would rather have an imperfect gf, than perfect masturbation.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

Dope point. How do you constantly keep the not serious fun topics popping? Examples?

it could be anything. Like teasing her, taking her out to play video games or bowl, taking her out for a drink, fucking her, wrestling around, slapping on the ass, turning on a funny tv show, playing around with your pet with her, biting her ear, whatever. It doesn't have to be verbal. When I say "change to a fun topic", it could be anything.

But it is important to be fun most of the time. It would be psychotic to always be happy, lol, but just be aware of your "fun" ratio with women. It's easy to let life issues and insecurity issues (control, neediness, etc) begin to take over.

I just say what I'm thinking a lot of the time. The other day, my gf and I had a dour conversation about her work. I started complaining too, but we were at dinner and I wanted the vibe to change. So after the waitress served us, I said "she has nice tits", and my gf started cracking up. Then I said "would you do her? and my gf just started grinning. Saying audacious things is fun for women. They dig anything out of the mundane or not debbie downer.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

Hey arch, what are examples of something you'd correct? Because Im always confused by this

Behavior that doesn't respect the relationship, basically. An example would be getting drunk at a bar and letting guys hang on you, other un-ladylike behavior, texting dudes on snap for attention, substance abuse that begins to have negative effects, etc.

Some girls get it right away, others are less self-aware, but contain other great qualities. If you are dating 5's and 6's this isn't a problem. But in today's social media world, 9's and 10's have guys streaming at them constantly.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

Thanks bro. So I should strive to give off a fun vibe. When do you change the topic though when she complains and when do you actually listen, ask her questions to open her up?

Also. I'm guilty of falling into the jealousy slash neediness trap. How do you stop it/get out of it?

You get a feel for it. However, sometimes people need to vent. Girls will often say "we're going in circles" , lol. They are very perceptive to repetitive behavior and negative vibes. They get you the first time, usually. You'll know when to pull out of the negativity. Look at her actions...is she smiling? When was the last time she smiled in the evening. Better yet, how do you feel? Are you smiling?

Just be aware of the fun ratio. Love is FUN, not serious. Put that in "memo" on your phone. As men, we take things seriously and have a need to "fix". This does not work with women.


Eventually, you have a "realization". You realize we are only on this planet for so long. you realize that we are designed to have sex with each other. You realize that women you care for will ALWAYS be attracted to certain other men, like YOU are to certain women, and will have/had other dicks in them (or a tongue, etc). You realize we are biological creatures, not perfect robots with no variances. It's just science.

When you accept that women have craven fantasies like wanting a threesome with two girls or two men, when you accept these desires and then look at your own, you realize we're here for a short time, and you begin to LIVE IN THE MOMENT. This makes you less needy, and more fun.

Sure, we all slip. It can be easy to fall for certain girls, and want to contain them, But you can only control you. Women you get involved with will never leave your side if you follow the fundamental rules.

Sometimes, when I'm fucking a girl, I'll think of her getting railed by other guys/girls in her past, and I'll embrace it, embrace the fact she's a vibrant, sexual human being who's had different partners, and probably will so in the future. It is science. It is life. It is reality. And I begin to live in the moment and cherish our time. And when you value something more, you make it more positive organically.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

I think that's good advice for people who are insecure about their partners past. But what if she has no past, and you're just being jealous/insecure? For example, with my ex, she has no past at all. It's middle eastern culture so women are much more conservative than westerners. My ex wouldn't even hug guys because it made her feel uncomfortable. Anyways, she was friends with this 1 guy who is a virgin. She told me she's friends with him b/c he doesn't stare at her or do weird stuff lots of middle eastern guys tend to do. I seen the guy and yeah I believe it from his vibe. Dude is definitely not trying to get at my ex. On my ex's friend snapchat I saw my ex just be hyphy with her friend and that dude, they were getting dinner. This dude and my ex were sitting next to each other at the table, and all my ex did was turn her back to the guy leaned back to kinda push the guy for half a second and then carried on to her fun vibe she that her girlfriend was recording. The guy's reaction was he was on the phone and didn't even look at her, he seemed kinda annoyed. I've had relationships with girls like this too, and it was LITERALLY a brother sister type of relationship. (I.e., she'd be the annoying little sister, and I'd be the older bro busting her balls type of deal) I guess typing this all out does help with jealousy, but is there anything else you'd recommend to not get jealous when these type of situations come up? A girl is going to have her guy friends. She doesn't even hug guys, but I still was pissed at her friendly back to his shoulder bump. I know I was just being dumb and jealous.

Also, what's your take on texting? Do you and your girl text throughout the day? Playful non serious shit I would assume if so. Or do you keep it to a minimum?

Sorry for all the questions, but you seem knowledgeable bro.

I always wonder, if you gotta tell your gf not to get drunk at the bar and let guys hang on to you, if she's that slow, can she even get it? If she's texting dudes for attention, and you say these are my standards, does this do ANYTHING? Sure, she may not tell you anymore she's texting guys, but its denial to think it would stop. Its also not a 9 and 10 thing, any chick who isnt inhuman at the bar drunk is gonna get guys hanging on. Any chick has guys they can text for attention. Dont get me wrong, I get no one is perfect. But to think a correction in these instances is going to change something, is just unrealistic. If I have to tell you that your drinking is out of hand, odds are you just wont tell me when you're passed out drunk the next night. I'm not big for correction, just because people are going to do what they want to do. And giving a boundary, doesnt mean they cant do both. So a chick may want to text guys for attention and she may want to be my gf. I tell her not to text guys for attention. She'll just text guys for attention and hide it. Problem solved. I think you're excusing things because of perceived value for this rating. A chick could be a 10, doesnt excuse her from having to seek guys for attention. In fact, a 5 should need more attention than a beautiful chick right? I could very well say its understandable the 6 texts guys for attention, because of her lack of confidence. Whatever a chick looks like, it doesnt excuse or explain shitty behavior.

Yeah, they do usually. Not everyone is the same.


It's dudes texting HER. Look, truly attractive women in the 9/10 category have men coming at them all the time. Text, FB, work, streets, etc. Some handle it different than others. As a man, I understand that the women I date are beautiful, and desired by other men. But eac hone handles these men differently. Some women have a hostess mentality (keep everyone happy, don't ruffle feathers), others are ice queens that will be vicious, while others will just ignore the texts.

And yes, expressing your standards does indeed work when you have already applied the fundamental rules, and you have the woman hooked. It's not effective if the women is not invested in you. As a man, you should know when she is. Most don't.



Oh, it most certainly is. These are women who have been complimented and worshiped their whole life. Men, EVERY SINGLE DAY tell them they are beautiful hit them up, etc. These women are also likelier candidates for having received physical abuse from creepy uncles or grandfathers. There are many SIGNIFICANT differences in tone, temperament, and attitude between extremely attractive women and not so attractive women. Yes, all women should be treated the same way in the field (and I do). Treating the 9's and 10's like you do the 5's is exactly how you get the 9's and 10's hooked, lol.

Because of the life long praise and worship placed up on them (hot women in small towns are treated like goddesses), these women will seek out this praise in various ways as they age...whether social media, dressing up with girlfriends for a night out to show off, or teasing men they have no intention of ever sleeping with.

This is reality.


A 5 would not need more attention, because she was never exposed to the kind of attention a 9/10 gets growing up. She doesn't miss what she never had.

If you apply the fundamental rules (chill, fun, good in bed, leadership/dominance, fitness) and you have a woman telling you she loves you, yes, letting her briefly know about your standards is effective to change behavior. Again, if you are coming off emotionally-encountered and you suck in bed, the girl is just going to do whatever she wants because your value is low.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.