I have some exciting news. I think a lot of you will appreciate this.

I am a regular poster here. Some of you look at me as a comedic character. Ever since last week I have been trying to figure out how to word this. I decided I am not going to associate this with my regular account because I am paranoid. So I picked a completely random username so nobody figures out who I am.

December 3, 2016 around 8 pm local time
I tell her in broken Spanish "but I am a virgin"
She says "I will help"
I say "you will teach me?"
She say "yes"

Thank lord jesus I took Spanish in high school, since she spoke zero English.

I pay for the hotel and we go to the room and I tell her one of my fantasies is a girl peeing on me. She pees on me. She tells me she has to take a quick shower. I tell her my other fantasy is taking a shower with a girl. I get in the shower with her. We both get out of the shower. She puts a condom on my erect cock. bj then sex.

Guys, I am soooo disappointed in sex. It was nothing like I had imagined. Masturbation is 100x more pleasurable. Fuck you dragula!

I always imagined I would write "I lost my virginity!" as the post title and my standard grammys speech in the body of the post. But I am not going to do that because I am just so disappointed, THIS is what I have been chasing all my life? Are you kidding me? All those girls who rejected me, all those times that I got upset due to a rejection? all those times that I kept playing a conversation in my head, wishing I had said something else?

Last night I went to an event and this gorgeous girl was there. She kept looking at me. I am pretty sure she was available. I didn't bother talking to her. Not worth it. No thanks, I will masturbate.

On the plus side, she said my cock is bigger than the average cock. she said something like "I am surprised with a skinny body like that you have such a big cock" and at some point I felt like I was legit hurting her. you're going to say “of course she would say that” but I am pretty sure she wasn't bullshitting.

Also, I guess my social anxiety has gone down a little and I am starting to relate to people a little?

The next day I get back and start feeling guilty. "oh no, what have I done?" I could not sleep for three nights because I thought I had caught HIV or some other STD. I kept going to the bathroom and checking my cock for any rashes or warts or signs of an STD. so far nothing but some STDs take 3 months to show up so I am just waiting at this point.

So is that what pussy feels like? Why did I not enjoy it? Is it because she wasn't "tight"? I don't even know what tight means, because I have nothing to compare to. Is it because the condom was too thick? I just didn't feel like I am inside someone.

How old are you?

"I ain't a killer but don't push me. Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin' pussy"-Tupac

Look man, I'm gonna have to go with Tupac on this one....

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http://www.thehardballplayer.com

Notbart? Is that a reference to bartm?

Nothing gets past you

I'm lost already.

That's because you're a novice at sex and an expert at masturbation.

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